Undergraduate / "Let's get going now" - UF experience, risk, event [3]

OK I NEED HELP! IF SOMEONE CAN READ THIS AND LET ME KNOW IF ITS GOOD ENOUGH TO APPLY TO UF!
im not a strong writer, and im a procastinator leaving stuff for the last minute but plz if someon can spend 10minutes on this sigh ! i would really appreciate ur help

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

"Let's get going now", said my mom as I stood outside my house starring at the bright moon. Couldn't believe it was about time to leave. My heart started racing as time got closer for our departure to USA. Was I ready to leave? Would I be able to adopt the environment? What would students think of me when I go to their school? Will they like or hate me? Thousands of questions arose and I felt nervous, maybe kind of scared as well, but I knew I had to do this, for my parents and make them proud because failure was never an option for me and never would be.

"The plane is about to land..."whispered my sister as I woke up. It was about time, just a few more minutes and I will step in an unknown place where I had to start over. It did not sound fun, it was more like if I had restarted a game and had to get my level up using my skills.

"Wake up!! Do you want to miss your first day of school?" yelled my mom from the kitchen. A month just flew unpacking and it was already time for school. I was excited but the first day of my 8th grade didn't go so well. People laughed at the way I dressed, my way of talking since my English wasn't so good, the way I looked, my hair, my book bag and even got bullied a little. I had no confidence which is always a necessary ingredient for an individual to survive.

"Sigh", hard work I put in studying finally paid off. I graduated 8th grade with at least an 80+ avg. in my finals. School system was way different than I was used to but I managed to adopt it in a while. Things stayed the same in 9th grade as well besides the fact, people actually knew my name as I made to the principle list but they had no idea who I was. I felt alone. I just wanted to cry. I wanted to tell my mom but we were already struggling financially, I didn't want to add more problems so I stayed quiet hoping things would get better.

Things did get better. It was a new and a confident me. I stood up for myself. I didn't let what people said bother me. 10th grade was completely different. I made a few friends and at the same time, participated in many extra-curricular activities. I absolutely loved being friends with the new students; guided them so they don't have to go through what I did. Soon I was known, since I was involved in school a lot.

Facing obstacles, I always kept one thing in mind, "Never give up", which I shall continue to do in University of Florida as well as engaging myself in becoming an important part of UF family.

Undergraduate / 'Anxious to start taking classes after moving to USA' - COLLEGE ESSAY [4]

i wrote another essay. please read it and tell me if its good. if any corrections or any changes you want me to make, do let me know.

PLEASE HELP THANK YOU !!

I had no clue, how such a small event of my childhood would end up building my interest in engineering. Once while traveling, our car broke down in the middle of the road and you could literally see smoke coming out of it. I was scared but then I saw my dad fix it just in a couple of minutes. He used tools that I had never seen before, which caught my attention. I was amused by every single thing I saw inside a cars bonnet. I wondered how was my dad even able to recognize what was wrong with the car in between those big pieces of metal. From then on, whenever one of my toys broke, I would sit on the couch and take it apart instead of throwing it out. I sometimes sat for hours, marveling at how the toy worked and was designed and how it can be improved. By looking at different toys, I observed how the same idea can be interpreted and executed differently by different engineers.

As I grew older, I pursued my interest in cars, looking at different engines and even taking some apart. I would often ask my father why some components are designed differently, and we would talk for hours about the function of the different components. After these debates, I would often be left with the smile on my face.

After moving to USA, I was very anxious to start taking classes at my new school because the school system here was extremely different than I used to be in. 9th grade was my first year in USA, in which I encountered many problems like fitting in. People laughed at the way I dressed, my way of talking, the way I looked, my hair and even got bullied. This brought me down but I never gave up. Giving up was never an option for me so I continued to work hard which paid off as months passed. By 10th grade, I had an avg. of 85+ and was taking part in several extra-curricular activities.

That wasn't all the problems I faced, my inspiration, the person I looked up to, my dad decided to go back to our country and leave us. I broke down, and stayed like that for a few months until I realized I wouldn't let anything stop me from achieving my goal, I stood back on my feet and continued to work hard. My dad being there for me as a child gave me my inspiration, and from his leaving I gained more confidence and qualities of a leader.

Facing obstacles in life, I always kept one thing in mind, "Never give up", which I shall continue to do in University of Florida as well as engaging myself in becoming an important part of UF family.

Undergraduate / My painting performance - applying to college [2]

RIGHT now im applying to colleges so i need help with my essay, please be as harsh as you can but i need i really need help.

Q. Discuss your activities during the last several years (for example; school organizations, the arts, individual interests and etc)

Since my childhood I have always looked forward to attending school. My desire to gain knowledge was, of course, the priority, but extracurricular classes fascinated me the most. I had always been a sports freak, in middle school I was the captain of the basketball team and outside of school I usually played badminton and cricket. Going to high school in NY was a thrill. Everything was different but as soon as I felt comfortable with the environment, I decided to join soccer; a new sport that I happened to love it.

Painting; it is more than just a hobby, it is my identity. I started to paint as it was an activity that could be confined four walls of a room. However, every time I paint, my eyes are opened to a new perspective of the world. As I delve into various subjects pertaining to the world, I recognize that I am missing out on being a part of it. In the past couple of years painting improved my patience, perseverance, and strives for perfection; but above all it led me to think with an open mind.

Writing has been a difficult task for me. I mean in four years of moving to United States, how well can a person actually write? But sometimes obstacles in life makes a person learn new things about themselves, just like I did. Junior Year in High School, my dad decided to move back to our country leaving me and my family behind. I went in depression but at the same time I developed my extreme interest in writing poems. I often found myself writing short poems about things I found amusing around me. Slowly my poems started taking shape into a new interest of writing songs. After I had a few songs written, it led my interest of learning an instrument; I decided piano that I happened to learn quite fast.

Sophomore year was when I started to become familiar with volunteer work. It was my math teacher Mr. Sullivan, who asked me to help him peer tutor his students after school. From that day on, I took my first steps as a peer tutor in other subjects like Science, Social Studies and even Art. I started as a small volunteer in school, but in the middle of junior year I began to work as a volunteer for Rockland Family Shelter. My job was to look after kids and plays games or creative activities together. I initially decided children are my area of interest when choosing this volunteer work because I love children and always take pleasure spending time with them.

Being new to United States, I tried my best to keep myself involved in and outside of school and will never forget the obstacles I had to overcome to reach my goal. I know that this passion of mine as a volunteer and sports will continue to grow as I go to Penn State and will push me to play intramurals.