ButterflyDDS
Jan 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / LIVE WITHOUT FEAR; Camp Rising Sun App / HONOR & BETTER WORLD [17]
I would be very happy if some people would look at the grammar and spelling. Since English isn't my native language there is bound to be some mistakes :*)
Essay Question:
Imagine that when you are an adult you will be honored for making the world a better place. Based on what is important to you now, what do you think you will have done to receive that honor?
If I, when I am an adult, will be honored for making the world a better place, it will not be because I have solved a huge, global problem such as poverty or starvation. That takes more than just one person, it takes many governments and devoted persons. I think I will have been honored for leading a team of scientist who has played a crucial role in the tracking, finding, and as a result there of, arrest, of Joseph Kony.
I want everybody to be happy. It may sound childish and it is an unrealistic thing to wish for. Although I do my best: I listen to my friends and give them advice when they have problems, I am their crying shoulder when they are sad and I am their own personal jester when they need a laugh.
Therefore when I watched the video Kony 2012 by the foundation "Invisible Children", it touched something deep inside me. I felt sorry for these children, that they lived in fear every day and that they had for years without me knowing.
When saw a TV-program about the robot Curiosity, when it landed on Mars, I realized that I wanted to do something like that. I wanted to build and program machines and send them into space. I have always loved technology, gadgets and computers, and then I found out I could work with it. It was a job made for me.
I think that I, with a team of top software and electrical engineers, will have build an advanced satellite, that will have tracked Kony and therefore lead to his arrest, as the soldiers looking for him will finally now where to find him.
All the children he has abducted can return home and people can return to their villages and stop living a life filled with fear for him and his rebel army.
I will not exactly have made the whole world a better place, but in order to do that, you have to start small, and with Kony out of the picture, you will be able to focus on other important problems and solve them gradually. Then, slowly, the world will become a better place.
I would be very happy if some people would look at the grammar and spelling. Since English isn't my native language there is bound to be some mistakes :*)
Essay Question:
Imagine that when you are an adult you will be honored for making the world a better place. Based on what is important to you now, what do you think you will have done to receive that honor?
If I, when I am an adult, will be honored for making the world a better place, it will not be because I have solved a huge, global problem such as poverty or starvation. That takes more than just one person, it takes many governments and devoted persons. I think I will have been honored for leading a team of scientist who has played a crucial role in the tracking, finding, and as a result there of, arrest, of Joseph Kony.
I want everybody to be happy. It may sound childish and it is an unrealistic thing to wish for. Although I do my best: I listen to my friends and give them advice when they have problems, I am their crying shoulder when they are sad and I am their own personal jester when they need a laugh.
Therefore when I watched the video Kony 2012 by the foundation "Invisible Children", it touched something deep inside me. I felt sorry for these children, that they lived in fear every day and that they had for years without me knowing.
When saw a TV-program about the robot Curiosity, when it landed on Mars, I realized that I wanted to do something like that. I wanted to build and program machines and send them into space. I have always loved technology, gadgets and computers, and then I found out I could work with it. It was a job made for me.
I think that I, with a team of top software and electrical engineers, will have build an advanced satellite, that will have tracked Kony and therefore lead to his arrest, as the soldiers looking for him will finally now where to find him.
All the children he has abducted can return home and people can return to their villages and stop living a life filled with fear for him and his rebel army.
I will not exactly have made the whole world a better place, but in order to do that, you have to start small, and with Kony out of the picture, you will be able to focus on other important problems and solve them gradually. Then, slowly, the world will become a better place.