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Posts by LifeBringer
Name: Hieu Nguyen
Joined: Nov 21, 2013
Last Post: Dec 1, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Vietnam
School: FTU Student

Displayed posts: 3
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LifeBringer   
Nov 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'Radio and Television users' - IELTS - Line Graph [4]

I'm going to take an IELTS exam within two months. This is my first thread whose image attached at the end. So please read and feedback to me :) Thanks in advance.

This line graph indicates the percentage of over 4-years old users in Radio and Television during the day in the period of October - December 1992.

Overall, the rate of two type of audiences remained unstable with Television surpassing Radio during 1:00 - 12:00 pm.
In detail, after a slight fluctuation between 3% and 7% for the first eleven hours of day, proportion of Television audiences dramatically climbed to the peak of 45% at 9:00 pm, followed by a rapidly fall to 15% in the last hour of day.

By comparison, the rate of Radio users which stabilized for the first six hours raised significantly to the highest point of 25% at 8%, before a gradually decline to 5% at the last hours of day.

An emphasizing note in graph is that only at the 1:00 pm did the both of two types of audiences meet each other in percentage of population.

152 words - 17 minutes.

Looking forward to seeing your feedback :)
Again, thanks a lot :)



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LifeBringer   
Nov 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / Financing artists from tax payer's money - Ielts [3]

Let your content be good, I want to focus on range of your vocabulary.
You should use more various thesauruses in your essay.
Likely = probably = almost certain
However can be replaced by nevertheless, nonetheless, by contrast.
I think u r good at grammar :) However, I am not an examiner so I cant give u a mark.
LifeBringer   
Dec 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'Radio and Television users' - IELTS - Line Graph [4]

At first, I think "over-4-years" can be used as an adjective but I think it is better if I use a small note like you did.

Come what may, thanks in massive :)
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