Posts by Nemoo

Nemoo

Oct 12, 2012

Writing Feedback / Average weight of people is increasing, causes and solutions; 'burgers & pizzas' [3]

Your essay is good
1- Good vocabulary.
2- Good supporting ideas.
however you have to think about the essay organization.
First, use topic sentence in each paragraph which include the main idea of this paragraph.
Secondly, don't mix ideas in the same paragraph.
Finally, try to balance the paragraphs in times of ideas , so you might include the same volume of the ideas in the reasons equal to those ideas in the solutions.

Also Find some comments.
It is irrefutable that the problem of ~~people becoming~~ obesity is on ~~the~~ increasing in some countries. There are various reasons for ~~occurrence ofsuch~~This problems , but they can be tackled easily by taking some practical steps. In the following paragraphs I will analyse the causes and solutions to this problem.

Nemoo

Oct 12, 2012

Writing Feedback / Apartment Vs House; depends on individual financial status and areas of comfort [2]

It does not matter whether people live in large cities of small towns, the question of "is it more convenient to live in apartment or house? " is still one of the most popular questions.

In this essay we will discuss some of the advantages for each case.

Living in apartment undoubtedly has a lot of advantages. First of all, it is cheaper to rent or buy an apartment than a house. Secondly, cleaning and maintaining apartment is not the matter that people might worry about, due to their limited sizes. For instant, apartments have no staircase which being a hard job to be cleaned regularly. Thirdly, Living in apartment is much more secure, where people find more neighbours are closer to help in case of emergency. In addition, people might permit their children to play in the compound play garden with other neighbor's children, while the door garden is securing the place.

On the other hand, living in a house has its own advantages, in particular for wealthier people. To start with the more privacy that people enjoy when living in houses, because of their isolation from near inhabitants. Moreover, living in houses gives people more rooms for especial activity such as, setting their physical fitness room, arrange especial room for music and dancing also in some cases for people with more religious interests, they can prepare a separate room to perform some prayers or rituals activities. Furthermore, living in house gives some people with planting hobby the ability to practice and enjoy planting in their leisure time.

In conclusion, Living in either apartment or house depends on individual financial status and areas of comforts. To my point of view living in apartment has much greater benefits at least it reduce some of the financial stresses in today's life.