dancer1995
Oct 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I hated her' Indicate a person who has had significance on you and describe [2]
Please help me edit this! Thank you.
Common App Essay- In 250-500 words, indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
My first year dancing in her prestigious ballet company, I hated Marybeth **** (last name). I hated her when she made a weak, male company member lift me in rehearsal, and I hated her when the boy dropped me, fracturing my ankle. I hated her when she berated me for gaining weight and not being able to fit into my Nutcracker costume. And I especially hated her for telling me the words I would never forget, "You do not work hard enough."
However, everything I hated her for that first year grew into the reasons I succeeded my next three years of being in the company. Being a dancer in Marybeth's company, I sometimes wanted to quit. The rehearsals were long and exhausting, and performance opportunities were rare. My ankle injury gave me six weeks of not being able to walk, much less the ability to dance. Those weeks of sitting on the sideline proved to me why I could not quit dance. Watching the company perform without me was aggravating; I needed to be part of that again. Even though dance had its hardships, I learned that I loved what it felt like to be on stage performing.
Marybeth's comments about my weight were certainly harsh, but I knew I needed to fit into the costume to be able to perform. Two months later, I lost ten pounds and my costume finally fit perfectly. Marybeth never apologized for her weight comments and she never voiced her approval of my new body shape, but I knew that I had refuted the comments.
The remark Marybeth gave me about my work ethic was the worst insult I ever received. I thought I had a great work ethic; I already had worked hard enough to even make it into the ballet company. What more could I possibly do? I started coming to rehearsals over an hour early to stretch and work on my technique. I even signed up to be an assistant dance teacher, coming to the studio early every weekend morning to teach toddlers ballet. To this day, I still do everything I can to prove Marybeth wrong about my lack of a work ethic. It certainly has not been an easy task and these four years certainly have not been an easy journey, but Marybeth has forced me to change myself. (help me end it?)
Please help me edit this! Thank you.
Common App Essay- In 250-500 words, indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
My first year dancing in her prestigious ballet company, I hated Marybeth **** (last name). I hated her when she made a weak, male company member lift me in rehearsal, and I hated her when the boy dropped me, fracturing my ankle. I hated her when she berated me for gaining weight and not being able to fit into my Nutcracker costume. And I especially hated her for telling me the words I would never forget, "You do not work hard enough."
However, everything I hated her for that first year grew into the reasons I succeeded my next three years of being in the company. Being a dancer in Marybeth's company, I sometimes wanted to quit. The rehearsals were long and exhausting, and performance opportunities were rare. My ankle injury gave me six weeks of not being able to walk, much less the ability to dance. Those weeks of sitting on the sideline proved to me why I could not quit dance. Watching the company perform without me was aggravating; I needed to be part of that again. Even though dance had its hardships, I learned that I loved what it felt like to be on stage performing.
Marybeth's comments about my weight were certainly harsh, but I knew I needed to fit into the costume to be able to perform. Two months later, I lost ten pounds and my costume finally fit perfectly. Marybeth never apologized for her weight comments and she never voiced her approval of my new body shape, but I knew that I had refuted the comments.
The remark Marybeth gave me about my work ethic was the worst insult I ever received. I thought I had a great work ethic; I already had worked hard enough to even make it into the ballet company. What more could I possibly do? I started coming to rehearsals over an hour early to stretch and work on my technique. I even signed up to be an assistant dance teacher, coming to the studio early every weekend morning to teach toddlers ballet. To this day, I still do everything I can to prove Marybeth wrong about my lack of a work ethic. It certainly has not been an easy task and these four years certainly have not been an easy journey, but Marybeth has forced me to change myself. (help me end it?)