Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by amandamayet
Joined: Feb 24, 2013
Last Post: Jan 23, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: usa

Displayed posts: 6
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
amandamayet   
Jan 13, 2015
Undergraduate / UNIVERSITY OF WA PUBLIC HEALTH/HEALTH STUDIES TRANSFER PERSONAL STATEMENT-ADULT RETURNED TO COLLEGE [4]

INSTRUCTIONS:::

Write Stellar Personal Statement

All applicants must write a personal statement and submit it with the application for admission.

Do you have a compelling academic or personal need to attend the University of Washington-Seattle at this time? Is there anything else you would like us to know?

Content as well as form, spelling, grammar, and punctuation, will be considered. Suggested length is 750-1000 words.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Against almost all odds, I'm now applying to a competitive program at University of Washington, at age 29. My academic history used to haunt me, but I now recall it without shame because I have come so very, very far. I need to be honest right-off-the-bat and disclose that I am a high-school drop out. I barely earned credit during my brief attendance in grades 9 and 10, and then went on to dropout of two different colleges within 3 years between the ages of 18 -21 after earning my GED.

Like many others, I didn't have an ideal childhood that was supportive of achieving educational goals, or any goals for that matter. I had moved out on my own at age 15, living with an older sister of a friend as roommates. I got my first job when I was 14-years-old at a business office after convincing the owner that all he needed was a child-work permit, and it was completely legal to hire me. Impressed with my perseverance and resourcefulness for such a young age, he gave me a chance. I worked my way through my teens and twenties, ending up in a communications sales position for a major wireless company, but that eventually became unsatisfying after nearly 5 years of hustling for commissions. I never did completely dismiss my earlier intentions of finishing school while I was busy growing up and working, but I also knew I would only go back when I was completely ready to do so.

With now having two small children of my own, I wanted so much more for my family; it was not just for myself anymore. I needed some challenge in my life; my brain felt like it was on constant auto-pilot in my sales job. This time, I was determined to accomplish my long-time goal of earning a degree involving my greatest passion: Health!

My favorite classes always involved health, the human body, and the complexity of organisms and cells. How they divinely work or don't work together is like a puzzle I want to solve over and over again! Currently, I'm just a few courses away from completing my pre-nursing transfer degree at Lake Washington Institute of Technology. While studying, I've found I am especially interested in disease prevention and education, specifically for at-risk youth or in underserved populations. HIV/AIDS and HPV have been selected topics for many of my research assignments during my recent college years. Reaching out to the public in effort to ensure the awareness is there, is something I'm passionate about. Advocating and providing case management for populations who are infected with HIV is something I would also really enjoy.

I have made a complete comeback this time around at a more mature and focused age. I have attainable goals that match my natural passion and interests, so it has been a much different experience since beginning again in Fall 2013. I am on honor roll, I have earned scholarships and grants, I have volunteered doing teen suicide prevention work to promote mental health wellness, and have also worked in the campus's International Program helping students from all over the world adapt to American college life. The exposure to the globally diverse cultures I encountered while mentoring international students was extremely educational for me as well. It helped me identify what my own personal culture is, and what culture really means in terms of how you were raised and how you choose to live an adult.

I would describe my own family's culture as the cliché of the All-American sort. We BBQ and camp in the Summer, then ski and watch football in the Winter. We eat dinner together at the table nightly, and my kids are involved in sports and dance. These cultural details were not taught to me though in my childhood. I created my own culture for my family as an adult with my own children to raise. I incorporate all the things I wanted to know about as a growing child, but was never afforded. Higher education is one of those things. I am setting this example for them, and if I get accepted into a school like UW, then that's the ultimate achievement for me! I would be honored that even higher standards will be modeled so that when it's their time to enter college, they will have had my hard-earned accomplishments to look up to.

Whether I end up earning a Masters in PH and becoming CHES certified, or working for an agency like Planned Parenthood, WIC, or the county health department, I know this is my calling. It is my true interest to serve the public, and to be a part of helping so many other people lead healthier, and longer lives.
amandamayet   
Jan 15, 2015
Undergraduate / UNIVERSITY OF WA PUBLIC HEALTH/HEALTH STUDIES TRANSFER PERSONAL STATEMENT-ADULT RETURNED TO COLLEGE [4]

Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm not sure why some of the "instructions" did not paste over when I submitted this but UW specifically asks and requires you to write about your personal culture and also what could you bring to campus to contribute to the diversity. Trust me, I am not sure how to talk about "culture" when I am pretty average and then also incorporate it into a personal statement that is explaining educational history and goals. I have over a month to revise and so I am so happy to have gotten your feedback and advice. I appreciate your time in reading my statement! If you know how I could adequately transition into addressing my own personal culture, PLEASE do tell! Thanks again!
amandamayet   
Jan 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / National curriculum has been introduced into many countries for a long time [2]

I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE BOLD OR COLORING TO CORRECT A FEW ERRORS. THEY ARE WRITTEN IN CAPS INSTEAD AND PUNCTUATION IN PARANTHESIS. YOUR ESSAY MAKES SENSE, JUST A FEW TWEAKS, AND I NOTICED YOU ARE '"COMMA HAPPY" :) I HOPE I HELPED YOU WITH YOUR PAPER! GOOD LUCK!!

robbed our society of substantial diversity, it is generally agreed upon consent that a unified curriculum in early education across the nation(REMOVE COMMA) will improve social welfare by promoting social stability and LABOR productivity. Therefore, the government should always enact some variants of curriculum scheme at pre-tertiary level.

One main purpose of national curriculum is to prepare its nation's youngsters for the future challenges(REMOVE COMMA) by equipping them with the necessary skills. For example, back in the old days(REMOVE COMMA)the ability to read and write was a major focus in most national curriculums(ADD .) A PERIOD OF ECONOMIC GROWTH ENSUED AS A RESULT OF THIS FOCUS. In present day(REMOVE S), the list of vital skills has evolved to include more contemporary knowledge, such as computational techniques, leadership and social skills etc. A knowledge set that is not only hard to imagine to live without but is also relatively non-accessible to our children without a core curriculum. Thus, a curriculum scheme ensures our children are well-equipped for the ever-increasing complex world.

There is no denying that a curriculum scheme inevitably reduces some amount of heterogeneity among the individuals. However, it would be too extreme to say that the scheme would turn schools into "sausage factories", as those depicted in Pink Floyd's famous album The Wall. This is because while the scheme does take away a proportion of student's time to study some specified material, it does not (remove comma) inhibit (remove the) schools to encourage students to explore extra-curricular activities. Hence, unique and talented individuals can still be produced under such AN education system. Famous examples include Emma Watson, who participated in the Harry Potter film while completing her GCSEs and A-LEVELs(REMOVE COMMA) and the list goes on(INSERT ; ) such as numerous famous young American athletes showing great potential(REMOVE S) while balancing their SATs.

Lastly, the curriculum also aims to imbue our youngsters with virtuous characters. Through citizenship education classes(REMOVE COMMA) students will learn to respect others, obey laws(ADD COMMA) and above all(ADD : ) the ability to judge. A society with a well-informed public and high civility is sure to thrive.

In short, it is true that a curriculum scheme will create some homogenization(USE .) HOWEVER, they are manageable through additional substiles, and its economic impact and social benefits are far too significant to be forgone. (REMOVE SO) I recommend all policy makers (REMOVE TO) consider implementing a curriculum scheme if they have not ALREADY done so.
amandamayet   
Jan 21, 2015
Undergraduate / "For any of you struggling to find your niche, do yourself a favor and think back to your childhood" [4]

THIS IS THE SAME SUBJECT BUT NOT THE SAME ESSAY!!!!!!!!! I COMPLETELY REWROTE THE ESSAY SO PLEASE DO NOT MERGE. I SPENT AN HOUR CONTRIBUTING TO OTHERS ESSAYS SO WOULD APPRECIATE A NEW THREAD. THIS IS AN ENTIRELY REWRITTEN WORK-NOT REVISED. THANK YOU.

(INDENTATIONS DID NOT CARRY OVER IN COPY & PASTE)

STATEMENT CALLS FOR REASONS WHY I CHOSE THIS MAJOR.

INSTRUCTIONS ARE:

UW Bothell Application
Health Studies
Personal Statement Prompt

The Personal Statement is a critical part of your application and is a required part of your admission file. Please address all of the following topics when completing your personal statement (in an attached document with a minimum of 500 words and a maximum of 650 words):

- What are the main reasons you are choosing the Health Studies degree program?
- What are your personal and professional goals as they relate to health?
- Describe any relevant experience that has influenced your desire for a Health Studies degree?
- Anything else you would like the Admissions Committee to consider, including an explanation of any patterns of poor grades or gaps in your educational progress.

As I am wrapping up the final courses to complete my pre-nurse transfer degree, there is one thing that my public speaking instructor said that really stuck with me-further cementing the optimism of the path I have chosen to pursue for my education and professional goals.

She said, "For any of you struggling to find your niche, if you find yourself second guessing your major, do yourself a favor and think back to your childhood. What did you gravitate towards when given a choice? What were you really good at that people around you noticed and commented on? This will almost certainly be tied into your natural talents and interests as a college student today."

I thought to myself while she was speaking, and reminded my inner conscience that I wasn't afraid, I was absolute. I was older, wiser, and more driven than I had ever been as student and it was because I was so thoroughly committed to my intended major after so much soul searching and thought was given. I did reflect on the connection she had advised worthy of consideration, but was then even more self-assured because for reasons I never fully knew, I was always both terrified and enthralled by contagious diseases, especially sexually-transmitted ones such as HIV.

Even as a 5-year-old I had inquisitively sought after information from my parents about this virus after watching the news and learning that a famous basketball player was outing himself publicly as HIV-positive in the 1990's. There wasn't much information for them to give me at this time and at my age, but as I grew older I found myself just-for-fun learning about STD's and viruses, as a teenager and then throughout my early adult years as well. This research was interconnected with learning how the human body responds to illness and of other things like the mental ramifications a person faces when diagnosed with a disease. The older I grew, the more the fear of these diseases dispelled. The curious irrationality was replaced with an urge to help. I gradually came to know that I wanted to return to my ultimate goal of finishing college and pursuing something I was truly passionate about.

This decision took me a very long time, but it is only because I had experienced so many failures in the past involving education. I never even finished the 9th grade to be perfectly honest about my educational background. Like many others, I come from a broken home and experienced a childhood that has shocked most of the psychologists I have met with over the years. I moved out at age 15, got a job and found a roommate. I didn't even know where my Mother lived anymore, and my Father had passed away in an accident when I was 12. I earned my GED on my own accord at age 17 and attempted college twice during the next few years, both times dropping out because I just wasn't committed and failed to stay involved. It's not that I wasn't smart enough; I wasn't mature enough. I never had parents that preached about the importance of college or who had helped with funding for expenses-I was financially supporting myself 100%. College seemed impossible, but at least I tried.

I found myself successful at whatever it is I did for work throughout my teens and 20's, but never felt fulfilled or like I was contributing in the magnitude I wished for. After having two children of my own and becoming burnt out after 5 years in a high-stress sales position for a technology company, I was ready for a challenge and ready for the change. I enrolled in Lake Washington Tech as a pre-nurse student. I really just wanted a health and sciences oriented transfer degree so I could apply at UW eventually. Pre-nurse meets your transfer requirements and with hardly any high school credit, and horrible college grades from 2003, I knew I had some work to do. I surprised myself with how proactive and driven I am as an adult student. All the subjects I tuned out as a teen because they were "boring" I dedicated my time to as if it was a paid job, and I excelled. I felt determined to prove to myself I am smart enough, I am capable, and I will be a good example for my children.

I chose UW because earning a degree from a respected university with so many connections and opportunity is my top priority. I have special interests in case management and advocacy for HIV-positive persons, as well as public health education within underserved or at-risk populations. I'm also interested in planning and doing community outreach work. I have recently spent time volunteering with youth in suicide prevention for Volunteers of America, which has been so rewarding! I am looking forward to exploring the different areas of health studies and that's exactly why I love this major-it encompasses all of the broad interests I have in mind while being narrow enough to achieve my ultimate goal: To help others live healthier and longer lives!

Being accepted into UW's XXXXXXXXXX has been my goal since day 1 of returning to school and I would be so honored if I am accepted and invited to study among a student body and I had never thought possible just a few short years ago. Thank you so much for your consideration and time spent reading the very short version of my educational journey; it has been unconventional but I know that I am right where I should be.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳