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Posts by pguz [Suspended]
Joined: Nov 22, 2012
Last Post: Nov 23, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: United States of America

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pguz   
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / Columbia Supplement Question 1. "Popularity and acceptance" [2]

Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications or cultural events.
Popularity and acceptance. I feel that those two words perfectly describe the goals of my first three lackluster years of high school. Years that involved erasing true colors, and putting on a mask that displayed a feigned interest for football and Lil Wayne. But of all the months of trying to "act hard", I never seemed to assimilate into the elite group of jocks and cheerleaders. Instead, my obsession to climb the echelon of high school social hierarchy further isolated me from the popular cliques, and led me to lose true friendships. Chris Crutcher's "Athletic Shorts", tells the overstated message of to "be true to yourself". Though I heard this multiple times from my teachers, it obviously took me a while to fully understand the old saying. After reading, I came to the realization that my quest to become a "cool kid" was downright stupid. I didn't have to be admitted into a coterie obsessed with looks and gossip to find true happiness, I just had to accept who I was. So I embraced my passion for the paintings of John Singleton Copley, and ceased paying attention to Twitter. Once again, I sang along to soundtrack of the Phantom of the Opera and The Book of Mormon, and stopped memorizing lyrics of songs from a pop culture that endorses drug use and adultery. The novel shined a light on a much needed truth of my high school journey, a truth that helped me forge new friendships and gain back old ones. It was a truth that gave me acceptance and the gift of true happiness.
pguz   
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I call her Wonder woman' - someone who has made an impact on your life [4]

I love the first two sentences. I think it perfectly opens up an essay that gives you an oppurtunity to fully describe your grandmother's impact on your life in a truly heartfelt and genuine way. I also like the subject matter because I believe it has the potential to pull on the heartstrings of the college admission officers. However, I think you could polish up the last paragraph, specifically the last sentence.

"The characteristics that my grandmother has are also mine because I want to continue to better others in different ways as well as fulfill my life with happiness no matter the situation."

My opinion counts for nothing, but I think that the final sentence of an admissions essay should be the strongest one on the paper. I think you could a better job finalizing your thoughts in a concise statement that will leave a great final impression on the respective college admission officer.

I also noticed that you wondering if you were focusing too much on your grandmother. In my opinion, you are on the right track in adressing the prompt. In my opinion, there is an equal balance of personal anecdotes and examples your grandmother's impact on your life.

Good Luck!
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