Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Do guns can really increase the level of violence? [7]


--->doesn't sound natural .

1.Criminality is an uncountable Noun (dictionary meaning : criminal quality of a crime/offence.- like a concept).An offence / committed crimes are countable ,therefore either of them can be used with "The number of.." instead of uncountables.

2.Rapidly is used to describe "how fast" something happens. E.g.: The stock prices increased rapidly. If you are not able to give a reference to demonstrate how fast the numbers grow but you still would like to point out the importance/significance of the growth in numbers, you may want to use words like : dramatically , significantly , vastly,considerably,greatly,substantially. I tried to rewrite the same sentence below.I hope it helps.

My suggested version is : The number of violent crimes committed has increased significantly throughout the world.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Do guns can really increase the level of violence? [7]


inhabitants : wrong word choice.because it implies a group of people living in a particular area

this case appears : wrong word choice because a case can appear at a court.I think here you are trying to explain that something "occurs" depending on something.

a police : singular v plural problem.when you are generalising ,it is better to avoid "a" / "an".Besides police is considered to be plural (short form of police force).If you would like to talk about a single policeman you can use "policeman" or "police officer". The same rule goes for the criminal act when generalising.

to solve a criminal act : wrong word choice .a criminal act is an illegal action therefore it is an offence. think about if you would use the word "solve" with "an offence".They don't go together well,and don't sound natural. Police can solve criminal cases or crimes.

Here is how I would write it :

Some people argue that this is due to the use of guns by police forces to solve crimes. .

Writing Feedback / "broken chopsticks" - letter to the shop manager; writing task in IELTS 8 [4]


My suggestion is as follows :

I am writing this letter to inform you that last week I purchased a box of chopsticks from your shop and some of them came out broken.

Writing Feedback / "broken chopsticks" - letter to the shop manager; writing task in IELTS 8 [4]



*general rule : but /and/or connect two sentences.

My suggestion is as follows :

Sales clerk told me that your good are of good quality while I was shopping but the broken chopsticks that came out from the box is implying otherwise.