Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1; consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain [10]

The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Academic writing task 1,, please correct and feedback, I appreciate your help

The table shows the percentage of electronic machines used by the British over about one decade from 1972 to 1983.

At a glance when we look at the table, one can notice that the highest household owned in Britain was Television from 93 percent in 1972 to almost 100 percent in 1983. The usage of vacuum cleaner and refrigerator increased steadily to above 90 percent by the end of the period. There was also a significant increase in the use of washing machine and telephone to 80 percent and 77 percent respectively by 1983.The usage of central heating climbed from 39 percent in 1972 to 64 percent in 1983. On the other hand, there were two relatively new machines used by the British, namely Video which had been used in 1983 by 18 percent, and the dishwasher used for the first time in 1978 by 3 percent to reach 5 percent in 1983.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS; Both parents, father and mother, are indispensable to grow up a child [5]

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up."

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
You should use your own ideas,knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Please correct it and feedback... and how much does it deserve in IELTS out of 9

Both parents, father and mother, are indispensable to grow up a child. However, more and more people argue that the role played by a father is more important than that played by a mother. Personally, I think that a mother plays a principal and crucial role in the life of her children.

First of all, the main role of a father is to work hard to secure an acceptable standard of living to his children. The stress related to such a pressure is ended by entering the home where there is a mother to take care of the rest, including, but not limited to, preparing the food, cleaning the house, washing clothes and taking care of children.

Nowadays, as women get the same rights as men, they are working at the same positions and sustain the same duties. As a result, it created another pressure upon a mother, she is not just taking care of children but she also has to fulfill the duties of her job. Moreover, she takes care of her husband in addition to her children.

Starting from giving birth after a harsh nine months of pregnancy, then carrying and taking care of the child, and spend most of her time with her baby while her husband is at his work, it leads to a strong loving and caring relation with her child. That is why in many cases children would tend to be closer to their mother than to their father.

In conclusion, despite the fact that a mother has more responsibilities toward her children than a father, the raise of a child to be a good member in the society is a long term process and it needs a collective effort from both parents.