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Posts by NFont
Joined: Sep 23, 2012
Last Post: Sep 24, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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NFont   
Sep 23, 2012
Undergraduate / FSU College Essay - The Importance of Leadership [3]

Topic: Florida State University is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future career. We are a caring community of well-rounded individuals who embrace leadership, learning, service, and global awareness. With this in mind, which of these characteristics appeal most to you and why?

Hailing from a caring, well-rounded environment similar to Florida State University, I have been able to reap the benefits of characteristics such as leadership, learning, service, and global awareness throughout my high school career. These elements that make up an educational community are vital, in my opinion, to creating a balanced student who is both well-informed of the past and well-prepared for what lies ahead. Though all of these characteristics are essential to creating a constructive learning environment, leadership is the most important quality at FSU to me.

Leadership is a quality that is indispensable to learning, service, and global awareness. With out it, no real success is possible whether you are a leader of a country or a football team. Individuals seem to forget that leadership is not limited to political figures, but it extends to a wide variety of genres. You do not have to be the President of The United States to be a leader; you can be a teacher at the front of a classroom, or a service coordinator at the Susan G. Koman Race for the Cure. That is the beauty of leadership and its appeal to me.

Throughout my life at Palmer Trinity School, I have had a great deal of experience with the quality of leadership. Blessed with the opportunity to lead my class for three years, I have gained an intimate understanding of what it means to be a leader and what it actually entails. Apart from the great responsibility and maturity that leadership instilled in me, I have developed a great awareness of "the whole." Rather than base my decisions on what would benefit me the most, I have trained myself to re-route my thought process and attempt to understand what would benefit my entire class even if the results are not in my favor. This selflessness that leadership engenders is something that cannot be gained from learning, or global awareness.

I have always believed that leaders are fearless, self-assured people who give rise to progress and attempt to change things for the better. At Florida State University, I intend to take full advantage of every position of leadership that is available to me. Although throughout my four years I will do a great deal of learning, community service, and become a more globally aware person, I want to continue to be in a position where I can consider myself an involved member of a community that is greater than myself.
NFont   
Sep 23, 2012
Undergraduate / My learning evolution ('fountain pen fanatic') - common app [2]

Your essay is fantastic. I love the message you have conveyed and the way in which you accomplished that. Your first few sentences are interesting and will definitely catch your admissions counselor's attention.

A few things to note:
1. When you want to use the "dash" you need to make sure it looks like this, "Bangalor in the first place not just to frequent"

2. Consider rephrasing the section about the bubble. Maybe something like this "Living in a Silicon Valley suburb, it's easy to get trapped in a bubble, but my desire for knowledge has helped me to pop that bubble and break out."

I wish my CommonApp essay was as creative as yours! I guess I'll have to rethink it!
NFont   
Sep 24, 2012
Undergraduate / 'always helping people' - FSU learning essay admission 2012 [4]

Hi! I'm applying to FSU too!

It seems as if you aren't answering the question in terms of learning, but instead service. I understand that you had to adapt to your father and his new personality, but I do not see where learning comes into play. In your last paragraph, you say that you would always help people through their troubles which seems as if it is a "service" oriented quality. I think that you should decide whether you want to talk about learning or service and go from there.

If you want to talk about learning, you should talk about psychology and the influence your father's personality change had on you and your curiosity towards the field of psychology.

If you want to talk about service, you should talk about your own experience with your father and your ability to manage your life and relationships and how that experience will help you to help others.

In any case I think that speaking about your father's influence on you is extremely powerful and important to your message!!

If you don't mind reading mine, I would really appreciate it!
NFont   
Sep 24, 2012
Undergraduate / CommonApp Essay - Whiteboards and Teddy Bears - Teacher experiences [2]

The screech of an Expo marker makes my spine tingle. It has been this way ever since I unwrapped my first package of markers and doodled "Ms. Font" at the top of my very own whiteboard, gifted to me especially from Santa . . . or Target -- I'm not quite sure. In any case, this sound identifies the one thing I have always been sure about myself: I want to teach.

Katie, my first student, can vouch for me (teddy bears are honest, I promise) -- I have been teaching since I was five years old. Initially, my mom thought this was an exciting game, but one I would soon tire of. When I didn't, she agreed to buy me the essentials. Eventually I had accumulated everything a genuine teacher would need to run a classroom, even a book of attendance. Gone were the days of doing homework alone! Instead, 18 of my very own furry friends would sit on my bedroom floor to help me.

I entertained myself for years with this childish pastime, but soon enough people were asking what I wanted to be when I "grew up." What did I want to be? It seemed easy enough to just spit out the word "teacher" like a piece of dry gum, but alas, it was not nearly that easy and being a teacher didn't seem nearly that disgusting. Though I couldn't disagree more, teaching, as my eight-year-old self had come to know, was a terrible profession! "You'll be poor!" they said. I didn't want to be poor! Suddenly, a future in medicine or law became more appealing and at night I fell asleep content with the fact that there was a good possibility I would soon own the largest collection of designer shoes in the world. I would constantly argue and patch up my little brother's wounds as best I could, though nothing was as rewarding as listening to the screech of the Expo as I scribbled my name.

I have since matured and come to a deeper realization thanks to a summer internship I held at a school for children with budding Autism called The Crystal Academy. After much practice, I was permitted to hold a therapy session with a child, Lulu, who was learning to say "hi." After relentless repetition, the word slipped from her tiny mouth as if she had known it all along. My frustration towards the situation was evident, but things became clearer to me than they had ever been before.

Teaching is not a profession that is anything like law, medicine, or any other occupation for that matter. It requires a special person who has enduring patience, the ability to love unconditionally, and most importantly, the undying enthusiasm of a child. Through my experiences with working for organizations that aim to educate children, I have learned that the path to my life is not paved with monetary goals. Instead, I am driven by the sheer joy that comes from smiles on children's faces and the knowledge that I might have had the slightest hand in putting it there.
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