Rolla Ngo
Apr 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / Your teamwork experience that you have learned the most from (300ws) [3]
Hello everyone! :)
This essay is a part of my application form for a youth empowerment organization. I have already spent more than 4 hours to write and edit it, however, I would appreciate it very much if you could help me figure out its good and bad points so that I can write a better and more natural one next time ^^. Thank you so much!
"That was 3 years ago not so long after I became a newbie of my club. I was assigned to organize a far trip for the whole club. The task was a bit overwhelming to me because at that time I did not think I was cut out to be a leader. "I like to connect and support people, not to control or punish them", I simply thought. However I did give it a try and promised myself that I would do my best.
So my core team was quickly set up based on voluntariness, so quickly that I did not spend enough time to consider team members' suitability (their real desire to join, their skills, etc). It turned out 2 among 6 members dropped out in the middle of the project and we were terribly behind the deadline.
I realized the drop-out was not only because of careless recruitment but mostly due to my unsuitable leadership style. I used no rule but encouragement because I trusted people awareness. This boosted our creativity and flexibility, which was good but unexpectedly, when I stopped encouraging, they also stopped trying. The lesson I myself drew was: A leader should firstly, make it clear for his team players about the vision and ultimate mission, then makes everyone feel passionate and head for it voluntarily.
I hate it when members of one team do so separate tasks that they know nothing about what other people are doing. Therefore, I spent time sharing to boost mutual understanding, yet I did not allocate the tasks for the appropriate ones. 4 of us performed every task together. I believed this helped us to learn the most. I was correct, but not completely. As everyone had to join all activities, they got tired over time and our productivity decreased. Now I find out a good combination of mutual understanding and appropriate task allocation is the best.
In conclusion, every team-work I have been joined in taught me a certain lesson, thanks to which, I improved my skills and also had better understanding of my own manner."
Hello everyone! :)
This essay is a part of my application form for a youth empowerment organization. I have already spent more than 4 hours to write and edit it, however, I would appreciate it very much if you could help me figure out its good and bad points so that I can write a better and more natural one next time ^^. Thank you so much!
"That was 3 years ago not so long after I became a newbie of my club. I was assigned to organize a far trip for the whole club. The task was a bit overwhelming to me because at that time I did not think I was cut out to be a leader. "I like to connect and support people, not to control or punish them", I simply thought. However I did give it a try and promised myself that I would do my best.
So my core team was quickly set up based on voluntariness, so quickly that I did not spend enough time to consider team members' suitability (their real desire to join, their skills, etc). It turned out 2 among 6 members dropped out in the middle of the project and we were terribly behind the deadline.
I realized the drop-out was not only because of careless recruitment but mostly due to my unsuitable leadership style. I used no rule but encouragement because I trusted people awareness. This boosted our creativity and flexibility, which was good but unexpectedly, when I stopped encouraging, they also stopped trying. The lesson I myself drew was: A leader should firstly, make it clear for his team players about the vision and ultimate mission, then makes everyone feel passionate and head for it voluntarily.
I hate it when members of one team do so separate tasks that they know nothing about what other people are doing. Therefore, I spent time sharing to boost mutual understanding, yet I did not allocate the tasks for the appropriate ones. 4 of us performed every task together. I believed this helped us to learn the most. I was correct, but not completely. As everyone had to join all activities, they got tired over time and our productivity decreased. Now I find out a good combination of mutual understanding and appropriate task allocation is the best.
In conclusion, every team-work I have been joined in taught me a certain lesson, thanks to which, I improved my skills and also had better understanding of my own manner."