Undergraduate / "HEALTH" UW-Madison UNNOTICED ESSAY [3]

HEY GUYS! I am an international student applying to Wisconsin Madison. It'd be awesome if you comment on my grammar, essay structure, and anything else I should correct! Thanks! Plz READ!

Consider something in life you think goes unnoticed and write about why it's important to you.

Everything flows purple at the same time like flowing water in a ballet theater. I started to get panicked. The only thing I was able to think of was "Where is daddy?" while he was already next to me. I tried to lift my arm but it did not move at all. I felt my knees give up, and my eyes go black. The last thing I saw was my dad, suddenly turning to me. I could hear my dad say something but could not understand his words. The world went silent and black. When I opened my eyes again, I found I was in a hospital.

"I think you are just too tired. Drink some more water," said doctor. Just as the doctor said this, everyone believed that I was fine. But three weeks later, I fell unconscious again.

After regaining consciousness, I started to have high fever and was not able to listen to any noise of a washing machine, traffic, or television that they all made me throw up. I begged God and Spirit of Nature for recovering, the only wish that dwelt inside me. However, there was no hospital in Mongolia that I could get treatment. My parents decided to bring me to China as they said that the only hope would be it.

The doctors finally concluded that the problem I was facing was the beginning stage of epilepsy and advised me to get treatment for a year. They also said that it is no mental disease, so I would get no potential loss or working skills, which was the news that made my parents' day.

Mother left her job to look after me. The small business that my parents once ran, the important factor that introduced me to the world of economics and finance stopped. All my family members focused on their very goal, which was to make me feel better. They gave up everything they thought was worth saving me.

Whenever people asked why my mom left her job and business, epilepsy was never her topic to speak about. I did not want epilepsy to define me either. So I decided not to quit my dancing club, Olympiad teams, and other extra-curricular activities, trying to believe what doctors said. I took the treatment regularly and did everything that I could do. As time passes, although there were times when thought of epilepsy made me cringe, there also came a time when I was able to sit inside a car again. That moment when I felt energetic as ever when interacting with people was the best feeling ever in my life that I did not have anything to worry or sorry about.

Human does not realize how important our health is like I did not. We are too busy to think about it of course. But at the end, as we are not careful enough to care, it goes away from our lives, leaving us unable to do anything.

Undergraduate / Why UW-Madison? Range of career paths [3]

Hello everyone! I am an international student applying to UW-Madison. All comments, ideas, suggestions will be appreciated! :)

Being consistent in one's academic goals coupled with moral support from the school system make a student into a successful learner. My aspirations for study in the field of economics was discovered when my parents started a small business to support family. But my interest to pursue my career in economics was sharpened much more when I saw the tragedy of ruining of environment in my home country because of developing mining industry. Including my grandparents and their herds in the area they lived had to go to a small well dug by several local men to get clean underground water because the closest river was dried up by the mining companies. It was too frustrating to me that all I could do was just sit and stare at the red dust flowing everywhere and let the dusty wind from the mining machines wash over me. Seeing many people sending requests to the mining company to stop pollution without results, I realized that the great effort these people had done might not work, except it went with well-organized and convincing solutions. I knew that I had to improve my knowledge to offer a practical solution and help my people.

University of Wisconsin-Madison offers a versatile range of career paths for its students, and studying here would clearly assist me in attaining my life goals. I would like to pursue my career in economics and eventually make contributions to build a responsible economy in Mongolia. Being a big research school, University of Wisconsin-Madison can offer so much more than other schools. The school has great professors who earned honors among their peers, national recognition, large research grants, and have done work at prestigious universities, therefore it would be the best place to help me to pursue my career for the next four years.

There are numerous student organizations and extra curricular activities that I could be a part of at UW-Madison. Being my favorite ever since I could remember, dance and volleyball teams of Madison would definitely be my top choices. Ranking in top ten in national championships since 2001, Wisconsin's dance team will both be a satisfaction and an enhancement for my next four years of education.

American Center for Mongolian Studies (ACMS) locating at University of Wisconsin-Madison also drew my attention. With the resource and network of the ACMS, it will be helpful to me finding future research data and collaborators.

As an international student, I admire that University of Wisconsin Madison has a very culturally diverse campus, providing students with many opportunities to learn about different cultures and learn useful skills beyond academics. ISS offers various services for international students to support them with internationalism such as International BRIDGE and International REACH programs. With its inviting community, great opportunities of learning, green campus, the knowledge and skills I learn, UW-Madison will make me competitive in the future world.