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Posts by NgBud
Name: Nayantara Gopi
Joined: Nov 18, 2013
Last Post: Nov 19, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Bahrain

Displayed posts: 3
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NgBud   
Nov 18, 2013
Undergraduate / My parents are my support - WORLD I COME FROM [5]

Hi everyone, I have written this essay . It is a rough draft and it would be splendid if you guys could check it out. I promise to return the favor.

When I was very young, I dreamed of being a princess. When I became a little older, I dreamed of being a zookeeper. But now, when people ask me what my dreams are, I have only one answer "I have a dream that I will solve the world's energy crisis. I have a dream that I will make my parents proud. I have a dream that I will contribute".

Despite living away from of my native land, I never truly left my kindred. I see India as a diverse country, with unique dialects, traditions and cultures. It is also, one of the most rapidly developing countries and its technology is expanding in leaps and bounds. But, at the same time, I view India as one great paradox - as our nation advances in the world, our poverty increases; as my country finds new resources, she also faces an impending energy crisis; as the rich get richer, the poor, only get poorer. There are some people that are given a lucky set of numbers in life and there are some, who aren't. In Bahrain, being exposed to my school's multicultural environment made me realize that our lives can be as infinite as we wish them to be and so, there can be millions of numbers with every person's set. Hence, I want to ensure that an equilibrium exists between the two groups, that instead of an energy crisis, we face an energy breakthrough, instead of a disparity in livelihood, quality of living improves; that instead of having a million numbers in the set, they can have a million plus one.

My parents are my support- they bolster my ambitious dreams and encourage me to do my best and put in my 100% at everything I do. Sitting with them while watching the news, or in a classroom, where I am learning about the same made me realize just how imminent and how extensive the problems we face really are. Thus, I am inspired to contribute to society and do my bit - whether it is to refine pharmaceuticals to improve healthcare systems or develop safer methods for using nuclear energy. I want to help build a stable society and therein lie my reasons for choosing a chemical engineering major. Chemical engineers have knowledge about subjects as varied as engineering to management and economics and gain an analytical and technical understanding of the world and its components - it's chemistry and biochemistry. Thus, I believe it to be the course that will help me get a head start on my dreams. I believe it to be the course best for me. So one day, when I am on the cover of newspapers worldwide for enabling alternative energy and medical resources to be feasible and available to all, I will be seen as someone who's made her mark on this world by daring to dream big.

Any help will be really appreciated :) I think my essay is really mainstream so any advice or criticism ..please do share it with me :)

Thanks once again
NgBud   
Nov 19, 2013
Undergraduate / My parents are my support - WORLD I COME FROM [5]

Thank you so much for reading through it :D I was just wondering though if it adheres to the topic? Also, is it too mainstream? even if i remove the line about the "princess"?
NgBud   
Nov 19, 2013
Undergraduate / "Math just makes sense"- UC Transfer personal statement #1 [3]

It's a really sweet essay and I think you can make out its from the heart. Just some suggestions though.. you can choose to take it if you want :) instead of the "I love being presented something that needs to be solved because when I finally solve it I get a feeling of accomplishment". Maybe it could be reworded to " I love solving questions because I look at it as a new challenge. I believe nothing is impossible to solve, so when I finally, do crack the sum, I get a feeling of accomplishment."

Also, I know what you are trying to say but it's probably for the best if you don't mention that you were undecided and hadn't given your major choice enough thought until your senior year...

Hope this helps..and good luck with your essay :D
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