Undergraduate / FSU addmissions essay ("I believe your University will give me the knowledge") [10]

Thank you for all the advise. I have took that advise and tryed to make a good essay. Please be harsh if needed. (the word limit is 500)

Here is my essay:

Vires is a big part of my life. I started my foundation at a private school my elementary and junior high school years. The school had the a-beka program which made me into a prospective student by teaching me that hard work will not kill me. Not to mention the love and support of the teachers. My mom has also had a huge impact in my life. She has given me the strength I need to pursue my dreams.

Some of my strength comes from my start in a private school. The a-beka program has developed intellectual morals that I have and will base my study habits on. Because of the seven point grading scale, I learned to study harder to get that high grade. This strength will exist for the rest of my life in anything I do. The teachers were a huge part of my strengths. Without them, my study habits would be nonexistent. They were always there to help and support you in any way they could. They taught different techniques that could help you study more efficiently.

My mom has been there for me through all the loop-de-loops in my life. Early on she taught me strengths that I will base my whole life on. She is the reason I am trying to make something of my life and to do anything that is in my power to chase my dreams. She is the "Vires" of my life.

From the experience of writing this essay, I have came to realize that vires has a big impact on my life. Before writing this essay, I never sat down to think of all my strengths and where they came from. Now that I know I have the strength I am ready to open that door right in front of me and face the big world.

Undergraduate / FSU addmissions essay ("I believe your University will give me the knowledge") [10]

Again thank you for all the advise. I have yet again taken that advise and revised my essay....

I always think of the saying, "That which does not destroy us, will make us stronger." I can testify to this saying which was written by Friedrich Nietzsche. My family has not always been there for me. Through my childhood years, my father could not be located most of the time at any of my school or personal events. He was not there for me most of the time. Even the aunts, uncles, cousins, and even grandparents would be at any of my school or personal events. This goes along with my mother's side. With that being said, vires is a big part of my life. With not having family support, I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful mother that has taught me morals that I will use for the rest of my life. She is the reason I am trying to make something of my life and to do anything that is in my power to chase my dreams.

In addition, I started my school foundation at a private school my elementary and junior high school years. The school had the a-beka program which made me into a prospective student by teaching me that hard work will not destroy me. This program has developed intellectual morals that I have and will base my study habits on. Because of the seven point grading scale, I learned to study harder to get a high grade. Not to mention the love and support of the teachers. Without them, my study habits would be nonexistent. With the small class sizes, the students had more one on one time with them. Meaning that they were always there to help and support you in any way they could.

From the experience of writing this essay, I have came to realize that vires has a big impact on my life. Before writing this essay, I never sat down to think of all my strengths and where they came from. Now that I know I have the strength I am ready to open that door right in front of me and face the big world.