kimilonely
Feb 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTSďźTechnology has influenced the way people interact with each other! [5]
Could you please take a look at my answer and provide some feedback? What do you think i would score if i wrote this during the actual exam? Thx a lot!!
topic: (IELTS Writing Task 2)
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
My answer:
Technology has completely transformed the way we live our lives, including how we interact with other people. Thanks to cell phones, computers and internet, we are connected to the world every second. Friends overseas can be reached in the blink of an eye, and a total stranger can help me out by simply answer the question I posted online. Technology has dramatically influenced the types of relationships we have, and the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
First of all, we are making more friends with the help of the internet. By connecting virtually every parts of the world, the internet bring people together which used to be impossible with the ease of a click of the mouse. People with rare interest such as doll collecting no longer feel alone. Many different communities and groups of particular interests have been set up and people who share the same interests can be easily found. Furthermore, there are many support groups, forums aiming to help people and share experiences. Total strangers come together and give each other a helping hand with no money involved. Such relationships are relatively rare in the real world, yet extremely valuable. Another case in point is when people providing homestays to travellers who they only knew through the internet.
Nevertheless, not all changes are good. Text messages, emails have substantially reduced the amount of face-to-face contact we make with others. We become isolated from the real world and would rather hide ourselves behind a screen. Relationships which used to mean hanging out with your friends, may now just be a few text messages and some "smiley faces".
In spite of the negative development, the positive, as far as I am concerned, has been far more profound, and therefore, outweighs the negative.
Could you please take a look at my answer and provide some feedback? What do you think i would score if i wrote this during the actual exam? Thx a lot!!
topic: (IELTS Writing Task 2)
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
My answer:
Technology has completely transformed the way we live our lives, including how we interact with other people. Thanks to cell phones, computers and internet, we are connected to the world every second. Friends overseas can be reached in the blink of an eye, and a total stranger can help me out by simply answer the question I posted online. Technology has dramatically influenced the types of relationships we have, and the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
First of all, we are making more friends with the help of the internet. By connecting virtually every parts of the world, the internet bring people together which used to be impossible with the ease of a click of the mouse. People with rare interest such as doll collecting no longer feel alone. Many different communities and groups of particular interests have been set up and people who share the same interests can be easily found. Furthermore, there are many support groups, forums aiming to help people and share experiences. Total strangers come together and give each other a helping hand with no money involved. Such relationships are relatively rare in the real world, yet extremely valuable. Another case in point is when people providing homestays to travellers who they only knew through the internet.
Nevertheless, not all changes are good. Text messages, emails have substantially reduced the amount of face-to-face contact we make with others. We become isolated from the real world and would rather hide ourselves behind a screen. Relationships which used to mean hanging out with your friends, may now just be a few text messages and some "smiley faces".
In spite of the negative development, the positive, as far as I am concerned, has been far more profound, and therefore, outweighs the negative.