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IELTS-Some people think that museums entertain people, while others it is to educate


devabe2005 46 / 97  
Jan 27, 2013   #1
QUESTION
Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of the museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

ANSWER:

Museum helps to know about the history and their sculpture. Some people think that museum should attract while other believe that it should teach. I believe that it should provide both education and entertainment.

Providing extra music and lighting effect of the historic monuments attracts many people. It is easier to learn about it by giving special description and drama about particular custom helps easily to understand the past customs. In additional, different way of expressing the item will be fun. It will be best pass time if it provide interesting way of displaying the items.

Museum helps to learn about ancient culture, customs and way of life. Scientists and students able to research on the historical antiques and culture. People can acquire wisdom by visiting museum. For student it is more interesting by observing the ancient item than reading in books. People who are involved in numismatics can easily collect more information about the coin from the museum.

To conclude, in my opinion museum providing both education and entertainment to the visitors will be enjoyable than a pass time.

Agustin - / 2 1  
Jan 28, 2013   #2
Hi devabe2005, here are some corrections =). Please, pay attention to some elementary mistakes such as verb agreements.

* Museums helps to know about the history and their sculpture ----------- [ when you generalize, you should pluralise the noun as well as the verb. Take care of that]

Some people think that museum should attract while other believe that it should teach
* Some people think that museumS should attract while other believe that it should teach-------------- [ This sentence is not that bad, but you can use passive voice so that you do not have to repeat words. For example, " it is thought", "it is believed... Pay attention to the word ATTRACT (= ACCORDING TO Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary, 8th edition, ATTRACT MEANS AND COLLOCATES IN THIS WAY...

1 [ usually passive ] if you are attracted by sth, it interests you and makes you want it; if you are attracted by sb, you like or admire them

~ sb I had always been attracted by the idea of working abroad.
~ sb to sb/sth What first attracted me to her was her sense of humour.
2 ~ sb/sth (to sth) to make sb/sth come somewhere or take part in sth
The warm damp air attracts a lot of mosquitoes.
The exhibition has attracted thousands of visitors.


I believe that it should provide both education and entertainment FOR TWO/ THREE MAIN REASON ------ The reasons depend on the number of paragraphs you are going to write.It helps to organize mentally. It can be catchy for the reader.

Providing extra music and lighting effect of the historic monuments attracts many people [ verb agreement]

It is easier to learn about it [= what?] ------------ [ The whole sentence is unintelligible. Maybe, you can say: An easy way to understand the past customs is comparing them with the present ones. You can learn more if you a make description, etc ...]

In additional[ it is an adjective i.e additional tasks]

In additional, different way of expressing the item will be fun. It will be best pass time if it provide interesting way of displaying the items.---[????]

MuseumS helps to learn about ancient culture, customs and ways of life.
ARE able to research on the historical antiques and culture.

People can acquire wisdom by visiting museumVisiting museums contributes to becoming a wiser person, etc

in my opinion,museums should provide both... , which can be a really enoyable experience.
pmw0647 2 / 5 2  
Jan 28, 2013   #3
It is easier to learn about it by giving special description and drama about particular custom helps easily to understand the past customs .

museum enables people to understand the past custom and learn particular custom by giving special description and drama.
I think it is better....
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 31, 2013   #4
First, it seems your essay is two short. Try to maintain at least the minimum word count required for this task. It's important for your score.

Museum helps to know about the history and their sculptureits evolution .

... Art, sculpture, antiquities and everything displayed at museums, reveal facts about history and evolution of that particular society.

Some people think that museum should attract (???) while others believe that it should teach.

Here the appropriate word is not "attract" . It should be "entertain"
Also your sentences sound very abrupt and short. You can give a little bit of description to the reader about your ideas. For example;
Some people think that museums should have features to entertain people to improve their attractiveness. However, the others believe they should focus more on educating people.


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