Writing Feedback / I was only thirteen at the time but old enough to understand that Leukemia was cancerous; UC essay [4]

Wow! Can I just say that your introduction was so unexpected? I loved your essay. It really pulled me in and kept me reading until the very end. I do feel that the essay doesn't necessarily answer the prompt. The details were so explicit, but there wasn't enough detail as to how your brother's leukemia has made you grown into the person that you are today and why it makes you so proud. As others have said, concentrate on the effect of your brother's disease on you.

You are a great writer. Just add on some more detail to answer the question.

Writing Feedback / I think, no one can't live these days without a mobile phone and a computer. [4]

This seems as if it was a speech that is talking about technology has taken over our daily lives.
I think, no one can't live these days without a mobile phone and a computer. So today I will talk about technologies and a computer advantages and disadvantages. So let's get started.

For example, I use a computer in the evenings and at on the weekends. Computers have changed the way I work because there is much less paperwork involved in my job now. I do everything on the computer. Such as: For example, I can chat with friends, communicate with relatives by video calling. Besides my smart phone is always in my hands or in the pocket. So I am dependent on technologies.I would reword the last sentence.

Computers have many advantages. You can use them to store and organize information. They allow you to work quickly and more effectively. Other advantages include typing out a document, essay, letter, or a simple birthday card. We can communicate with our friends online and send them e-mails. You can find out lots of, information from the internet and you can even play games on them.

InOn the other hand, there are some disadvantages too . For example, staring at a computer screen for long periods of time can damage your eyes. Also Sitting in front of a computer for too long without exercise can cause a weight gain and other health issues. As well as some people use computers to look at things that we aren't suppose to see. People can actually get personal information about you by tricking you to fill out applications that LOOK real but are NOT real at all.I understand the last sentence but it would be better in other wording. In addition

Cybercrime, hacking, blackmailing, these are the first few types of crimes come into our mind when we are presented with the words "technology" and "crime". Let us consider the crimes which came into being because of modern technology. Hacking, being the most well known and famous crime of the modern era [fragment ]. Every innocent computer can be used to hack, either into a bank, a firm, or a house, depending on the hackers skills. Once he or she is successful in doing so, results can be disastrous. Millions can be stolen from a bank in minutes after the hacker sneaks in.

To sum up technologies give for us a lot of good things, but with technologies in our life came many bad things, so modern technologies are very good thing , just we must be careful on that. [reword ]

Undergraduate / I already have come to a decision; my qualities will allow me to adapt into the UCF community [3]

I like your answers. Your answers include a lot of evidence that help provide admissions officers the insight that they need when they look at your application. Good job!