Undergraduate / Yale short answers - Philosophy - Physics - woman [4]

Wow, I really like these! For the first one, I don't think that you are coming off too complaining, but just one suggestion
instead of " Yale can change it - as one of the few universities" maybe try: "at Yale, I can help change that" I think that it could help show you have initiative and really want to make a difference and want to make that difference at yale

Undergraduate / Stanford Supplement Essay- What matters to you, and why? MY BAG [2]

JoseCollege
What matters to me? My bag matters to me. Why does my bag matter to me? Simply put, my bag carries the things I need, the things that matter to me the most. What matters to me is not the bag itself, but what the bag represents.i dont think you need to say this b/c the reader can gather that conclusion from reading it -- which is a good thing!

My bag is a direct result of the experiences and cultures I have come in contact with. Inside one -- i think you can just say "you" can find a U.S. Government Textbook, the book 'El Nombre del Viento' in Spanish, and even a green calculator I bought during my year in France. My bag, much like myself, is a product of what has made its way inside it. A unique mixture of cultures and contrasting ideas come together to form a single object, a single person.

My bag is a representation of the things that matter to me the most. Inside can be found reminders of my family: my brother's sweater, my sister's English Literature binder, and even a neatly packed lunch made by my mother and father. Everything that is of importance and has a place in my heart can be found inside.

My bag is important to me because it is me. It's a reflection of my life and proof that different ideas from different places can come together and form a cohesive whole. Everything found in my bag can be found in me, and will remain with me for the rest of my life.

overall I really liked it and how you made one object that obviously does matter to you into something about your whole life and your culture!