Undergraduate / I arrived in Guadalajara as naive, inexperienced person; TRANSFER - SOP (U Austin) [3]

I'm applying a student transfer from Mexico to Austin. I will truly appreciate any feedback, grammar or spelling corrections. Right now I'm wondering if I should talk more about the school but I'm not sure.

The instructions given were these:
'The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.'

Pursuing Growth
I did not want to study in the United States. I was certain I wanted to go to college in Mexico.

I arrived in Guadalajara as naive, inexperienced person. I was looking forward to be alone in a city I have never been before, because I was eager to get out of my comfort zone and do something completely different with my life. I welcomed the emotional challenge ahead of me and loved every single minute.

My new school was very different from my hometown; it was definitely a bigger challenge than I was prepared for; the standards were much higher, I had to study harder to earn a good grade, but I felt like I was taking more knowledge than my previous school.

It was important to do something that interested me outside school, and for years I supported Greenpeace and I was given the chance to work as a promoter; my main duty was to invite people to join the organization through a donation. That was my first job and it's safe to say it was my most rewarding experience in Guadalajara. Not only did I accomplish a dream but also I met people who taught me so much, who took me in as a friend and helped me make the city a home. I look up to them, for their independence, confidence, intelligence, maturity and sense of humor. Even though we have a few years in between, they treated me as an equal which gave me the confidence to be my true self around them. I will forever be thankful for every moment we shared together.

Unfortunately, I had to quit because the work load from my school started to take a toll on me. As time passed I realized school was not fulfilling my expectations, because my personal views did not match the ones I was being taught. This made me lose motivation, I tried to get involved in other activities, but it was not working. I started reviewing my options and I set a new goal for myself: leave Guadalajara to move to Austin, Texas.

I do not regret going to Guadalajara because I learned. Learned to be by myself, to appreciate all the opportunities my parents gave me, to love my major, to see life from another perspective and most importantly, I decided what I wanted to do with my life; I want to be a concert promoter.

Live music is my passion; it has been since I was 16 when my dad took me to see my favorite band. There is nothing I love more than to experience the music I listen to everyday played in front of me, it brings me so much happiness and I want to be able to give that to people. I know living in Austin will get me closer to that goal and I am willing to work hard to achieve it.

I am glad I got experience Guadalajara, because now I realize I went there to grow as person, now I want to go to Austin to grow as a professional.

Undergraduate / Home Is Not A Place - Issue of Importance UT Austin [2]

This is the second essay I am asked to do for my transfer application to UT Austin. Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Juarez, Mexico, one of the most dangerous cities in the world is also the place where I was born. While growing up I was affected by the violence going on in my hometown. Thankfully, nothing happened to me or my family, but every single citizen was a victim of the violence because of the panic, fear, and general tension that struck the atmosphere of the city.

Drug related violence started in 2007, in certain areas of the city and gradually expanded. The images seen in the media were explicit and gruesome; the stories behind the murders were horrifying, like they were taking out from a movie, but no, everything was real. It was scary to leave the house, because there was a possibility you could get caught between a shooting, which happened out of the blue any time of day, everywhere in town. Paranoia invaded the city, businesses closed, people moved to other places, and nobody left their houses unless it was for work or school. At night the city was a ghost town, not a single soul was in the streets.

When this happened, I was in high school, which is supposed to be the best time of your life. I tried not to let the violence ruin my teenage years, but it was difficult, I thought it was unfair that I could not experience my youth the way I was supposed to, my parents would not let me hang out with my friends, although I knew they were trying to protect me, I wanted to be normal teenager, but the violence would not let me and it made me angry because I could not do anything to change the situation.

People continuously did protests to demand a stop, to ask the government to cease the situation, and while they tried, they could not put an end to it. The problem was so immense, no solution was effective enough. The citizens only had two options: learn how to live with it or leave. I was one of the people who lost hope and left. I could not resist anymore living with fear of my home; I needed to take a breath.

It was refreshing to live in a place where the people were calm, where imminent danger did not exist, but it also made realize the bravery and determination of the citizens of Juarez. Whenever I meet someone new, I always tell them the best thing about Juarez is its people. Which is absolutely true, they are brave because they are not afraid to speak up and defend their rights; they are determined because they keep fighting to demand justice; and they are hopeful because they see the greatness of the city and know things will get better. And it did.

Now I am back at Juarez, and while the fight against violence is no over, is amazing to see how the community is taking the city back to what it was, slowly but surely, and I feel proud to be a part of that. I had to go to learn that my home is not defined by a place; my home is defined by its people.

The deadline is in a week so I need feedback asap!