music_lover
Sep 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / People Learn from Their Mistakes [4]
Good; you might consider not being quite so repetitive, but other than that and it is good. In order to make it GREAT, try adding some dress-ups, (-ly words, clauses, etc.) openers (the different numbers (#1, #3, #4, etc.) ) and things like that. It just adds some "pizaz" to it, if that makes any sense at all. I wish you all the luck in the world!
Good; you might consider not being quite so repetitive, but other than that and it is good. In order to make it GREAT, try adding some dress-ups, (-ly words, clauses, etc.) openers (the different numbers (#1, #3, #4, etc.) ) and things like that. It just adds some "pizaz" to it, if that makes any sense at all. I wish you all the luck in the world!