chintan
Jun 21, 2009
Writing Feedback / "tip the waiter" essay - what have you learnt from a mistake? [9]
"Should we tip the waiter?". "Okay.", he said.
Outside the restaurant, we (me and my 4 friends) were (...) by a child beggar. While none of them wanted to part with another rupee after the hundreds they had spent inside, I decided a rupee or ten wont harm me, and bought him biscuits. Walking to the shop, I felt an instant desire to talk to the kid, who was no taller than my feet, dressed in rags, the most natural wear of footwear.
We talked about his ill mother, dead father, his schooling, where he lived; I loved the innocense with which he replied. There and then I decided I could help him, teach him, and I started imagining the methods I'll use to teach him, the practise of the english alphabet, teaching him tables, values of life, manners, in fact everything I know. It thrilled me. I never told him about it, but I knew I wanted to do it.
I didn't.
The guilt that followed a week later when I saw him begging on the street again was (...). I consider this a mistake in my life because I had right in front of me an opportunity to affect someone's life and I let it go.
But it was significant enough to change the course of my life. A week later, I saw two kids studying in the street light, and I lost no time to approach them. I have been teaching them for around a year now.I have made a conscious effort to contribute to the society and motivate others to do so. That lead the beginning of my volunteer group at college. The mistake made me realise that social work(or helping others-underprivileged) is something I want to do, not for today, not for tomorrow, but for the rest of my life.
The word limit is only 400, hence the stringent effort...
now does the essay click?
bcos most ppl applying to b-skuls will have essays from life where there were tangible decisions to be made and they failed in this decision making, they learnt from they're mistakes and avoided it later.
Now, my essay is a bit not like it, so again does it click??
pls post your feedback regarding the story,, does it ''show'' or does it ''tell''...
And a word about the start,,,is it catchy...??
I had another one like.."Do you want to learn english." "Yes.", he said.
and btw the dotted portion is where i couldn't get words to add..!!
Any feedback is very valued, thank you. :)
"Should we tip the waiter?". "Okay.", he said.
Outside the restaurant, we (me and my 4 friends) were (...) by a child beggar. While none of them wanted to part with another rupee after the hundreds they had spent inside, I decided a rupee or ten wont harm me, and bought him biscuits. Walking to the shop, I felt an instant desire to talk to the kid, who was no taller than my feet, dressed in rags, the most natural wear of footwear.
We talked about his ill mother, dead father, his schooling, where he lived; I loved the innocense with which he replied. There and then I decided I could help him, teach him, and I started imagining the methods I'll use to teach him, the practise of the english alphabet, teaching him tables, values of life, manners, in fact everything I know. It thrilled me. I never told him about it, but I knew I wanted to do it.
I didn't.
The guilt that followed a week later when I saw him begging on the street again was (...). I consider this a mistake in my life because I had right in front of me an opportunity to affect someone's life and I let it go.
But it was significant enough to change the course of my life. A week later, I saw two kids studying in the street light, and I lost no time to approach them. I have been teaching them for around a year now.I have made a conscious effort to contribute to the society and motivate others to do so. That lead the beginning of my volunteer group at college. The mistake made me realise that social work(or helping others-underprivileged) is something I want to do, not for today, not for tomorrow, but for the rest of my life.
The word limit is only 400, hence the stringent effort...
now does the essay click?
bcos most ppl applying to b-skuls will have essays from life where there were tangible decisions to be made and they failed in this decision making, they learnt from they're mistakes and avoided it later.
Now, my essay is a bit not like it, so again does it click??
pls post your feedback regarding the story,, does it ''show'' or does it ''tell''...
And a word about the start,,,is it catchy...??
I had another one like.."Do you want to learn english." "Yes.", he said.
and btw the dotted portion is where i couldn't get words to add..!!
Any feedback is very valued, thank you. :)