Shamri
Dec 25, 2012
Undergraduate / Why did i cry ? ; Significant reality/What Matters Most [5]
The only rational action was to resume my sleep, yet I chose to prioritize God's demand for spiritual commitment over my desire for physical comfort. Nevertheless, I came to regret that decision when I entered the Sacred Mosque. Millions of Muslims were ready to submit themselves to God through the Subh prayer, especially those who stationed themselves in close proximity with Kaabah. Frantically searching for a space to fulfill my spiritual obligation, i realized the futility of my desire to pray in front of the Noble Cube. In that exasperating moment, I committed what most could call an irrational act - I hoped for a miracle.
I saw no sign of divine intervention to aid me in my endeavor and as I began to retreat, a fellow Muslim grabbed me by the shoulder and placed me next to his side. While the Imam led the Subh prayer, tears of joy and sorrow rolled down my cheek with each Koranic verse recited by him. Sadness for the mistakes I had done and happiness for realizing them before it was too late. After the prayer, the person who helped me hugged me and murmured several Arabic words. I did not know what he was saying but I did know that he was consoling me. The comfort and solace he provided made me cry again.
Being alive was the most significant reality of my life because it meant and defined my existence. With that narcissistic mentality, I became engrossed with the notion of being a self-made man. More than engrossed: obsessed. I even took Machiavellian approaches in life exploiting other people to further my own interest while alienating myself from social affiliations to prevent dependency. But the tears healed me.
Why did i cry ? I did not cry because of God's benevolence nor did I cry because of the random act of kindness. I cried because I came to realize that I should not be and was never alone. Now, I am sure the companionship life offers matters most.
The only rational action was to resume my sleep, yet I chose to prioritize God's demand for spiritual commitment over my desire for physical comfort. Nevertheless, I came to regret that decision when I entered the Sacred Mosque. Millions of Muslims were ready to submit themselves to God through the Subh prayer, especially those who stationed themselves in close proximity with Kaabah. Frantically searching for a space to fulfill my spiritual obligation, i realized the futility of my desire to pray in front of the Noble Cube. In that exasperating moment, I committed what most could call an irrational act - I hoped for a miracle.
I saw no sign of divine intervention to aid me in my endeavor and as I began to retreat, a fellow Muslim grabbed me by the shoulder and placed me next to his side. While the Imam led the Subh prayer, tears of joy and sorrow rolled down my cheek with each Koranic verse recited by him. Sadness for the mistakes I had done and happiness for realizing them before it was too late. After the prayer, the person who helped me hugged me and murmured several Arabic words. I did not know what he was saying but I did know that he was consoling me. The comfort and solace he provided made me cry again.
Being alive was the most significant reality of my life because it meant and defined my existence. With that narcissistic mentality, I became engrossed with the notion of being a self-made man. More than engrossed: obsessed. I even took Machiavellian approaches in life exploiting other people to further my own interest while alienating myself from social affiliations to prevent dependency. But the tears healed me.
Why did i cry ? I did not cry because of God's benevolence nor did I cry because of the random act of kindness. I cried because I came to realize that I should not be and was never alone. Now, I am sure the companionship life offers matters most.