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Posts by Phoenix Vu
Name: Vu Ngoc Phuong
Joined: Jan 18, 2014
Last Post: Feb 5, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Viet Nam
School: University of Languages and International Studies

Displayed posts: 4
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Phoenix Vu   
Jan 18, 2014
Undergraduate / Revision of my study objectives essay - Industrial Engineering [3]

Your writing is good, however there are some mistakes in red that I have correct for you. And suggestions for improving word choice appear in the text underlined in blue.

I'm currently studying Industrial Engineering at Centro Universitário XXX. My University is located in an industrial region and it has numerous partnerships with the local businesses, this way it can offer internship and employment opportunities for the students, what I believe to be very important in any knowledge field.

. I believe that many medium/large-sized industries has deficiencies in size
In my University in Brazil, I have participated a study about data quality in the industry. I got the results and I conclude that the most part of data problems of a system are caused by human mistakes. Based on this, I have an interest in studying the personal factors inside of an industry. My experience points that the human problems are not well known by the enterprises.

That's why my study objectives focus on these fields.
believe that these three areas are directly connected
It's evident that every enterprise has as its major objective
insist that a planning of training and motivation
I hope this helps!
Phoenix Vu   
Feb 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Effects of plastic surgery (500-800 words) [4]

I would be very thankful if someone could send me any suggestion and grammar help with my essay.
Plastic surgery is more popular than ever. According to the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS), 43,172 plastic surgery procedures in the UK were carried out in 2012. In general, individuals consider plastic surgery to improve physical features. However, before opting for something as drastic as plastic surgery, people should calculate the pros and cons of it to accurately assess the risks and benefits.

Plastic surgery, when performed by an expert surgeon for the right reasons, is the best decision anyone can make. Aesthetic pro of plastic surgery can make people look younger, more attractive, and re-contour one's body. Therefore, plastic surgery can promote happiness, self-esteem, self-confidence. Most definitely a true statement, concerning what a bigger eyes, thinner body can do, especially for people who are not happy with how they look, or have been in some sort of accident. While improving one's self-confidence, self-esteem, plastic surgery can generally boost in the quality of life. Perfect outlook will lead to the satisfaction, happiness with respect to all aspects of life. It can be noted that individuals who are satisfied with how they look will be consequently successful in their work. As a result, this will greatly enhance a person's quality of life. Moreover, many types of plastic surgery can certainly improve health conditions. For example, breast reduction often helps women breathe better and covering from back pain.

However, even after a significant progress in technology, plastic surgery still involves a slew of side effects, risks and danger. One of the most common mistake people make is using the wrong doctor. A bad doctor could make patient worse than they were before they went in for the surgery. They may perform a procedure that result in a complete cosmetic overhaul that looks plastic, phony like Michael Jackson, Heidi Montag. Another disadvantage of plastic surgery is that it can have negative effect on health. The most common complaints reported are headaches, vomiting and prolonged pain, excessive bleeding, temporary numbness... Besides, some plastic surgery procedures like face-lift can lead to nerve damage temporarily or permanently. Moreover, plastic surgery is an expensive procedure ranging up to $6,000 or more. It can put tremendous financial pressure on patient and their family. While assessing the cost of the surgery, people tend to forget the cost of the postoperative medication. And sometimes, people have to pay for secondary surgeries because of dissatisfaction with results. Most insurance policies do not pay for elective procedures such as plastic surgery. Other disadvantage of plastic surgery is that it is time-consuming. Patients must plan time off to recuperate enough to return to work and daily activities. Lastly, dead can be caused by plastic surgery. The bigger the procedure, the higher the risk of complication should be aware of, for instance, infection, hematoma, and allergic reactions. Many celebrities have died from plastic surgery like Solange Magnano, Donda West. Though death caused by plastic surgery are rare, the possibility of death cannot be ruled out. The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS) has reported that within more than 400,000 operations, which performed in accredited facilities, the death rate was extremely low- 57,000 cases. Nevertheless, we can be one of that 57,000 cases.

To sum up, plastic surgery is aimed to make humanity look better. Thousands of people have these operations performed each year. However, there are many risks ranging from emotional issue to death that people make take when they go under the knife. Only individuals can decide if it's worth for them.
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