Undergraduate / I was isolating myself from other people's views; Virginia Tech- Principles of Community [3]

Explain how our Principles of Community will enhance your experience as a student at Virginia Tech. (250 words max)

As a Filipino student coming in to Virginia Tech, not only am I ensured that my learning experience here will not be conflicted based on my nationality, but my experience will also be unique and enriched by a diverse community that exists here at Virginia Tech. To me, surrounding oneself in a varied environment is very important in growing as a person. Throughout my life, I have always surrounded myself with people who shared the same beliefs as I did. Although that allowed for easier connection with the other person since we were able to see through the same eyes, I realized that I was isolating myself from other people's views on world matters making my perspective on the world very one-sided. In order for me to grow as a person, I believe that surrounding myself with people of varied backgrounds will not only help me to learn of new cultures and ideas, but it will also encourage me to think critically and be able to communicate effectively with anyone despite their background. This is a useful skill necessary in today's increasingly evolving society as it allows us to create mutual respect for one another.

Undergraduate / Certainly I was ashamed; Recount an incident where you experienced failure [5]

I need help editing this essay. The conclusion especially needs work.

Recount an incident where you experienced failure and what lessons you learned..
As I opened the locker door, my mind filled with ecstasy as I imagined the smooth and creamy Hershey Kisses melting on my tongue before they had even entered my mouth. After the four of us had plundered through every eighth grade locker, we were overjoyed that we had collected over 200 Hershey of these chocolate confections. Each locker was left barren of the miniature pyramids and only the heart shaped construction papers with "Happy Valentines Day, from Rio" written on them were left behind.

We all laughed together as, one by one, we each plopped a Hershey kiss into our mouths. However, our satisfaction would come to an end, and I would soon come to find out that the mission we had carried out was bittersweet.

The following day, I sat in Home Economics class trying to find my height on a chart and see the corresponding body weight to determine my BMI, when my teacher abruptly called for my name. "Roscon, the front office would like to see you," Mrs. Butcher said right after hanging up the class telephone.

Initially, I was excited to head over to the front office, mostly because the only time I got called up there was to get the food or money my parents had dropped off for me. As I stood patiently waiting for my parents to come, Mr. Shepard, the school principal, popped open his door and gestured me with his index finger to come into his office. My parents were not coming. I stepped into Mr. Shepard's dark and ominous office and I saw Rio standing slouched next to the desk looking down at the floor. Immediately, Mr. Shepard had asked me if I was aware of why I had been called into his office. I had no doubt in my mind it was because of the incident that occurred the previous day. I remained silent as I felt like a lone criminal, nervously standing with such close proximity of the Judge and The Innocent. Shortly after, Mike, Dylan and James entered the office. As Mr. Shepard replayed the surveillance tape of us rummaging through all the lockers, my body stood rooted to the ground, frightened of the punishments that were to come.

"What you four have done is very upsetting and I'm very disappointed in you boys. Someone had worked so hard to put together something nice for the students and you boys took that away from everyone..." As Mr. Shepard went on about our misdemeanors and consequences, I could not stop fixating upon that one word, disappointed!

Certainly I was ashamed, but what had subdued me was when I had imagined myself in Rio's shoes for a moment. I asked myself how I would have felt if I had done the same exact thing, to have worked painstakingly towards something only to have all that effort and work be taken away by someone else. I understood how Rio felt at that moment and I could not help but feel awful for what I had committed. My eyes which previously could not bring themselves to meet with Rio all of a sudden did, and I apologized in all sincerity.

Until those circumstances, I had not realized how important it was to be able to step in the other person's shoes to gain a better understanding of the other. When I empathized myself with Rio's mindset, I became more cognizant of his feelings, and it gave me better insight and mutual respect towards him. I certainly learned my lesson after the "chocolate invasion", but with that lesson also came a new method of communication, which has encouraged me to think critically of others. So, instead of jumping ahead with any interaction, I invite you to let go of your own preconceived ideas about someone and consider what its like in their shoes.

Undergraduate / Virginia Tech- The best day of my life so far was...Pole Vaulting [2]

The best day of my life (so far) was... Please tell a story that allows us to experience your best day. (max of 250 words)

I stood nervously rooted behind the next pole-vaulter, waiting for my turn. My hands perfused sweat, transferring itself to the 13 feet, fiberglass pole I held in my hand. "I mean what's the worst that could happen." I thought to myself. "I could plant the pole wrong into the pit, get flung distantly into the sky, and land on the hard concrete, or maybe an official. It's the most dangerous track and field event. No big deal right?" "Castro! Winnacunnet!" the official bellowed. I must've missed the previous opponent execute his jump. I gazed at the bar I was to clear, and suddenly my heart began to beat twice as fast. "Come on Ros. You've already cleared 10'6", what's six more inches going to do." I thought, emboldening myself. "You've exhaustingly trained for this in practice, watched dozens of YouTube videos every night analyzing the pros. You can do this!" Disregarding my encumbering thoughts, I sprinted down the runway, planted the pole just two steps before I would jump, and then swung my leg like a pendulum towards the sky. The pole bent like an arch subsequently launching me into the air. It was as if time stood still when my eyes hovered just inches above the bar. My back landed on the velvety mats, and that was when I knew that I cleared 11 feet, automatically qualifying me for the state meet. The surge of nervousness was replaced with joy and ecstasy.

Especially being my first year in pole-vaulting, thoughts of going to states never approached my mind. People have always perceived me as merely being good at school and art, but this meet proved otherwise that I could also excel in athletics. I've never put as much work into any other sport besides pole vaulting, and in the end it all paid off, and I would be competing against others I've previously looked up to.

(317/250 words)

Okay so this essay is 317 words. I need help cutting it down. I don't know if I should take out too much descriptive details because the admissions officers asked to "tell a story that allows us to experience it" also. Oh yeah and I need it edited for spelling and grammar mistakes.

Undergraduate / Taking risks and opening my mind. What life goals will Purdue help you to achieve and how? [4]

What life goals will Purdue help you to achieve--and how? (Respond in 100 words or fewer.)

Contemplating upon my college experience, I envision myself taking risks and opening my mind up to new ideas and opportunities. Offering more than 850 student organizations, and being ranked as having the second-largest international-student population, Purdue University will provide me with the diversity and experiences to fulfill my goals. My encounters with people of varied backgrounds will not only help me to learn of new cultures and ideas, but these encounters will ultimately help me to communicate effectively with anyone despite their varied background.

(84/100 words)

Please Edit my essay and check for content especially.