Undergraduate / Fright of the unknown took over me; Admission Essay [5]

It sounds really good overall but there's a few minor things that could be improved. Your second sentence is worded a bit confusingly. Were you home schooled instead? It would be good to clarify this. Also the phrase, ". . . which I now recognize, provided me with resources that would prepare for a successful future" is a bit unclear if it is the home schooling or the public schooling which provided resources that would prepare for a successful career. I know what you mean, but it will sound smoother if you can word it more clearly.

I wouldn't use a comma in these two sentences unless you reword it:
"Never before had I been placed in an environment, where I was unaware of whom my peers were."
"My worst nightmares became a reality, once my father decided that it would be best for him to immigrate to the United States in search of a job opportunity."

In this sentence: "I knew that the person returning to this environment was no longer that same girl, whose happiness relied on owning the latest technological devices, or using expensive clothing" it might be better to say "wearing expensive clothing." Also consider either rewording it slightly or removing one or both of the commas.

Have a separate paragraph for the conclusion, just so it's clear to them you understand the basic essay structure

Hope this helped