Atom007
Oct 11, 2014
Undergraduate / 'Don't come here again! Loser!' Identity Essay Common app [9]
Hello pls I would I like for someone to comment on my essay.I find it is really important to ask for help on a huge platform like this.Pls I really need help,I was rejected everywhere last year for bad essays.Thank you so much.Here it is:
''Don't come here again! Loser!
"Tunde I thought I asked you not to select this boy?"
"Look at how pathetic he played."
"Go away!Don't return!"
That was Ade yelling at me.I lay on the floor,curled up, wincing at the pain of the bruises I had sustained from being assaulted by my colleagues.Ade was the biggest and strongest amongst us, who were 10-11 year old kids.He chose who would play the zonal football matches.These competitions were very special because young players from all zones of the local government area participated.It was an opportunity for the participants to display their talents and hopefully receive tons of accolades.If any zonal team lost,they would take a compulsory hiatus of two months from playing. If not, they would only have five days.Everyone of course wanted the latter.
Growing up, I wasn't allowed to hang out with other kids in our neighborhood.My parents feared I might turn out a rascal.The only opportunity I had socializing was at school.Football was the main activity at school,but I had unknown reasons for not participating.During breaks certain kids would choose who would play. To make the matches competitive and entertaining,they would select only skilled players. Whenever I was selected, I would run back and forth across the football field whle others scored goals,made saves and resisted their opponents.Those days were for me better than the days when I wasn't chosen at all. I couldn't really decipher why playing came naturally to others and not me? Why? And for the fear of being embarrassed, I just couldn't approach them to teach me how to play: I was also considered weak because I wouldn't be seen climbing a tree,starting a fight or performing backflips. [..]
Hello pls I would I like for someone to comment on my essay.I find it is really important to ask for help on a huge platform like this.Pls I really need help,I was rejected everywhere last year for bad essays.Thank you so much.Here it is:
''Don't come here again! Loser!
"Tunde I thought I asked you not to select this boy?"
"Look at how pathetic he played."
"Go away!Don't return!"
That was Ade yelling at me.I lay on the floor,curled up, wincing at the pain of the bruises I had sustained from being assaulted by my colleagues.Ade was the biggest and strongest amongst us, who were 10-11 year old kids.He chose who would play the zonal football matches.These competitions were very special because young players from all zones of the local government area participated.It was an opportunity for the participants to display their talents and hopefully receive tons of accolades.If any zonal team lost,they would take a compulsory hiatus of two months from playing. If not, they would only have five days.Everyone of course wanted the latter.
Growing up, I wasn't allowed to hang out with other kids in our neighborhood.My parents feared I might turn out a rascal.The only opportunity I had socializing was at school.Football was the main activity at school,but I had unknown reasons for not participating.During breaks certain kids would choose who would play. To make the matches competitive and entertaining,they would select only skilled players. Whenever I was selected, I would run back and forth across the football field whle others scored goals,made saves and resisted their opponents.Those days were for me better than the days when I wasn't chosen at all. I couldn't really decipher why playing came naturally to others and not me? Why? And for the fear of being embarrassed, I just couldn't approach them to teach me how to play: I was also considered weak because I wouldn't be seen climbing a tree,starting a fight or performing backflips. [..]