Writing Feedback / 'You helped America' - Patriots Pen-TELL MY FOUNDING FATHERS [9]

I would try to combine several sentences that are in your second paragraph as well as in your third paragraph. There were a couple of short sentences that kind of interrupted my flow of reading and I see that some would go great if combined into one sentence.

Writing Feedback / 'spacious and desirable' - Apartment is better than a house [2]

I agree with the suggestions the prior contributor suggested, as well as I would advise for you to re-read your essay carefully as there are several grammar errors, very minor, that affect the flow of your essay. Other than that its a fairly good one.