konaren
May 2, 2014
Undergraduate / UCHICAGO PERSONAL ESSAY - overcoming myself and growth. [COMMENT FOR COMMENT] [2]
TOPIC: I was waitlisted at the University of Chicago, and am sending this to my regional admissions officer as a letter of continued interest. As a result, there isn't an actual prompt: but my goal for the paper was to avoid writing the overused laundry list of accomplishments, and instead talk about a personal weakness and my overcoming of it.
It probably has many errors and gaps in its line of thinking. Please be as harsh as possible, haha c:
I will comment on all responders' essays.
------
When I applied to The University of Chicago last year, I was like many of the other applicants - hoping for an acceptance. However, when I received my waitlist letter, Chicago suddenly appeared as a faraway possibility. To me, Chicago wasn't just a possibility, and I didn't want it to be: it was and is my dream, and my ideal school. And now, having finally convinced both of my parents of the opportunities I knew the school presented from the beginning, it has only become more ideal.
On the other hand, when I applied to the school, I did so with an understanding that my application wasn't as ideal as the school I was applying to. I spent the beginning of my high school career living out a puppet's routine, going through every one of the motions and yet feeling none of them. I won't lie - it doesn't take much of a look at my freshman and sophomore year grades to realize how far below my potential they were, and it takes even less to realize how much I left undone in my lack of direction. My record was tainted and yet left blank by my past, and there was nothing I could do to reverse it.
So, instead of reversing it, I strove to change it. I didn't want to be the withered freshman anymore, and neither did I want to be the faded girl in tenth grade. So I pushed myself as much as I could, working myself mentally, physically, and emotionally, striving to bring back the excitement for learning that I once felt. I went from being a withdrawn student to the two-time English Student of the Year; I became an active and engaged member in so many extracurricular that my friends began to wonder if I had simply found a new group. I invested myself into my art and watched as my skills slowly developed, I lost dozens of pounds in my weight loss journey, and, most importantly, I found my extinguished passion and determination. It stopped being about changing, and I changed.
Why am I telling you all of this? I said earlier that I didn't lie - I didn't, and I still don't. I'm telling you all of this because I'm not done changing, and I'm not done expanding into the person I want to show through. I may not have had the statistics, but I have the determination: and, from where I'm standing, the only way left to go is up. I am only midway through my journey, but already I can't imagine the future I flew past.
Thank you so much for expressing interest in me at The University of Chicago, and I hope for your continued interest as the waitlist decisions continue to surface. I appreciate your time and energy in reading this, and sincerely hope that I will be able to join you this coming fall.
TOPIC: I was waitlisted at the University of Chicago, and am sending this to my regional admissions officer as a letter of continued interest. As a result, there isn't an actual prompt: but my goal for the paper was to avoid writing the overused laundry list of accomplishments, and instead talk about a personal weakness and my overcoming of it.
It probably has many errors and gaps in its line of thinking. Please be as harsh as possible, haha c:
I will comment on all responders' essays.
------
When I applied to The University of Chicago last year, I was like many of the other applicants - hoping for an acceptance. However, when I received my waitlist letter, Chicago suddenly appeared as a faraway possibility. To me, Chicago wasn't just a possibility, and I didn't want it to be: it was and is my dream, and my ideal school. And now, having finally convinced both of my parents of the opportunities I knew the school presented from the beginning, it has only become more ideal.
On the other hand, when I applied to the school, I did so with an understanding that my application wasn't as ideal as the school I was applying to. I spent the beginning of my high school career living out a puppet's routine, going through every one of the motions and yet feeling none of them. I won't lie - it doesn't take much of a look at my freshman and sophomore year grades to realize how far below my potential they were, and it takes even less to realize how much I left undone in my lack of direction. My record was tainted and yet left blank by my past, and there was nothing I could do to reverse it.
So, instead of reversing it, I strove to change it. I didn't want to be the withered freshman anymore, and neither did I want to be the faded girl in tenth grade. So I pushed myself as much as I could, working myself mentally, physically, and emotionally, striving to bring back the excitement for learning that I once felt. I went from being a withdrawn student to the two-time English Student of the Year; I became an active and engaged member in so many extracurricular that my friends began to wonder if I had simply found a new group. I invested myself into my art and watched as my skills slowly developed, I lost dozens of pounds in my weight loss journey, and, most importantly, I found my extinguished passion and determination. It stopped being about changing, and I changed.
Why am I telling you all of this? I said earlier that I didn't lie - I didn't, and I still don't. I'm telling you all of this because I'm not done changing, and I'm not done expanding into the person I want to show through. I may not have had the statistics, but I have the determination: and, from where I'm standing, the only way left to go is up. I am only midway through my journey, but already I can't imagine the future I flew past.
Thank you so much for expressing interest in me at The University of Chicago, and I hope for your continued interest as the waitlist decisions continue to surface. I appreciate your time and energy in reading this, and sincerely hope that I will be able to join you this coming fall.