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Posts by lapd_ray
Name: Raekwon Morgan
Joined: Nov 28, 2013
Last Post: Nov 29, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America
School: Inglewood High School

Displayed posts: 5
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lapd_ray   
Nov 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Military contracting Firm; Common App USC- use your engineering degree to benefit society? [5]

Prompt: How do you plan to use your engineering degree to benefit society? (250 word limit)

I will use my engineering degree to start my own military contracting firm. With a primary concentration on defense. My company would also provide robotics(unmanned aerial vehicles) for municipal law enforcement agencies as well as federal. Practical uses for my drone technology would be to provide surveillance for law enforcement agencies, aid in search & rescue missions, or to help firefighters fight fires, among a multitude of uses for drone technology. As society grows rapidly. I believe we must find alternative and innovative ways to use drone technology and ease human labor through ways mentioned above.
lapd_ray   
Nov 29, 2013
Undergraduate / 'Singing and playing guitar' - UC Prompt #2 [4]

"I've spent countless hours practicing and learning new songs because every time I pick up the guitar, I lose track of time and get enveloped into it." can be re-worded/ or taken out.Why does this matter?

"My hobby of music is important to me as a person because it greatly demonstrates my character. Having a commitment to something, taking risks, and fully dedicating my time and energy into something I love fully relates to the type of person I am." re-word this to make it more concise. Find a way to fuse these two sentences.
lapd_ray   
Nov 29, 2013
Undergraduate / "You know who Mark Zuckerberg is? ; Central to identity [3]

Re-word everything highlighted in red.
Elaborate everything highlighted in blue.
and consider taking out everything highlighted in green.

That was the first QBASIC program - in fact, the first computer program - I had ever seen. "You know who Mark Zuckerberg is? The guy created this website called 'Facebook.' He's only twenty-three and he's world-famous! You start coding too. It will be hugely useful one day." My father had told this to me the previous night and I had promised him I'd try starting to program.So, you know the rest of the story, right? I was like one of those 80's and 90's kids who was introduced to coding in BASIC when (s)he was twelve, got fascinated, excelled at it, and became a popular geek at school. Well, not really. I hated QBASIC the first time I saw it. I hated that horrible blue screen with horrible grey text on it, with gibberish like, "MS-DOS," and "Debug. " Every muscle in my arm yearned to hit that "X" button and go back to finishing that last level of Tony Hawk's Underground. The only reason I was reading that QBASIC tutorial, written by some guy called "Ted Felix," who apparently thought, "programming is fun," was because I didn't want to break my promise. So I told my muscles to relax for a while and continued to read. Three chapters into it, through operations, loops and logical statements, I gave up. This was way too uninteresting for me.

A few weeks later, my father showed me Fractal Art. "All this is done using programming?" "Yep." "No, really. This?! Using just programming??!!" "Absolutely." I was stunned. Both by the beauty of those fractal images and the inconceivable fact that the same ugly statements and words I had written on that blue screen a while back could produce works of such breathtaking resplendence and grandeur. "Okay. Tell me. How do I make these?" "Whoa! Slow down! It's all complex stuff. You need to learn the fundamentals first." I rushed to my computer to seek Ted Felix's help. That little moment was one of the turning points of my life. I started to learn programming, this time with wholehearted commitment. Immediately, I was pulled into a world that was so full of opportunities and challenges, and gradually, I fell in love with programming. This time, printing "Hello World" somehow seemed a hundred-fold more exciting. The prospect of explaining to a computer what I need it to do was astonishing. I would code for hours, many times late into the night, till I was shouted at to get off the computer. Making programs that asked your name and age, simple algorithms for a die experiment, username-password login systems, or games of hangman, propelled by logic and analysis that actually worked, often after several hours of brooding: All of this was priceless! There was never a shortage of ideas for new programs, and the thrill and sense of achievement when each of these was successfully executed was something I could get out of very few other things, one of which was not video games. I had found this wonderful medium which gave me massive freedom to express creativity and experiment on in ways I had never known, and I was not ready to let go.

So, now, five years later, programming is my deepest passion, something I've constantly found solace and happiness in.(Thanks to Ted.) This is my story, and this is the part of my life that has defined me and has been a driving force. "Geekazoid," "That Programmer Kid," (and sometimes "the guy who can fix my computer") - these form my identity now, among friends, family and community. Although I never really got around to learning to produce those advanced fractal images,(my interest shifted towards AI, Robotics and Networking,) I gained a powerful new skill, or, as Gabe Newell says, a superpower!

Conclusion:

PLEASE WORK ON BEING CONCISE!

TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA QBASIC PROGRAM IS.

YOU'RE ON TO A GOOD START AS FAR AS CONTENT GOES!

NO SERIOUS GRAMMATICAL ERRORS!

7/10

But at the end of the day, this is YOUR personal statement. So if your disagree with any of my comments. Keep it how it is!
lapd_ray   
Nov 29, 2013
Undergraduate / 'Yearbooks and peers' - USC - Annenberg Statement of Intent [3]

WOW. I love it. Keep it just the way it is.

HOWEVER, I don't feel that you adequately addressed WHY you want to pursue a career in Journalism? Just add a sentence explaining what your career goals are post graduation from USC as a Journalism/and or Public Relations major.

P.S. Why not just major in both? USC encourages students to double major. Take the challenge! You can do it! Good luck.
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