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Posts by kido
Joined: Aug 12, 2013
Last Post: Sep 6, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 5  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 6
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kido   
Aug 12, 2013
Undergraduate / I loved science, so I did not concentrate on learning English; UT App- Personal Essay [14]

Essay topic:
E - Personal Essay
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

My Essay:

It was almost three years ago when I came to the U.S. However, I still remember the first days after my flight arrived at George Bush Intercontinental Airport. At that time, I was a student of a science university in Vietnam. I loved science, so I did not concentrate on learning English. Therefore, the first month I spent in the U.S. was the most embarrassing time period I've ever experienced. For instance, the immigration officer in the airport scorned me because I did not understand what he told me. He disrespectfully dragged me to his office to finish my application. I remember what he said to his co-workers: "How can he [me] not speak English at his [my] age?" I will never forget this incident, not because I feel a vindictive hatred for his acts, but because I want to remember the importance of language. This memory has been a motivation for me to study English, as well as all other courses. I do not want people to judge my intelligence or my knowledge based on a lack of fluency in English. Therefore, after I came to the U.S., I immediately registered at Houston Community College and started studying there the next Spring, even though my family wished for me to take time to familiarize myself with the life in the U.S.

The life in the U.S. was very different from the one in Vietnam. For instance, learning to drive was very challenging because I had not driven a car in Vietnam. During the first semester, my lack of basic skills in English also raised difficulties for me in school. I took only two classes in Pre-college Programs to improve my English skills. However, I spent nearly the first semester without improvements because I could not understand what my professor said. I thought the classes I was taking were at higher academic level than what I had accomplished in Vietnam. Accordingly, I decided to take the next semester with full-time classes in the English for Speakers of Other Languages Program, and this was, I think, an appropriate choice. In those classes, there were many students like me who were having trouble with English. I learned how to read, how to do presentation, and most importantly, how to write. Yes, this was the first time I had ever written an essay that was longer than one page and contained more than two paragraphs. After taking those courses, I felt more confident in my English skills and began to focus on classes for my major, Computer Science.

I really enjoy studying in the U.S. The only problem is I have to learn the information in English. I have to explain what I know in English to my professors and my friends during the discussion. Most of professors are very nice when they listen to me. Every time I run into troubles with vocabulary or struggle with explaining an answer, they help me with it. I have to thank them for this. They make me have confidence in myself. However, everything is not as easy when I work in team. My teammates have to be very patient to understand what I say. They usually help me to correct my words. Sometimes, they work with me, but they try to avoid talking to me. These behaviors often discourage me. However, I know that they are just links in my English development, so I ignore their acts. I will never give up because of them.

I know I need more time to improve my English, and I know English is extremely important in my future. Computer Science is not a major which requires people to have a strong communication skills, but in the U.S., English is always a key to success. Computer scientists work in groups most of the time, and having colleagues understand one another is very important. Therefore, learning English is my top priority on the way of becoming a successful scientist. Besides, with good English skills, I can read books and understand the new knowledge quickly and deeply. Languages cannot restrict me in this competitive world.
kido   
Aug 15, 2013
Undergraduate / I loved science, so I did not concentrate on learning English; UT App- Personal Essay [14]

Thanks for your advice. I will finish my Associate degree this Fall with a good GPA and required courses to transfer, so now and in the future, it is the time for me to improve my language skills and study harder. After reading your comment, I feel more confident about my process. Thank you for that. I know if I am accepted, there are still a lot of challenges waiting for me. However, I still want to go there to study, so I will put my 100% effort into my application and be ready for the next challenges.

Talking about me, I have been here for almost three years. What I wrote in the essay is my experience in the U.S. Of course, it it definitely true. When I came here, my English is nearly zero. I aware that my English is better day by day. The point is that I worry about if UT Austin admission will consider my language issue as a obstacle to study there. I want to be accepted but also want to describe what I experienced truthfully. Therefore, I think Admissions2012 want me to explain both of them.

If anybody has some advice for me, please feel free to comment. I need it. Thanks.
kido   
Aug 15, 2013
Undergraduate / I loved science, so I did not concentrate on learning English; UT App- Personal Essay [14]

First, I need both of you to calm down. We should not argue with each other. Both of you want to help me with my essay. I really thank you for that.

Second, Each of you has different views about essays. That is totally ok because students need various comments about their essays to make it better and get acceptance or higher grades. Please don't point your argument at anybody and make them mad. We are here because of essays. We love writing and being friend with everyone who need our opinions. Knowledge is priceless, and i think both of you know that. we don't want to come to any place with a strained environment.

Finally, I appreciate your ideas and need both of you to help me and everybody here. Thank you so much.
kido   
Aug 16, 2013
Undergraduate / I loved science, so I did not concentrate on learning English; UT App- Personal Essay [14]

I am a "he" not "she" or "her". :) Thanks for admission2012's offer and thank you guys for ruining my thread. I don't have anything to say. Oh. by the way, sksbl88, I asked UT Austin's Admission. They say I don't need to take TOEFL test because I have been taking classes at my school until I transfer. This thread should end now.
kido   
Sep 6, 2013
Undergraduate / I loved science, so I did not concentrate on learning English; UT App- Personal Essay [14]

I revise my essay and also finish the other. Could everybody continue to comment about the idea and grammar of the essays? I will appreciate your help. I haven't decided my titles yet, so please tell me your idea about the title of my essays if you have. Thank you.

First essay: Statement of Purpose
The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admission committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and the other application information cannot convey.

My essay:

Becoming a computer scientist has been my dream since I was twelve years old. At that time, computers were very expensive. Only few families having a son or daughter who was admitted into a famous university tried to buy computers. They bought computers when they did not have another choice because their sons and daughters could not continue studying computer science without a computer. My family also bought a computer for my brother after he had this trouble. It was very expensive. I know that because before and after purchasing this computer, my parents had to work harder than they did. Four years later, when my brother graduated and brought the computer home, was the first time I saw a real computer. I touched it with the most happiness I ever experienced. I sat close to it while my brother was working with it. I learned how to use it by watching my brother. It was very amazing time of my life. I knew that this was the tool I would work with in my future and the field I would put my creativity and innovativeness in order to develop it. I loved science, so my dream at this time was practicable. I earned a high grade on the science exam required for university entrance after I graduated from high school. I studied at the most famous university in the South of my country, Ho Chi Minh City University of Technology. I had been studying there for almost two years before I came to the U.S.

The dream in childhood was not the only reason I choose my major. I did great deal of researches about it. I asked my brothers who have worked many years in this field. I read a lot of books, joined technology forums, and went to some meetings to learn more about what my major could do. I am really interesting in the idea of artificial intelligence. Computer scientists can create it to serve people especially in medical works. Besides, computer science associates with mechanical engineering create many fantastic products which take the place of humans in dangerous missions. For instance, an amazing product like a probotic bom-detecting can take the critical risk for soldiers in the war. Furthermore, I enjoy computer science because it provides opportunities for creativity and innovativeness. In this field, I can think freely about what I can create because there are still many applied products waiting for me to develop and perfect in order to serve people more effectively. The future opportunities in computer science are without boundaries. It makes the ideas in science fiction become real. Lastly, computing compliments occur through for both collaborative and individual effort. Computer scientists can work together to create extensive and complex software, or they can work individually to create apps for tablet, phone, and computer to serve personal requirements.

My mother realized that America is a place of opportunities. She knew I could have a better chance of learning and exploring new world with my ability, so she decided to bring me to America. However, she did not know that I had to face with harder challenge when I came to the U.S.: Finding the way to fit in with a new culture. I have to use a new language as well as be familiar with a new study environment. I do not have a role model who can give me some advice before I make any big decisions. Nevertheless, I do not think it is a difficulty but an opportunity that U.S. has granted to help me become more independent.

The U.S. is a big country with a modern technology. It gives me a chance to experience different advance technology products that I have never seen in Vietnam. It has been an eye-opening opportunity for me to know more about those amazing products. I also have an opportunity to study up to date information about my major. With me, the more I know about computer science, the more excited I am to study about it. In general, it always has been my dream to become a scientist and I know that persuading a degree in this area at University of Texas Austin is my next step to fulfill my dream.

Second essay: Personal Essay
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

My essay:

It has been almost three years ago when I came to the U.S. I still remember the early days after my flight arrived at George Bush Intercontinental Airport. Before coming to the US, I was a student at a science university in Vietnam. My focus was entirely on science at the time, so I did not concentrate on learning English. That did not prepare me well for the new life in the US. Therefore, the first month living in the U.S. was the most embarrassing time period I have ever experienced. For instance, the immigration officer at the airport dismissed me because I could not understand his instructions. He had to take me to his office to finish my application, and I felt humiliated to be singled out in that manner. I remember what he said to other officers: "How can he [me] not speak English at his [my] age?" I will never forget this incident, not because I feel resentment for the officer, but because this incident taught me the importance of language. This incident has been a strong motivation for me to learn English. I realized not being able to speak English in the U.S. can make me a victim of misjudgments, a situation I wish not to find myself in. Therefore, soon after coming to the U.S., I registered at Houston Community College and started taking classes the next spring, even though my family wished for me to take time to familiarize myself with the life in the U.S.

The life in the U.S. is very different from the one in Vietnam. For instance, learning to drive was ...

I really enjoy studying in the U.S. The only problem is I have to learn the information in English. I have to explain my thoughts and ideas in English to my professors and my friends during class discussions. Most of my professors have been patient and helpful when they listen to me. Every time I run into trouble with vocabulary or struggle with explaining an answer, they help me with it. However, everything is not as easy when I work in a team with other students. My teammates have to be very patient to understand what I say. They usually help me to correct my words. We work together on assignments as needed, but beyond that, the language barrier really limits the socializing between us. I wish I could enjoy our leisure conversations more, to be a part of the team, and I understand that my language struggle is only a temporary step along the way of leaning English, so I am not discouraged by it. I tried to learn English harder, even when I am at home. I learn more vocabulary and made as many conversations as I can with my siblings. I have them create many different scenarios for me to apply the vocabulary and truly understand the meaning, so I could get used to it. After a year doing this strategy, I get better at catching up with class. I am able to explain my ideas and have longer conversation with my group mates.

I continued to finish the courses I need to take without any problems. Sometimes, I noticed that I read the books slower than my friends had to take a little time before saying anything. However, I constantly remind myself that it takes time to master a new language and that English is extremely important in my future. Even though Computer Science is generally not known as a career which requires extensive communication skills, having a strong command of English is still a key to success in the US and beyond. Computer scientists work with highly technical information and often on team projects, and having colleagues understand one another clearly is essential for efficient collaboration. My life experience in the US so far has taught me that language is the vehicle to achievements and to make learning English as my first priority. It will pave the way for my education and career as a scientist ahead.
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