The prompt is to write an essay that represents who I am.
Do you guys think that I do too much story-telling or is it okay?
Thank you so much!
I was raised in a traditional Vietnamese household; however, I grew up in a primarily Hispanic and African American community. At a young age I was ostracized and referred to as "that Asian" by my fellow classmates. As the years passed, I started to avoid being the typical Asian stereotype. I became uncomfortable when I was out in public with my family because we were just a "big group of Asians." Since I had always related Asians with glasses, I was horrified at the fact that I had to start wearing glasses in the second grade. Though I enjoyed seeing more of the world with my glasses, I only wore them at home to avoid anyone "cool" from seeing me in my glasses. When I was in public, I would be constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure no one would recognize me. At school I refused to raise my hand so I would not draw any attention to myself. I was also teased for getting a 100% on my math tests. Since Asians were stereotypically associated with being good at math, I would purposely give the wrong answer to avoid the embarrassment of doing well. I even despised wearing the beautiful traditional ao dai (long dress) because it made me feel even more Vietnamese.
When I was ten years old, I was thrilled with my family's decision to move to another city. The thought of living in a city with people more like me was exhilarating. As my mom was driving through the drop-off lane on my first day of school, I looked out the window hoping to see a more diverse atmosphere. As I looked closer, I noticed that there were no Hispanics or Africans Americans. Instead, I saw only white students. I refused to get out of the car, fearing what my new school would be like. When I finally agreed to go to class, my teacher told me to come to the front of the class to introduce myself. I hesitated but I followed orders to blend in. Since I did not wear my glasses so I would look "normal," I could not see the faces of my new classmates. Though I could not see, I could still hear them whispering "whoa, it's an Asian." They acted as if I was an entirely different species. That day at recess, I sat under a tree alone watching the other kids turn their heads when they passed me then whispering to their friends. I could not help but to feel like I was being judged by every kid.
In 2008, my family visited Vietnam for the summer. I was shocked by all the traditions and customs at the airport, hotels, restaurants, streets-everywhere. These customs existed back home in Utah, but they were not as apparent as they were in Vietnam. The colors red and gold were splattered in every direction you looked. One of the most memorable parts of the vacation was touring the Vietnam Museum of Ethnology-a museum dedicated to preserving and exhibiting different ethnic groups in Vietnam. My favorite exhibition was about the history behind certain Vietnamese traditions, such as the ao dai. I was so excited about the ao dai that my parents bought me one to bring back home. When I returned home I wore my ao dai almost every day after school and all day on the weekends. My adverse feelings towards being an Asian gradually vanished. I embraced my culture and began to share it with my fellow classmates. As I fell more in love with Vietnamese culture, I ignored the odd stares and whispering comments. To me, I am not longer "that Asian." I am simply Yennhi Hoang.
There's nothing wrong with story-telling, but if you're going to do it, I think you should do it in a more captivating manner. Think about starting your introductory paragraph with a more interesting sentence.
