Posts by applenpeach

applenpeach

Feb 9, 2013

Scholarship / Love Finance ; Financial need statement; SCHOLARSHIP ESSAY [3]

Loving Finance and working as a loan officer and be in need of financial needs is the contradiction of my life

working as a loan officer and being in need of financial support(I think 'support' would be a better word than 'needs')

working in the bank

It should be ' working in a bank'

Hey, great essay by the way! All the best.

applenpeach

Feb 9, 2013

Graduate / Specialize in Signal processing & VLSI; SOP in VLSI, MS [4]

I would like to introduce myself as Goldie Kapur. I have completed my bachelor of Engineering in Electronics & Communication from SIR M.VISVESVARAYA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY an esteemed institution .I always have the ambition of pursuing the MS program right from my childhood days.

The introduction is not strong enough(this is just what I think)

SIR M.VISVESVARAYA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY an esteemed institution

SIR M.VISVESVARAYA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY,an esteemed institution.

I always have the ambition

I always had the ambition

Good luck!

applenpeach

Feb 17, 2013

Graduate / Computer- An inevitable necessity! ; SOP SUNY Buffalo [2]

The Computer era has made revolution in our present day world

Not a proper sentence, how about "The Computer era has revolutionized our present day world" .
Nice essay! All the best.

applenpeach

Feb 17, 2013

Letters / Modern Coummunication/ Semina on IPTV; letter of recommendation [3]

for Miss. Ameesha patil I have

Miss.Ameesha P atil. I have...

with confidence and lucid manner

with confidence and in a lucid manner.

All the best!

applenpeach

Feb 17, 2013

Graduate / Specialize in Signal processing & VLSI; SOP in VLSI, MS [4]

I also think your SOP is a little wordy. Is there a word limit for this?