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Posts by tracey88
Joined: Jan 1, 2009
Last Post: Jan 1, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: USA

Displayed posts: 4
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tracey88   
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Stanford--why a good place for you? ("stereotypical Asian parents") [9]

Any comments or critiques are greatly appreciated
thank you so much!!

Ever since I was young, my parents, like stereotypical Asian parents who wish the best for their children, would often hint at top universities which of course includes Stanford. Despite their firm ideals, I have also realized the importance of listening to myself to find out what I would be happy with, particularly during my college search. Therefore when I first started there were a wide range of possible colleges that I was interested in including both public and private and both near in California and far in the East coast. However as I researched each college one by one, I came to realize that Stanford is a college that can satisfy both my desire for a challenging curriculum and personal content.

My first observations of Stanford were the beauty of the campus itself, the small city location, and its relative proximity to my home, all of which, to me, are inviting characteristics my perfect college.

However more important than Stanford's outer appearances, is its strong academic program. The importance of a good education paired with hard-work has always been a strong emphasis in my family. When I reached high school, my parents encouraged me to go to a highly academically oriented college-preparatory school. Despite my initial reluctance, I finally came to make one of the best decisions in my life. I admit there were times at 2 or 3 am when I wondered if all the hours of lost sleep was worth it, however with the support of friends and the satisfaction of successfully completing another "challenge", whether it was writing a 12 tone composition or analyzing themes in Pirsig's The Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, made everything worthwhile. In a college, I hope to find this same kind of rigorous yet rewarding education. With Stanford's top professors, research labs, and diverse and inspiring students, I know that Stanford can offer exactly this along with strong programs in my current interests in biological sciences and foreign languages, two interests which I hope to one day combine into studying comparative medicine.
tracey88   
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Intellectually engaging- my experience with mock trial [3]

you have interesting and good writing :]
but i would be more specific on what exactly you do in mock trial that is "intellectually engaging"; the so what factor.
maybe describe a specific case.

i hope it helps...
tracey88   
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Common app essay(My friend said it's bad) [4]

in my opinion its pretty good but there's quite a bit of repetition:

the idea that you didn't understand english at first is repeated:

To me, the text were nonsense. How can I possibly do homework when I can not understand anything! I felt an eager to ask my cousin for help, but I did not want to rely on her. With my electronic dictionary's help, I could pronounce these gibberish words and understand what they mean. Slowly, English was not gibberish to me anymore, it was a language.

also

I can not only speak English now, but also explain ideas clearly to the others.

also maybe clarify which country you came from

"I was able to not only adapt to a society which I found hard, but learn many."

maybe change to

i was not only able to adapt to an society that I was unaccustomed with, but also teach? many.

i'm not sure if you're looking for the verb teach..but "learn many" doesn't sound right...

hope it helps:]
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