Rooseveltsea
Sep 14, 2012
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: Computer terminals available to students in different faculties [2]
Task 1
Hi everyone, I'm a new member of this forum. I'm really hope and thanks for your help to make my writing better!
This writing is for Task 1, summarise the information from the table below.
The table shows the number of computer teminals available to students in different faculties at university.
Faculty________Computer terminals____Numbers of students_____Average number of students
_______________________________________________________using one computer terminal
Agriculture_________17_________________240_____________________14
Arts______________35_________________730 _____________________21
Education_________25_________________890______________________36
Engineering________41_________________317 _____________________8
Law ______________43_________________473______________________11
Science___________74_________________241______________________3
TOTAL___________235________________2891 _____________________12
Here is my writing:
' The table shows that the number of computers provided for students in 6 different faculties are very different. While the largest number of students access to computer is in 36 in Education, the least one is in Science with only 3 students.
Science and Engineering are faculties with the least students though are provided the largest number of computers. Science has 74 computer terminals which is the highest number of this list, while has the second least students of 24. So the average number of students using one computer in this faculty is only 3, a quater of university average of 12. The similar situation is in Engineering. Although the number of computer in this faculty is much fewer than in Science (41 pieces) the average of 8 student per terminal is the second least in this table. Law is also small (473 students) and has 43 terminals giving an average of 11.
In contrast, Arts ans Education have the highest average number of students per terminal. Despite of having much more students than two faculties in above paragragh, 730 students in Arts and 890 students in Education, the m=number of conputers provided to these faculties is much smaller. There are only 35 computers available for Arts students and this number for Education is 25 giving the averages students access of 21 and 36, twice and three times more than resourced with an average students per computer of 14.'
Task 1
Hi everyone, I'm a new member of this forum. I'm really hope and thanks for your help to make my writing better!
This writing is for Task 1, summarise the information from the table below.
The table shows the number of computer teminals available to students in different faculties at university.
Faculty________Computer terminals____Numbers of students_____Average number of students
_______________________________________________________using one computer terminal
Agriculture_________17_________________240_____________________14
Arts______________35_________________730 _____________________21
Education_________25_________________890______________________36
Engineering________41_________________317 _____________________8
Law ______________43_________________473______________________11
Science___________74_________________241______________________3
TOTAL___________235________________2891 _____________________12
Here is my writing:
' The table shows that the number of computers provided for students in 6 different faculties are very different. While the largest number of students access to computer is in 36 in Education, the least one is in Science with only 3 students.
Science and Engineering are faculties with the least students though are provided the largest number of computers. Science has 74 computer terminals which is the highest number of this list, while has the second least students of 24. So the average number of students using one computer in this faculty is only 3, a quater of university average of 12. The similar situation is in Engineering. Although the number of computer in this faculty is much fewer than in Science (41 pieces) the average of 8 student per terminal is the second least in this table. Law is also small (473 students) and has 43 terminals giving an average of 11.
In contrast, Arts ans Education have the highest average number of students per terminal. Despite of having much more students than two faculties in above paragragh, 730 students in Arts and 890 students in Education, the m=number of conputers provided to these faculties is much smaller. There are only 35 computers available for Arts students and this number for Education is 25 giving the averages students access of 21 and 36, twice and three times more than resourced with an average students per computer of 14.'