Undergraduate / People around me always consider me as a bird of a different feather. UC Prompt 1 [8]

Thank you Louisa Mae! After reading your comment, I believe that your point is right. I miss the point of the essay. I'll fix it to the right direction！

Undergraduate / People around me always consider me as a bird of a different feather. UC Prompt 1 [8]

ps Can this essay fit the personal statement for PSU.
The topic is listed below. Thanks again.

Personal Statement - Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This statement is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or academic records. We suggest a limit of 500 words or fewer.

Undergraduate / People around me always consider me as a bird of a different feather. UC Prompt 1 [8]

Hi Louisa Mae ! Here is my revision of my essay of the topic for Penn State. Can you please help me polish it ! Really appreciate! Thanks

Personal Statement - Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This statement is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or academic records. We suggest a limit of 500 words or fewer.[/b]

People around me always consider me as a bird of a different feather. Born in a traditional Asian society that expects everyone to be obedient to the elders like a formula, one input one output, which exceptions are prohibited. I used to go to a conventional Taiwanese element school; students were like cage animals, they follow the meaningless instructions without considering the accuracy of it, like the formula would lead me to success. Regardless of it, I felt I'm just a machine that follows the stereotyped of the last generation. However, this have a great contrast between my personalities. According to my parents' open mind family education, I have the habit of questions everything, and like to seek for challenges. Moreover, I consider myself as an extraordinary person I've ever seen before because I have a creative mind and ingenious thoughts, which always surprise them. While in the traditional school, all I felt was depressed and confused of myself, living without spirit; I couldn't have my own opinion. All I could do is following the worthless instructions, memorized the stubborn textbooks and get a limited mind.

Luckily, my parents' found out this problem, and transfer me to a bilingual elementary school. That's where I grown my confidence and set up my mind of studying abroad. At there, my daily life became more interest and joyful. I was so cherish of having this opportunity, so I always try to keep myself in the best condition, learn as much as I can and be more independent, which prepared myself for studying abroad. Teachers there treat my personality positively; they give me spaces to fully develop my surpassing mind. More importantly, once more I could pick up my interest in drawing or other art relative works. It's where I ultimately develop my enthusiasms in the field of art. I could fully express my thoughts and ideas either on drawing or any other materials; I could even freely discuss my opinions with my teachers and gain useful suggestions without any barrier.

Furthermore, with these drawbacks in my life, this only means more success on my life career. I started to strengthen my skills and abilities in art, such as drawing on paper or even by computer software. I've interacted more with materials, which gives me a more practical understanding on them. I'm confident that this could only benefit me in my future study, architecture. In the recent years, the used of materials has become a significant key point in architecture. The trend that initiates green materials, and green architecture, are a main key on success in the future.

Staying in Taiwan, a narrow view and mind-limited place, could no longer satisfy my eager of learning more knowledge about the realm of architecture. I've discovered the resources in Taiwan couldn't satisfy me. The faculty and facility in Pennsylvania State University are what I'm looking forward to willing to spend my college years. Having this honorable opportunity, no doubt, I would make it valuable and not put my talents and this opportunity to a waste.

Writing Feedback / Study English in an English-speaking Country is the best ? [4]

I think you can try this. " americanaccent " I've try it before, it shows you how native speakers speak. The accent, the flow, and other materials.

Hope this could help you

Undergraduate / People around me always consider me as a bird of a different feather. UC Prompt 1 [8]

Thanks Louisa Mae! This has help me alot!