Undergraduate / 'born into a low-income family' - UC first promt your world [15]

Hey, I don't know if this is good and Im afraid to ask friends. Give any feedback, criticize me as much as possible, it will be appreciated.

1. Describe the world you come from for example, your family, community or school and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

"World" such a versatile term, it has so many different meanings, but what does it mean to me? What has my "world" done to make me who I am? My world has changed throughout the 17 years of my life, bringing many hardships with it but I truly believe that everything that happened in it was for a purpose and it has shaped who I became today. I was born as the second child into a low-income family. I grew up watching my family struggle with money problems but somehow get through with life.

My father came to this country to see me being born, he told me his world changed when he first laid his eyes upon me, and he told me that he was given a second chance to take on this world that we live in because he had me, his "special" son. "Special" the word I was given by my father to describe me, it's the same word I use to describe my world. One day my father came home from work, tired like usual, and told me "son enjoy life now, and study hard so you don't end up like me". His words stayed with me forever, later I understood what he meant because I had found out from my mother that he had the chance to get an education but refused and he regrets it every day. Watching my father live in misery every day had a huge impact to my world, and it is the sole reason for my burning passion for the only aspiration I have in life, to get the highest education I can acquire, all to make my father happy when he sees his son become successful.

However being born into a low-income family is not the best when you want to become a top student. Through 12 years of my life my family was considered low-class until becoming middle-class. All of my teachers told my parents that I had the potential to be brilliant, but I didn't have the materials I needed to tap into that potential and when I finally did, I deemed it too late because I was in high school. I lost all motivation until I met my friends today who sparked my passion to work hard once more.

Throughout my years in this world, I've had many difficulties that blocked my path to achieve my goal, like my parents almost separating, I had to overcome all these struggles and still work my hardest to achieve my goal whom my father strongly believes I can. The problems may have affected me and had an effect on my grades but they have made me a stronger person, I am now determined more than I ever was before, I personally believe nothing will stop me. The world I come from is beautiful, it has made me, it's done everything to me, it's been in my past, and it is in my future. My world, I want it to be the best I can possibly make it.

Alright, that's it thanks! also it is 508 words, so if you find any unnecessary words please report it! Thank you again.

Undergraduate / UC personal; accomplishment - I had fallen in love with martial arts; "ce kong fan" [6]

Hey I would like to know if I answered the prompt correctly and if my story is well, also if you find grammatical errors please let me know also! Revisions also greatly appreciated. You can criticize me as much as possible.

Prompt: "Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"

I always had a mindset that if you weren't good at a skill then you shouldn't attempt to do it until one day during November 2009. I was 14 at the time, I had fallen in love with martial arts and I self-taught myself some forms of the art during the summer, I thought I finally had found a talent. One day I asked my uncle, who studied changquan and taijiquan, if he would teach me what he knew so I could too be as skilled as him in those 2 martial arts forms, he gladly accepted to be my teacher.

I had thought that martial arts were my talent but I soon found out I was very wrong. My uncle would scold me every day during practice; I was doing all the moves incorrectly. He had told me that I was his worst student and that my cousin was a far better student than I am. I was just about to give up until I had remembered what my father told me, "Anything is possible if you have enough power and determination". I know I had power and determination and I began to work harder and study the martial art forms I was so passionate about.

My uncle very quickly had seen my changes during the training sessions and was amazed at how well I had become. He was so amazed that he had set up a match against me and my cousin who had also been practicing these same martial arts, but for two years while I only had one month. I knew that even though my cousin had more experience than me, I could still win the match.

Finally the day of the match had come, I was unsure if I was going to win. I ran up and did a "ce kong fan", which is an aerial cartwheel, my cousin was surprised seeing this because it was a move he still had not mastered even after practicing for 11 months more than I did. Finally our uncle had begun the first round, my cousin took position, I took mine, he quickly attempted a strike at me but I deflected it and gave him 3 quick shots to the body, he stumbled back and without any hesitation I quickly knew what to do next almost like instinct, I ran to him then jumped off his chest and hit him with a finishing move I had learned in my last practice. The whole match lasted only about 40 seconds.

I am very proud of that day and my whole experience leading up to it because it had taught me a very important lesson; any skill can be improved with enough work, passion, and motivation. I also learned to never give up because there is nothing to gain from it. I now try to improve any skill I find myself lacking in because I have proof from this experience that it is possible to do. I feel that because of this experience I am now a harder working person, ready for anything that comes into my way.