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Posts by shl348
Joined: Oct 31, 2012
Last Post: Nov 3, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: United States of America

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shl348   
Oct 31, 2012
Undergraduate / Extracurricular Short Answer on being a chinese school teaching assistant [2]

Maybe try starting the essay with a clear description of TA-ing a class.. "I had such fond memories there that I wanted give back by helping the students." - inconsistent with the first part of the essay. You could cut the whole first part out and replace it with a specific incident.
shl348   
Nov 3, 2012
Undergraduate / Common App extracurricular essay - hospital volunteer [2]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

Every Sunday, I can be found in the halls of ______ Hospital. What had started as a means of gaining insight into the medical world became one of the most meaningful experiences I have had in high school. I volunteer in the transport department, completing tasks such as running samples to the lab or discharging patients. From the pristine silence of the maternity ward to the hectic buzz in the emergency room, each unit has its own characteristics, yet the entire hospital functions just as effectively as one unit. It has become clear to me that the human interactions among the individuals in the hospital are what allows for the smooth running of the hospital. With every "thank you" from the patients or staff, I have learned how valuable the smallest contributions are. I have grown comfortable with chatting with the patients and accepting the silence that is often necessary. Over the years, I have become fully immersed in a large community and ready to immerse myself into many others.

Any feedback would be great! Right now it's at 999 characters.
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