Writing Feedback / IELTS - Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from the prison. Cause [6]

Dear devabe2005,

Well, your writing is ok. There are some grammar mistakes, but you can sort them out by practising. When introducing an idea try to focus on the reasons why you have chosen it/them in full. Then, you can write down some examples to verify what you have said above. Another important point is the paralelism and verb agreement. You have to pay special attention to the head of the phrase. For example, " the most beautiful girl in my class, who is sitting next to me right now, IS Brenda"

I hope these corrections help you to improve your writings. Cheers!

Giving vocational training and job opportunities after releasing from jail makes them more responsible and (mindful) to avoidsthem to do felonydoing felonies/ any felony

Involve Being involved in them in community service which is a type of humiliation and is a part of educate them [ This statement sounds a bit awkard. I mean, there is no paralelism here " type of humiliation and is a part of educate(?)"

Education and job opportunity ismay bea two main solutions for preventing criminals from re-offending

Drug addicted prisoners should be detoxified and given periodical counseling to relieve from drugs.them of drugs

Writing Feedback / IELTS-Some people think that museums entertain people, while others it is to educate [4]

Hi devabe2005, here are some corrections =). Please, pay attention to some elementary mistakes such as verb agreements.

* Museums helps to know about the history and their sculpture ----------- [ when you generalize, you should pluralise the noun as well as the verb. Take care of that]

Some people think that museum should attract while other believe that it should teach
* Some people think that museumS should attract while other believe that it should teach-------------- [ This sentence is not that bad, but you can use passive voice so that you do not have to repeat words. For example, " it is thought", "it is believed... Pay attention to the word ATTRACT (= ACCORDING TO Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary, 8th edition, ATTRACT MEANS AND COLLOCATES IN THIS WAY...

1 [ usually passive ] if you are attracted by sth, it interests you and makes you want it; if you are attracted by sb, you like or admire them

~ sb I had always been attracted by the idea of working abroad.
~ sb to sb/sth What first attracted me to her was her sense of humour.
2 ~ sb/sth (to sth) to make sb/sth come somewhere or take part in sth
The warm damp air attracts a lot of mosquitoes.
The exhibition has attracted thousands of visitors.

I believe that it should provide both education and entertainment FOR TWO/ THREE MAIN REASON ------ The reasons depend on the number of paragraphs you are going to write.It helps to organize mentally. It can be catchy for the reader.

Providing extra music and lighting effect of the historic monuments attracts many people [ verb agreement]

It is easier to learn about it [= what?] ------------ [ The whole sentence is unintelligible. Maybe, you can say: An easy way to understand the past customs is comparing them with the present ones. You can learn more if you a make description, etc ...]

In additional[ it is an adjective i.e additional tasks]

In additional, different way of expressing the item will be fun. It will be best pass time if it provide interesting way of displaying the items.---[????]

MuseumS helps to learn about ancient culture, customs and ways of life.
ARE able to research on the historical antiques and culture.

People can acquire wisdom by visiting museumVisiting museums contributes to becoming a wiser person, etc

in my opinion,museums should provide both... , which can be a really enoyable experience.