Writing Feedback / We can know something about a person by the way he dresses. [18]

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There are [Avoid it or there is/are/was/were constructions (or any of their variations, such as there comes or there may be) when you can find more specific nouns and pronouns that create more direct and accurate wording.] some groups of people who believe that it is [Avoid it or there is/are/was/were constructions (or any of their variations, such as there comes or there may be) when you can find more specific nouns and pronouns that create more direct and accurate wording.] **Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other expletive constructions** possible to know something about a person. On the other hand' there are fair <<replace with>> many amount of people [amount of people] use [number] for items that can be counted--use [amount] for bulk items who disagree with this. I< <Eliminate first person (I, me, my, etc.) in academic essays unless you are writing about a personal experience (but do not overuse pronouns).] belong to the first type of group. Two important things we<<Avoid the use of editorial we, us, or our in academic writing when referring to general humanity. When using these as first person (explicit pronoun), make sure that they refer to a specific group of people in the same sentence; avoid first-person pronouns in academic documents unless the assignment requires writing about personal experiences (but do not overuse pronouns). (See page 39 in the APA Reference Manual for more information.) could know from the dresses [Either this word/phrase is used incorrectly or is not the best choice in this context. Consult a dictionary for a more specific word for this intended meaning.] are how rich he or she<[he or she] (pronoun--he/she constructs) <[Avoid gender-specific pronouns and he/she constructs-rather, use plural constructs: instead of {a student...he or she}, use {students...they}] is and person's behavior.

In my opinion <Add comma--use a comma to set off most introductory elements--[In my opinion, ] the first important thing we<< [thing(s)] followed by the pronoun [we] may need an intervening [that] if misreading is possible [thing(s) that we] can guess is whether that person is rich or not. Definitely, [Check use of articles before nouns (a, an, the, etc.) -- delete unnecessary articles or add an article if one is required] rich person will wear only brand name dresses<<[brand-name[d] [Use a hyphen between compound nouns (writer-director) or compound modifiers (two or more words that act as a single modifier and precede a noun: well-known play. (See Sections 813-831 in The Gregg Reference Manual.)] . Depending upon the brand name of the dress [Add comma-the word(s) used to begin this sentence require a comma to set off most introductory elements] we can guess how rich he or she<[he or she] (pronoun--he/she constructs) <[Avoid gender-specific pronouns and he/she constructs-rather, use plural constructs: instead of {a student...he or she}, use {students...they}]*Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors* is. We see [see--unless meaning literally seeing with one's eyes, find a concise verb that conveys the idea in this context movie actor and actress<<[check if this should be singular or plural] always dressed perfectly. Nowadays <Add comma--use a comma to set off most introductory elements--[Nowadays, ] news media is always talking about [talk about]--consider another verb (e.g. discuss, report, etc.)] how first lady Michelle Obama dresses and how good <[good--is too vague--either delete or replace with a concise modifier] <<Eliminate unnecessary words/phrases--avoid using vague/general modifiers (e.g. very, really, good, great, a lot). Vague modifiers do not add any specific information to the sentence. Construct concise sentences in which each word is necessary. Read the paper aloud to locate and eliminate unnecessary words. she looks.

Second <Add comma--use a comma to set off most introductory elements--[Second--either precede with an article (a or the) or follow with a comma when this is part of a series, ] thing we<< [thing(s)] followed by the pronoun [we] may need an intervening [that] if misreading is possible [thing(s) that we]**Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors** can see [see--unless meaning literally seeing with one's eyes, find a concise verb that conveys the idea in this context **Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors** from the dress worn by the person is his<[Avoid gender-specific pronouns and he/she constructs-rather, use plural constructs: instead of {a student...he or she}, use {students...they}] [Keep pronouns consistent both in number (singular or plural) and person (first person or third person)] behavior. Like for an example, if a person always wears freaky dresses [Either this word/phrase is used incorrectly or is not the best choice in this context. Consult a dictionary for a more specific word for this intended meaning.] **Last reminder-this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors** [Add comma-the word(s) used to begin this sentence require a comma to set off most introductory elements] we can definitely<[definitely] <<Eliminate unnecessary words/phrases--see previous comment<< consider him [Noun-pronoun agreement problem. Both the noun and pronoun must be singular, or both must be plural. (e.g., Incorrect: A student must study to receive good grades on their tests. Revised: Students must study to receive good grades on their tests.)] as <<replace with>> a punk. On the other hand <Add comma--use a comma to set off most introductory elements--[On the other hand, ] if he or she always comes to [comes/came to xxx] unless describing a movement, this is an incorrect verb tense--delete the phrase or rewrite (e.g. come to understand is understood, etc.) work in [Check use of articles before nouns (a, an, the, etc.) -- delete unnecessary articles or add an article if one is required] suit and tie that person will be taken << [Passive voice. Use active instead of passive voice verbs to make writing more vibrant and concise. In active voice, the subject performs the action. In passive voice, the action is performed upon the subject. Active voice = Bill completed the paper on time. Passive voice = The paper was completed on time by Bill. ] as [Check use of articles before nouns (a, an, the, etc.) -- delete unnecessary articles or add an article if one is required] scholarly gentleman. [watch your assumptions]We see [Check use of articles before nouns (a, an, the, etc.) -- delete unnecessary articles or add an article if one is required] homeless person always in rags. [Check your facts/logic here; from this reader's limited knowledge, this either is inaccurate or seems unbelievable. Aim for clarity and exact simplicity.] The person who uses drugs looks [look-- is there a better verb that conveys the idea in this context?] disheveled.

However, there are always two sides of the coin<<Eliminate clichés, trite sayings, and colloquial language in academic writing. . There are few could mean some, not many, or only a thousand] <<Eliminate unnecessary words/phrases--see previous comment<< people who don't [don't] avoid all (e.g., don't=do not) contractions in formal writing, except within direct quotes like to [like to] like is ambiguous--consider using [prefer], [enjoy], [want] or find a concise verb dress up according to his [Noun-pronoun agreement problem. Both the noun and pronoun must be singular, or both must be plural. (e.g., Incorrect: A student must study to receive good grades on their tests. Revised: Students must study to receive good grades on their tests.)] **Last reminder-this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors** earnings. But [But--in formal academic writing, delete conjunctions at the beginning of a sentence.] that accounts to [Check preposition use--missing, wrong choice, or unnecessary] only [Check use of articles before nouns (a, an, the, etc.) -- delete unnecessary articles or add an article if one is required] small percentage. Therefore, I strongly agree that we can know something about a person by the way he dresses.

**academic writing is based on supporting the writing with academic sources**

Writing Feedback / Growing housing bubble ignored by ecomomists [3]

Why are we<<Avoid the use of editorial we, us, or our in academic writing when referring to general humanity. When using these as first person (explicit pronoun), make sure that they refer to a specific group of people in the same sentence; avoid first-person pronouns in academic documents unless the assignment requires writing about personal experiences (but do not overuse pronouns). (See page 39 in the APA Reference Manual for more information.) seeing millions of homes in foreclosure? <<In academic writing, eliminate rhetorical questions to which no reply is necessary. Rephrase to create a statement rather than a question< Economists including<[including or not including introduce a partial list and needs a comma before--no punctuation following This phrase should introduce nonessential information or delete this phrase and rewrite. Add comma(s) at the beginning and end of this word/phrase that contains interesting but nonessential, parenthetical, or transitional information] the Federal Reserve board ignored a growing housing bubble that existed since the mid 90's [90's] to make numbers plural add an s--in the 90s (temperature)--'90s or the 1990s (decades) . How could this happen [happen, happened, happens, happening, etc.] unless meaning by chance, this word may not be the best choice ? Factors contributing to the housing recession included low interest rates, high investor activity, and policy change that allowed for affordable loan products.

According to some, the cause of the recession resulted from a policy change to the nation's economy aimed at dealing with the collateral damage from two principle changes to market economies in the 1980's [90's] to make numbers plural add an s--in the 90s (temperature)--'90s or the 1990s (decades)**Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors** . During the dawn of the Reagan Administration, our country<[our country--assumes all readers are from one country--consider naming the country or use [the country]] faced [faced, faces, or facing]--can you think of a more concise verb?] the most threatening recession since the Great Depression. The Gross National Product [Eliminate unnecessary capitalization] had fallen 2.5% and the Unemployment Rate [Eliminate unnecessary capitalization] had skyrocketed over 10%, a historic high. Although there were [Avoid it or there is/are/was/were constructions (or any of their variations, such as there comes or there may be) when you can find more specific nouns and pronouns that create more direct and accurate wording.] several factors, which contributed to the recession in 1982, one of the most relevant for the high unemployment rate was an increasingly technical industry. Factories began to make an important shift in the methods they used for producing their goods. Advanced machinery replaced many manufacturing jobs, contributing to the rising wage inequalities. This re-skilling<<[re] do not use as an abbreviation for [regarding]--[re] and the next word (e.g. re-think is rethink)--see APA, pp. 92-93; The Gregg Reference Manual, śś 833; and a dictionary--verify need for hyphen--space----use a dictionary for the definition when these words are combined of the labor force coupled with the increased dependency of American consumers on foreign products, set the stage for changes that would bring about policies, which are relevant to the crisis we<<Avoid the use of editorial we, us, or our in academic writing when referring to general humanity. When using these as first person (explicit pronoun), make sure that they refer to a specific group of people in the same sentence; avoid first-person pronouns in academic documents unless the assignment requires writing about personal experiences (but do not overuse pronouns). (See page 39 in the APA Reference Manual for more information.)*Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors* face today. Our government responded by attempting to stimulate consumer credit in hopes of [in hopes of/to xxx] for clarity, rewrite as (hoping for) or (hoping to) offsetting these changes. By removing many restrictions on home mortgage lending institutions, they <Eliminate vague pronoun references. A pronoun must refer to a specific word in the sentence and not be confused with another word: The example was interesting, but they should have mentioned it earlier in the presentation. (they is a vague pronoun reference because it does not refer to a specific word in the sentence).successfully compensated for the decrease in purchasing power, but did so by creating a bubble in the housing market. The country avoided a depression by placing the majority of our countries [our countries] need an apostrophe for the possessive: singular--country's or plural--countries' debt into [Check preposition use--missing, wrong choice, or unnecessary] consumers via the housing market and mortgage lending institutions. <<check for missing quote marks and/or citation. [What is your source for these ideas? If you have used outside sources, please cite them. Anything that is not common knowledge requires a citation.

(Indent the first line of each paragraph five to seven spaces (1/2 inch), use one tab, or set first-line indent.) Another factor of the recession was the huge<[huge] <<Eliminate unnecessary words/phrases--avoid using vague/general modifiers (e.g. very, really, good, great, a lot). Vague modifiers do not add any specific information to the sentence. Construct concise sentences in which each word is necessary. Read the paper aloud to locate and eliminate unnecessary words. housing market that greedy lending practices built. This started in 2003 when the Fed [Use abbreviations only after writing the term or name in full, with the abbreviation in parentheses -- e.g., Return on Investment (ROI) (no periods needed), Arizona Department of Transportation (ADOT). Once created, use only the abbreviation thereafter] reduced rates to 1% allowing trillions of dollars of credit into the US [US]--need periods--no spaces between [U.S.]--see APA §3.27, p. 110 economy. "Homebuyers became eager to take on mortgages that they could not possibly afford and banks and investors were willing to make loans that could not be paid back." [no punctuation before a closing quote mark--delete or move punctuation after citation--see APA §3.39--for quote mark use--see APA §3.06] (Baker) [APA citation error--Author cited within the text = Smith (2007). Author not cited in the text = (Smith, 2007). Include a page or paragraph number with all direct quotations = (Smith, 2007, p. 32). Place the period at the end of a sentence after the citation, and do not use URL addresses for in-text citations.] Homeowners used the logic of the appreciated equity in their homes as leverage against new loans against the same property. The lenders used the same logic. If the home value rises, they would be able to recoup their investment in the foreclosure market. An article from The Home Predictor states, "The concentration of fraud and misrepresentations combined with easy access to mortgages of all kinds, including subprime loans to those with poor credit histories and exotic new conventional mortgages to those with good credit" [Check use of quote marks without a citation following. Delete unnecessary quote marks. Italicize key terms or technical terms and labels for emphasis. Do not put the terms in quotations marks. Refer to APA page 100 ] created the illusion of a prosperous market while inflating the housing bubble.

A strong US [US]--need periods--no spaces between [U.S.]--see APA §3.27, p. 110 **Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors** economy attracted foreign investors in U.S. treasuries helped make homes affordable to the majority of Americans. Double-digit home appreciation brought investors who bought homes under construction in order<[in order] <<Eliminate unnecessary words/phrases--see previous comment<< to "flip" [Check use of quote marks without a citation following. Delete unnecessary quote marks. Italicize key terms or technical terms and labels for emphasis. Do not put the terms in quotations marks. Refer to APA page 100 ]**Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors** them for profit<<[for-profit [Use a hyphen between compound nouns (writer-director) or compound modifiers (two or more words that act as a single modifier and precede a noun: well-known play. (See Sections 813-831 in The Gregg Reference Manual.)] . These investors were the primary customers of the interest only [Use a hyphen between compound nouns (writer-director) or compound modifiers (two or more words that act as a single modifier and precede a noun: well-known play. type of products. The quick rise in home values<<[in-home [Use a hyphen between compound nouns (writer-director) or compound modifiers (two or more words that act as a single modifier and precede a noun: well-known play. (See Sections 813-831 in The Gregg Reference Manual.)] led to a decrease in affordability among average Americans. This in turn<[in turn] (transitional expression) [Add a comma (use a semicolon if what follows is a complete sentence) before and a comma after interruptions (nonessential, parenthetical, or transitional)] reduced demand and slowed the appreciation. When prices began to show signs of weakness, combined with buyers who bought homes they had intended to refinance at lower rates, the housing bubble popped. People started losing the homes they could not afford and the mortgage lending institutions began to fall.

Why is this type of recession in the housing market referred to as a bubble? <avoid rhetorical questions--see previous comment **Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors** All bubbles will pop <<Add a comma (use a comma before a conjunction (and, but, or, etc.) linking main clauses)>> and this one did with millions of Americans in its splatter zone. The Fed pushed down interest rates in order<[in order] <<Eliminate unnecessary words/phrases--see previous comment<<**Last reminder--this is a repeated error. Please read the rest of the document carefully to locate other similar errors** for Americans to achieve the goal of homeownership. Investors pumped in money based on an illogical rise in the housing market. Sub-prime<<[sub] and the next word--see APA, pp. 92-93; The Gregg Reference Manual, ś 833; and a dictionary--verify need for hyphen--space----use a dictionary for the definition when these words are combined and creative loan practices gave individuals the ability to take on [take on]--This is quite conversational. Consider tightening it up--use [accept, assume, engage, undertake, etc.] debt they could not afford. All of these [all of the-these-those, etc.] either delete [all of] or [of the-these-those, etc.]--see The Gregg Reference Manual p. 314 factors combined to create the reality of the Americans dream yanked from underneath millions of Americans.

*** academic writing is based on supporting the writing with academic sources***