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Posts by utkarsh3997
Name: Utkarsh Dwivedi
Joined: Nov 24, 2014
Last Post: Nov 24, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: India
School: St. Francis' College

Displayed posts: 2
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utkarsh3997   
Nov 24, 2014
Undergraduate / I have a certain penchant towards video games. MSU essay [2]

Hi all. I'm applying to Michigan State University with the following essay prompt:

Michigan State University recognizes that an assortment of interests, viewpoints, and life experiences are important in student learning and enhance the university community. Describe an experience, passion, or characteristic that illustrates what you would contribute to the MSU community and how this will add to the overall richness of campus life. (400 words)

I need to know if the essay I wrote is good.
The essay:

I have a certain penchant towards video games. I have been an excellent programmer in my school, scoring among the top students in the subject. And I am very creative. It is due to these factors that I want to become a game designer. I want to create lush and beautiful environments, to program an artificial intelligence with an exceptional wit, to give a fictional explanation to the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle by listing some scientific anomalies, and then play and experience it for myself after creating it.

I also have a keen interest in astrophysics. I have, for a long time, been a fan of the immersive environments video games can create and the beautiful galaxies of the outer space. I definitely want to travel through wormholes and black holes, but that requires me to be bound by the laws of physics, wait for the invention of technology that enables interstellar human travel, and risk my own life. I would, instead, prefer to hear sounds in outer space, through a video game of my own creation.

Sound in space? Of course that is possible within a video game. If I were to develop such a game, I would make the game feel realistic by making the gamer use a device that would work on a certain mechanism developed by future humans, calling the device "SoundPort 3.6" and pushing the in-game time a few several decades ahead. Or, I would just let the gamer hear sounds without any specific logic.

Video games extend a human's reach far beyond the existing rules of science. I can defy science and nature to any extent in a video game and even give supporting explanations to such phenomena. I can experience multi layered realms of the world, travel through time, and teleport between distant planets. Through games, I can experience virtually anything that I can imagine.

I believe I am extremely creative. I wish to blend my own ideas and those of my future peers at Michigan State University in developing a successful indie game. I think my passion towards game creation and my creativity would help me thrive in the competitive atmosphere of Michigan State and also add to its cultural diversity.

Thanks for the help!
utkarsh3997   
Nov 24, 2014
Graduate / As a kid I was curious to know the source of sound from that radio - statement of purpose for Msc [8]

Thanks for the help on my essay!
As for yours, is this a personal statement or an answer to a specific essay prompt?
For the time, I'm assuming it's a personal statement.

"... issues in wireless sensor networks like mobility, coverage and connectivity, scalability and heterogeneity have been investigated by..." ==> Continue tense usage as you have done in the rest of the paragraph. Use "were" in place of "have been."

"...the intelligent sensor fusion module and mobile robotics and wireless sensors module." ==> Remove the first "and."

Also, what firstywrites and Archlefirth pointed out. Especially where you wrote that all courses were taught in English. Remove it. It is irrelevant.

Overall, I think your essay is great content-wise. Goodluck!
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