Undergraduate / My life overflows with people that influence me; Common APP- TOPIC of your choice [7]

Thank You! I understand what your saying. I just have absolutely no idea what to write about and when I start writing something it sounds lame. but again thanks.

Undergraduate / My life overflows with people that influence me; Common APP- TOPIC of your choice [7]

I erased this one and wrote and finished a different since, I really like it and its very personal to me. I think I found a way to be honest and straightforward with out sound bored and sarcastic haha. Thanks for your input. I would love if you would check my new one out. Its under MY OWN PLANET. WRITING AWAY. COMMON APPLICATION. TOPIC OF YOU CHOICE. THOUGHTS?? It should be on the main page as newest posts. thanks again

Undergraduate / Why you, Why me Beloit app essay [4]

I think it would definitely improve it and make it flow a bit better. Put it in and try. Also I find that reading my essays outloud multiple time really help. Weirdly though I also try and speak I different ways so I can hear how it would sound to others.

Undergraduate / My life overflows with people that influence me; Common APP- TOPIC of your choice [7]

I have deleted this one and completely rewritten it. I don't know what exactly I was thinking with this one haha. But I would love you went and checked out my new one. It should be on the newest thread page or I think right below this comment in small writing:)

Undergraduate / PLANET OF MY OWN; WRITING AWAY; COMMON APPLICATION; TOPIC OF YOUR CHOICE. [9]

Thanks! It does help a lot, I need other peoples opinions because I write in my own style and usually can't see that it wont make sense to others completely haha :) I wrote "Endless sentences wrap the sky.." and then "Endless are the words and endless is my world." because I thought it flowed and showed the idea that my "imaginary world" has no boundaries or ends just like the continuance sentence in the sky. should I use synonym? and maybe get rid of the extra endless at the very end, apparently its my favorite word :) Thanks again

Undergraduate / PLANET OF MY OWN; WRITING AWAY; COMMON APPLICATION; TOPIC OF YOUR CHOICE. [9]

Thank you all for your input, I see what you are all saying, and I have re-edited my essay. I wrote more also, on the subject that lexylui1209 approached on what I've learned from writing and how it as affected me. I am sending this in tonight so your opinions would be complete lifesavers.

NEW VERSION:

When I write, this world we call earth is no longer my home. I beam past our solar system, through and through the universe onto my own planet where only my creations and I can survive.

The planets' sky is words. Endless sentences wrap the sky as if you were inside a snow globe with every great writers words scribbled on the glass. There is no sun for my planet, the words above are like stars they light themselves and so light my planet. Yet the shadows on the ground are my own words. The breeze tickling my cheek is like brail, I can feel the words that it wants to say. I need neither pen nor paper in my world. I need nothing but my imagination.

My "planet" has no boundaries or ends, just like the ceaseless sentence in the sky, so it holds other universes, worlds, cities, places, and people all of which I have created. Contrary to real life, time and distance have no control. I can be in a lovely little city where trees are white as snow with leaves the brightest gold, and with streets made of sapphire pebbles, and a moment later I am on flat, lifeless trek of land where red rocks litter the ground, isolating and emphasizing the one lone silver arrow stuck in the ground shimmering against the burning glare of light created by my literary sky. Endless are the words and thus endless is my world. The places are infinitely changeable. There is no point of exhaustion for them. There is not a "No way out" or "One Way" sign. Their possibilities are limitless, ever expanding, and evolving.

I shaped my planet into what its today, and yet my "planet" shaped me into what I am today. Having this place has helped me become a entirely different person than I would have been had I not. Its an outlet for my creativity, annoyance, sadness, and every other feeling that I have. I need never to be ridden with anger, sadness, annoyance, or become overwhelmed for more time than It takes to mentally transport my self there. It is a place where my mind is challenged, and where I can grow inwardly.

I have been told multiple times that I have an old soul, and eyes that have seen their fare share and I believe I can truthfully say it is because I write. My writing has taught me lesson that I would not have learned this early in life if I did not write. I will never be a student in the 18th century, I will never be 17 and on the run after being falsely accused of committing genocide, and I will never be able to do half the things my characters have and yet I have mentally experienced these things. I have had to feel the pain, loss, love, and happiness that my characters went through in order to write it. Writing taught me how to present details, its has made me confident in myself and that has enabled me to speak in public with ease, stand my ground and have faith in my ethics, answers, and beliefs. I also has taught me that the effort you put into the small details of things are what make the big picture that much more spectacular.

I believe, Writing is the way we mere humans catapult ourselves to being Omni-parent and omniscient. It is an escape and jail at the same time. For, once you taste writing in its truest form you are incapable of anything else. You can never truly stop writing for being a writer is like being a human, you just are.