Undergraduate / College Essay A: Adam Savage impacted my life [4]

I'd appreciate feedback on errors, revising, and anything else i can do to improve my essay A. Thanks.

Prompt: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact in your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

Looking for a needle in a haystack? Good luck. This well known idiom describes a very difficult if not impossible search. Almost a decade ago, on the television show Mythbusters, co-hosts Adam Savage and Jamie Heineman took up the challenge of using modern technology to render the "needle in the haystack' adage meaningless. Each of the hosts constructed a machine they hoped would sift through hay, pulling out the hidden needles along the way. In the show, Savage demonstrated a cyclic progression of ingenuity, open mindedness, and failure as a mode of exploration, going on to win the competition in just over 6 hours. Adam Savage and his role on Mythbusters propelled my interests towards science and inspired me with the same inclinations I had towards analytical thinking and problem solving.

It was Wednesday at 8pm. I had been waiting for this all week. It had become a tradition of mine. I tuned to the Discovery Channel and prepared for a solid hour of "myth-busting mayhem". At a young age I was already naturally inclined towards analytical thinking and problem solving, although I called it being inventive. I watched Mythbusters every week and noticed something. Adam Savage seemed to have the same inclinations. He took apart a problem like finding a needle in a haystack and looked at it one step at a time, never being afraid to make mistakes and start over until the problem was solved. It's a sentiment that only seems to grow more true as I grow older. He taught me to never give up, and instead to problem solve, and learn from my mistakes. I related strongly to these ideas and took them to heart. Everyday brings a new set of challenges in my work, my studies, and my personal life that I now greet with determination and aptitude.

Savage propelled my interest in science every episode and helped to put me on the path I am today. When asked about when his interest in science began, he answered "I have always had a penchant for taking things apart. It started as a way to look for cool things to build with, but if you take enough things apart, you start to understand how they work and how to put them back together." This curiosity of his influenced me in more ways than I could imagine. It led me to the exploration of my own mind and how to problem solve. Growing up, his role encouraged me to take things apart and make new things with them. This discovery, of learning how things work, and enjoyment of the process meant so much. I was interested in many things at that point. If you were to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wouldn't have an answer. Then Adam Savage helped me realize how much I liked science and problem solving. This realization is exactly why I have chosen to pursue a degree in the engineering today.

For a time, figuring out what I was most intrigued by was like finding a needle in a haystack. Adam Savage proved that it was not impossible, it just takes a little time. I related to Adam Savage, and his influence on my childhood became more profound than I ever thought it would. He pointed me in the right direction, and I found the needle in the haystack.

Undergraduate / Raising Scores at What Cost: UT essay B - Review [4]

PLEASE PLEASE leave comments and critique, I have limited time before i have to submit this. Deadline is DEC 1st for UT. Thank you.
This is about the ill effects high stakes standardized tests have had on my education and the education of my generation.

Prompt: Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Mine and countless other student's experiences in public school have been centered around learning to make decisions when given a problem designed to have exactly one correct solution. Over the past decade standardized testing has risen exponentially thanks to the No Child Left Behind Act and it's successor Race To The Top. The laws mandate that test results be used as a measure of accountability to rate the success of public schools. Federal funds are then distributed based on those ratings with high performing schools getting increases and low performing schools being penalized with cuts. The battle for federal funding results in a strong focus on state standards at the cost of a broad curriculum and a well rounded education. In my home state, Texas, I took the high-stakes Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) every year from the third through the eleventh grade. Raising standards is a good thing, however as a student who has participated in the system of high-stakes testing, it is clear that while the system is slowly succeeding in raising scores, it is failing to prepare my generation for their own future and the future of society.

In my sophomore year pre-calculus class, following a first semester of trigonometry, the second semester comprised a lengthy and unengaging review of rudimentary algebra. For four months, I worked superficial problems on worksheets almost every class day. These depth-less problems were given to my class as preparation for the TAKS. This pattern of learning new material the first semester and reviewing for the TAKS the second semester happened in at least one class every year. In English we would read passages from old TAKS tests to practice short answer response questions and discuss strategies for test taking. The teachers did not seem to want it this way, however it was just the way things worked.

With my education revolving around an increasingly narrowing curriculum focused on a high-stakes test, I began thinking about what skills and values were not on the test. Creativity, discovery, curiosity, integrity, and critical thinking are just a few of the skills and values that the test does not measure, but that are important to a meaningful and prosperous future. Instilling these traits into students goes hand in hand with the academic goals of education, yet today there is no time for them in the test centered curriculum. There is hardly any time left to discuss current events, complex real world issues, or take a look at the people making a difference in the community and the world. There is little time at all for complex higher level thinking.

My school experiences were largely based on the idea that there is one correct solution to every problem. My generation has had this idea drilled into them since the third grade. As a society we must recognize this is not how to effectively educate future generations to prepare them to face the uncertain futures ahead of them. Our education system must move in the total opposite direction of standardization, starting with politicians and bureaucrats realizing that they can't simply make an education system based in the era of the Industrial Revolution work in the 21st century. In reality there is almost always more than one correct solution to any given problem. Doing away with excessive standardization and embracing the diversity of every generation is something I will always advocate for. For now by simply raising awareness, in the future by voting and voicing my opinions to those I elect to represent my community, my state, and my country.