Writing Feedback / I decided to join a club; there was only one sport that interested me - soccer; narrative essay [3]

There are many changes that can happen in a person's life. Some changes are very tiny and would not affect your life very much. However, other events could be very important and could change a person's whole life, such as getting married, having a baby, or losing someone special. Neither of these happened in my life, but an important event that changed my life was choosing to become part of the wrestling team.

When I went to high school, I thought that all I had to do iswasto concentrate on my academics and forget about everything else, but I was very wrong. Almost all of my friends were involved in some kind of after-school activity, but I was never interested in any. As time passed, I realized that sports cancouldhelp me beneficially change something in my life benefit me, so I decided to join a club. Although my school offered a variety of sports and clubs, there was only one sport that interested me - soccer. I played it since I was a little kid, and I always tried to watch as many games as possible. I actually loved it and I didn't know why I hadn't joined the team during my freshmen or sophomore year. I already knew the coach, team captain and some of the players: and this made it easier to become part of the team. Even though I was pretty athletic, it was a little bit difficult in the beginning, but after a few practices, I got into the shape. When the season ended, I realized that it was a fun time, but I also realized that I didn't learn anything new.

After soccer season ended, (repetitive) I thought that now I would have more free time after school again, but I was wrong. At the end of my last class, some teacher entered the room. It seemed to me he was a teacher, but as it turned out to be, heHe turned out to be a wrestling coach. He talked and laughed with another teacher for a few minutes, and then yelled my name. I was very surprised, and at first I though that I had got in some trouble, but I couldn't think of any reason for getting into troubles . I raised my hand and said that it is me. After a short pause, he asked me if I wanted to join the wrestling team, and it surprised me even more. I was confused for a second, and I asked if he was sure he was looking for the right guy. After a quick conversation, he offered me to come to practice after school, and if I liked it, I cancould stay. I had never done wrestling in my life and I didn't even know anything about it. Confused, I entered the gym where people were already warming up and a couple of my classmates waved at me. When I saw them, I remembered that one of them was offering me to join the team, but I rejected his offer, so I suspected that he somehow was involved in this. However, it was still unclear why coach asked me to join the team. When I saw him, he explained everything. It turned out to be that my classmate, who was practicing at that moment, saw me working out in gym and thought that I could be a good wrestler. and Since I didn't listen to him, he asked coach to talk to me. After that conversation, I stayed for a little bit, and the next day I already was practicing.

That was pretty spontaneous and unexpected decision that I don't regret. During wrestling season I realized something that I didn't realize during soccer season. I learned that school sports are very beneficial, and you meet a lot of new people and learn new things. You are having fun and getting better while doing what you love to do. Practice might go a little longer than planned, and there might be an open gym afterwards for you to get some one on one time with the coach or a friend, but that only makes you better. Wrestling definitely changed my lifestyle. Since that moment I had practices or matches everyday, but I still found time to hang out with friends, study and keep my grades high and getting get enough of sleep. It definitely made me stronger, not only physically, but also mentally. I became more active and punctual, learned how to manage my time wisely and developed good responsible habits. I was taught me to be more disciplined. During the season, we had to remain in our weight-class, and the key to that is eating healthy. And now, when I'm not even involved in any sport, I still eat healthy. This is one of the good habits that remained with me to this day. Thus, on the first sight not significant decision, significantly changed my life . This change provided me a chance to lead a healthy lifestyle as well as a new way of thinking. Getting involved in wrestling was an important change in my life because it gave me the chance to improve myself. I have changed my studying, eating and sleeping habits in a good way. Meanwhile, I improved physical abilities. Thus, this change werewas very beneficial and important for me.

I liked the topic of your essay! There were a few sentence structure and grammar errors but all in all a great essay. Remember to stick with the past tense, as that is mainly what you used throughout. Maybe give more details on how your studying and sleeping habits were affected by wrestling. Avoid repetition (use an online thesaurus to come up with stronger words as replacements). I also think that your hook could be better. Describe a variety of events that could change someone's life (which you did) and then mention wrestling right away. This is a lot more interesting.

Undergraduate / My drawer; Shalwar kameez's, Pakistani dresses, rainbow of colors and designs - admission for U of M [3]

thanks so much! I wasn't actually born in Pakistan but I have a better idea of what to include now.