haisergeant
Oct 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / Solving the gap between rich and poor nations requires much effort from governments - IELTS [5]
Topic:
The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?
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It is undeniable that the distance between wealthy and unwealthy countries is wider in recent years and it does not seem to be stopped. Not only war, famine, plague but also the way of development of the countries are the reasons of this matter. In this essay, I will take a closer look at the causes and propose some solutions to shorten this gap.
There are many reasons preventing the national development. Firstly, wars, internal conflicts cause high injury and destroy farms providing food for the nation. Not having enough food to eat, people are starving and plague will occur. Somalia and Nigeria are the typical examples. Having war in many decades, those countries do not have enough fund and labour force to develop their countries from scratch. Secondly, wrong policies of nation development are also the reason putting a country back from wealthy ones. For instance, many countries invest too much fund on farming and upgrading weapons instead of education and technology which are the most important factors helping nation to catch up with others.
It is very difficult to lower the gap between wealthy and unwealthy countries, but it is not impossible. First of all, nations should end their conflicts quickly so people can put their guns down and focus on production. Providing that people have enough food to eat, they will contribute to the national development. After that, authorities should pay attention to the personal development, such as education and technology, which are the keys to boost them in the future.
In conclusion, solving the gap between rich and poor nations requires much effort from governments. Developing countries can base on the help from rich countries; however, they should be careful because most of the helps are not free.
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I hope everyone could improve my essays on IELTS test, grammar, cohesion, idea, more formal,... My first target is band 7, my second target is band 8.
Thank you very much.
Topic:
The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?
/--------------------------------
It is undeniable that the distance between wealthy and unwealthy countries is wider in recent years and it does not seem to be stopped. Not only war, famine, plague but also the way of development of the countries are the reasons of this matter. In this essay, I will take a closer look at the causes and propose some solutions to shorten this gap.
There are many reasons preventing the national development. Firstly, wars, internal conflicts cause high injury and destroy farms providing food for the nation. Not having enough food to eat, people are starving and plague will occur. Somalia and Nigeria are the typical examples. Having war in many decades, those countries do not have enough fund and labour force to develop their countries from scratch. Secondly, wrong policies of nation development are also the reason putting a country back from wealthy ones. For instance, many countries invest too much fund on farming and upgrading weapons instead of education and technology which are the most important factors helping nation to catch up with others.
It is very difficult to lower the gap between wealthy and unwealthy countries, but it is not impossible. First of all, nations should end their conflicts quickly so people can put their guns down and focus on production. Providing that people have enough food to eat, they will contribute to the national development. After that, authorities should pay attention to the personal development, such as education and technology, which are the keys to boost them in the future.
In conclusion, solving the gap between rich and poor nations requires much effort from governments. Developing countries can base on the help from rich countries; however, they should be careful because most of the helps are not free.
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I hope everyone could improve my essays on IELTS test, grammar, cohesion, idea, more formal,... My first target is band 7, my second target is band 8.
Thank you very much.