Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Nam12lehoan
Joined: Nov 15, 2012
Last Post: Nov 16, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 3
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
Nam12lehoan   
Nov 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / Ielts:60% of freshmen alter their major subject in the second year of university [6]

Opinions are divided on whether high school students should continue to attend higher education or have one year off to work to get experienced. In my opinion, students had better go to university. There are several seasons to support my point of view.

Firstly, universities are good places for students to attain goals. That means they will know exactly what their dream job is. It is undeniable that at the age of 18, students are not mature enough to decide suitable subjects. Therefore, it is colleges that can provide them with a golden opportunity to find out their best one, and help nurture their ability. Because schools offer a variety of subjects, pupils can choose the disciplines that they are specialized in. According to a recent survey, more than 60 percent of freshmen alter their major subject in the second year of university.

Secondly, attending university help students to broaden their relationships, especially with excellent classmates as well as professors. In elite colleges, there are hundreds of talented people, which equips them with a chance to get a good job in the future. For instance, with the help of peer colleagues who are the employers of big companies or a good recommendation letter from their supervisors, students are guaranteed to have advantages over counterpart candidates to get a high salary occupation.

Defenders of the work experience that students can obtain point out that it is not too late for students to continue learning after one year. This may be true. However, I argue that hardly can they have passion to learn when they are working. In addition, the interval of the working period may make their knowledge of subject fade and as a result, it is quite difficult for them to catch up with the new information.

In conclusion, from the reasons above, I believe that continuing to attend further education is completely proper choice
Wordcount: 315
Nam12lehoan   
Nov 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / Education is undeniably the driving force in every country's evolution. [6]

evolution is uncountable noun, do not use it with every
instructing--> instruction
due to various reasons--> "due to seems suitable in negative reasons, instead you can use because of / owning to
freedom for--> freedom of
a thorough specialized knowledge--> not a
For instance I used to be taught by a mathematics teacher who graduated from a prestigious university. However, he invariably stuck to the textbooks, had few interactions with students and gave stacks of homework day after day. His soporific tone of voice made everyone exhausted. Surprisingly, he was deemed the most excellent teacher that year

That is all I can comment on your essay, In general, It is quite good and likely to get high score in Ielts exam.
Good luck and look forward to checking my essay in return.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳