Posts by briannalottchea

briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

The assignment was to write an analysis paper. My professor said my topic is fine, but my paper needs a lot of work. She basically told me I need to rewrite it because it is not an analysis. Any feedback on how to rewrite this into more of an analysis paper will be greatly appreciated. She also only gave us a day to fix them so I need this feedback as soon as possible, it's due in 18 hours. Plus, All quotes are cited, I just wasn't allowed to post the websites.

American Made Sweets
I have always loved to cook. My dad is a cook at a southern takeout restaurant, and he taught my brother and me at a young age. As we got older, my brother and I found a passion for cooking. My brother and I are around the same skill level when it comes to cooking, but when it comes to baking, I take the cake. Baking has been such an important part of my life for so long and I'm truly blessed to have found something I have such a deep passion for. One of my favorite places online to look for recipes is Pinterest. While I was looking for desserts to make for a 4th of July party, I found one on Pinterest that I just had to make!

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briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

I'm a little confused. The topic is the topic I have to go with because I've already submitted it once. This is basically a revision I need to do. I'm not sure what you mean by support my claim because we've done another paper since this one (before we got this back) which was a position paper where I took a certain aspect from this paper (That it was a box cake mix) and argued the reasons why boxed mixes are better than scratch mixes. I used evidence to support my claim and the opposite. I'm just not sure how I am supposed to claim something in this essay. I obviously thought this was an analysis paper because it discusses the topic and explains how it was made with the different opinions and views on the same cake. I'm just so confused!!

briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

The title is more of just a play on the fact that the cake is an American Flag cake. I try to come up with clever titles the best I can. Basically, the topic of the paper has to be this specific American Flag cake. Some examples from my class are pencils(don't ask), cheer-leading, surfing and soccer. I chose this topic because I like baking. I'm sorry if this is redundant, I honestly just don't really understand what this paper is supposed to be. Could the paper focus on baking as a whole instead of the specific cake? And then just have the cake play a significant role in the paper in some way? How would I have it focus on baking if I can? I don' t know where to start! This is the only paper I've ever had trouble writing! I'm usually a pretty decent writer, so you can imagine how frustrating this is haha.

briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

Okay, so do you think I would be able to use the recipe I used since I made it from box mixes and use a recipe from one of my sources (all of which baked from scratch)? And then I compare the way they looked and the way mine and, I assume, hers tasted based on her blog (because I don't know haha)? How would I incorporate the other sources I have? I assume I could use Elissa's blog source somehow pertaining to how she came up with the idea for the cake, but I'm not sure how to use the other source unless it was possible for me to compare both recipes to mine, if they're even different. Sue got her idea from Glory who got her idea from Elissa who created the idea, so it is very possible that Sue and Glory used the same recipe. Elissa did not post her recipe. Thank you so much for putting up with all of my questions, by the way!

briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

Okay, that makes sense. I'm currently working on a one to two page portfolio cover letter that is also due tomorrow. What timezone are you in? I fear that I'm going to be up all night working on these papers and, if it's not too much of a bother, I was hoping you could possibly look over my cover letter as well. I've never written one and I want to make sure it is formatted correctly. I'm in the East Coast timezone so it's 11:05 pm right now. If you'd much rather go to bed, please don't feel obligated to stay up with me. I just want to make sure everything is the best it can be before my class at 3:00 pm Eastern time.

briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Undergraduate / my opinion on abortion - murdering a child cold-blooded [2]

The weak without a saying can be eliminated from the face of the planet. Is this fair? Does it make it okay to have a saying on someone else's life when that person can not speak or think for himself. Even when this is not morally okay 3,700 children die from abortion daily. A parent role is the most beautiful thing that can happen, but why do people choose to not accept it?
Surrounded by a good enough percentage of people who believe that the idea of abortion is okay, I stand for what I believe in. Getting rid of a child when in the womb, even when the child looks like a little alien or ~~like~~ a grape, it's still considered ~~like~~ killing an innocent child . What people don't realize is that even though it may not look like much or seem like much, that little creature inside already has a beating heart. As I run the subject through some friends, the discussion goes, "what if they where raped ?" or " what if they can't afford a child? " or "what if the baby is deformed? " I s this really what they are asking, or is this a distraction from the real problem?
Children conceived ~~because of~~from rape are aborted because they stand as the unwanted. If ~~abortion was all that is~~that is all abortion is, then why shouldn't we just kill ~~the ones~~those who are undesirable; the old, the poor, the corrupted. They say no to that because that means "killing people".F unny thing is, scientifically, the child that is already conceived is ~~already~~ a person too . A person is someone who has a beating heart and that's the first thing a fetus has when in process of being formed. So you're indeed killing a person even when you think you aren't. Despite the fact that the child is unwanted from the mother who is carrying it, does not mean someone else wouldn't want him/her. There's a numerous ~~count~~amount of people who wish to adopt a child, so even when a mother does not wish to keep the child, there is still the option of adoption instead of slaughtering the little human being.
Money has become a problem in today's economy, making it difficult to raise a child. It may insinuateI'm not sure if this word is being used correctly, however, I could be wrong. some to think about aborting because of this reason. When you really think about it, a very high percentage of children are born into poverty in today's society. Besides, at this moment, we have the government helping out the guardians with financial need expensesReword this. . Making abortion right only because someone is not able to be financially stable is not a reasonable controversy because of how much help the government is providing for those who need it.
People decide to abort children who are disabled because they believe that those children will live a complicated life. This doesn't make it anymore humane to murder the child that is presently alive in the womb. Although it may seem like the right thing to do, to take away its life so that it wouldn't have to live in the terrible situation of being different.Because you have although in the beginning of this sentence, you need to finish the thought after the comma. It sort of "falls off" at the period. A lot of men and women, girls and boy are living through that right now and they are just fine with the situation. Does being special really make the child or a grown person any less of a human? It's barbaric to kill a child just because of its flaws.
Every soul deserves to live even when it' s a mistake, imperfect, or unplanned. Although people disagree with my opinion on the idea regarding abortion, I still believe that it is cold-blooded.IfT he thought ~~about~~of murdering a child and using one of these reasons to support your reasoning is just ludicrous. I believe that people should look through all possibilities ~~other~~rather than just death.

The paper is good, just some grammatical errors. And I apologize if everything I've added is not completely correct. This is my first time editing someone else's paper. I hope everything looks okay. I did the best I could! But by the looks of the content of this essay, they'd be fools not to accept you! :)

briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Letters / In this portfolio I have included all of my work over the course of the semester [10]

I've only helped with one other paper and I don't really have time to do another one, so I am posting my Portfolio Cover Letter in this thread. I hope that is okay and that you will be able to help me to the best of your ability. Thanks again!

December 1, 2014

Dr. (Professor) and Miss. (Teacher Assistant)
English 101*75 Lecture Class
(College)
(City, State, Zip Code)

Dear Dr. (Professor) and (TA),
In this portfolio I have included all of my work over the course of the semester. I have arranged my work in order of which styles of writing I am most familiar with to what I am least familiar with. I feel as though my range of writing has broadened significantly because I now know how to write in certain styles that, before this class, I'd never even heard of.

I am most familiar with the literacy narrative style of writing because it resembles a typical narrative, in which I am fairly good at. Incorporating the literacy aspect was a little challenging; however, I found a way to incorporate how I learned to love to write while still being able to tell a story. I talk a lot, so when prompted with a narrative assignment, I jump for joy! I encountered a bit of trouble with length as well. After taking some time to overlook my narrative and consider different aspects of the story, I learned how to elaborate more in depth and get my paper to the required length and then some.

I've listed the profile second in my portfolio because I've written papers similar to this style of writing. While I've never specifically interviewed someone, I've done a lot of writing on specific people and their lives. I feel as though this style of writing broadened the, formerly narrow, technique that I've learned. I interviewed my friend for this paper and I found it somewhat difficult to gather the correct information I needed because I was not sure what questions to ask her. After I figured these out, however, I was able to interview my friend with ease. The interview went very smoothly because we know each other very well. I was able to predict most of her answers, although, there was a lot I learned about her that I was surprised I didn't already know. I really appreciated this assignment because it gave me a chance to view my friend from a different perspective.

The next paper in my portfolio is my position paper. I have never done a paper like this before, believe it or not. However, I had a lot of fun writing it. I learned a lot about the different preferences people have towards box and scratch cake mixes. I also learned a lot about certain things inside of box mixes that I never even considered. I, again, had a bit of trouble figuring out how to lengthen it, but I was soon able to come up with some other aspects of the debate that I'd only briefly discussed. I found it fairly simple to argue my opinion because I am a very opinionated person. I have been told by my dad that I should be a lawyer because I am very good at arguing, so this paper gave me no trouble in that department.

I've placed my analysis paper last because, not only have I never written one, but I did not quite grasp the concept of writing it. I am most disappointed in this paper as well because I feel like I have the God-given potential to write a well-written piece, I just wasn't familiar with the concept of an analysis. I found it relatively easy to talk about baking because I love to bake. Unfortunately, it was difficult for me to find sources for my paper and for me to write in a style that I don't completely understand. I've learned that I really need to become more familiar with the style of writing I am attempting before I attempt it. I hope I will gain more experience in this style of writing so that I can broaden my writing skills even further.

Please let me know if this is formatted correctly and written properly.

briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Letters / In this portfolio I have included all of my work over the course of the semester [10]

Hahahahaha, I laughed outloud when I read that because I actually have Chopped on tv in the background! It helps me if I have something quiet going on while I write because I am able to focus better. I don't know, I'm weird lol. But okay that makes a lot of sense actually, and thanks for being willing to stay up with me! I don't know if you saw it but I posted my letter on this thread. (I hope I'm allowed to do that!) I have to edit another paper in order to be able to post another thread and I just don't have the time right now.

briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Letters / In this portfolio I have included all of my work over the course of the semester [10]

Awesome! I'm going to get working on it! and as for the letter, my teacher gave us guidelines:

There are any number of things you can tailor your portfolio towards showing, but you may want to organize it so that it highlights one of the following:

- your improvement as a writer if you feel you have improved significantly, or
- your range as a writer if you feel that it has expanded over the course of the semester.

I chose the second option so hopefully it reflects that! She also wrote:
write an introductory letter that explains how you've organized your portfolio and what your portfolio shows.

I hope this helps!

briannalottchea

Dec 2, 2014

Writing Feedback / Should teachers be paid more when some people gain huge money, out of scale of their work importance [5]

In today's society, people have many choices for their career,.S ome of the important jobs are undervalued, whereas economic works are complimented. Some people are of the opinion that certain workers, like nurses, doctors and teachers, are not underpaid, whereaschoose another word, it sounds repetitive. other people, like actors or company bosses, are not overpaid. Nevertheless, I am inclined to believe that actors,~~star and~~ actresses and people who run large companies are worthy of huge sums of money that they are being paid,.owing to the following reasons.reword this.

Nobody can deny that there are certain workers, like nurses, doctors and teachers, who are essential to the fabric of society, and should ~~are~~be rewarded appropriately. However, in any ~~work~~profession~~alsoexist~~ two issues exist,.~~such as~~These issues are risks and advantages. Although certain workers are underpaid, they have a stable and leisure life. Furthermore, certain professionals' jobs, like teachers and doctors,are also appreciated dignity and ethics, those is priceless gift that many people are to exchange their large number of money for it but that cannot.I'm sorry, I can't really understand this sentence.
On the other hand, although film actors ~~and~~, actresses orand company bosses are paid large ~~number~~amounts of money, their steady life is uncertain,.F or instance, some film actors are overpaid for their role, but then the unemployment has stayed with them for a long timeThis is unclear . As be all aforementioned, it is not easy to show particular criterions for payment, but a majority of people usually base it on experience, while others believe that young people are creative and they can integrate easily the globalization, can apply effectively modern technology, that are grounded arguments. Besides, I think that people make products, which people favorite or people are satisfied their valuable metal, so that they are willing to pay a large sum of money to use such products.I can't really understand this sentence either. Just needs to be reworded.

~~In conclusion,~~It's almost always not a good idea to end your essay with "in conclusion". I am convinced that although certain professional's jobs, like nurses, teachers or doctors, are underpaid, they get invaluable rewards, while the work's film actors or company bosses are uncertain, so that they are worthy of their remuneration. Experience, creation and value of the product are liable criterionsAutocorrect says this is not a word. to decide amount of the remuneration that people get.

Is this a college essay? The content is there, it just needs some reworking. I hope I helped!!

briannalottchea

Dec 3, 2014

Letters / In this portfolio I have included all of my work over the course of the semester [10]

Srikanth, I'm not sure what you're talking about.

Louisa, thank you for the revisions! I am currently working on my Analysis. I accidentally fell asleep last night :/
Oh, and was the heading correct? With the date and the professor name, etc.?

briannalottchea

Dec 3, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

Would you be able to help me with a thesis statement? This is what I have written so far (I hope it's on the right track to an analysis paper.) :

I have always loved to cook. My dad is a cook at a southern takeout restaurant, and he taught my brother and me at a young age. As we got older, my brother and I found a passion for cooking. My brother and I are around the same skill level when it comes to cooking, but when it comes to baking, I take the cake. Baking has been such an important part of my life for so long and I'm truly blessed to have found something I have such a deep passion for. In lieu of a 4th of July party coming up, I was given the task to bake a cake. I started looking online for recipes and I found one on a blog owned by Sue Sparks. She posted steps explaining how to assemble the cake along with the recipe she used. I had decided from the get-go that I would be making my cake from a box mix simply because scratch mixes can be unreliable and this cake was for a lot of people at a party.

I used the first couple of sentences from my original paper because she didn't say that part was bad. She even laughed at my pun haha. Her bracket stating that she didn't know what I was analyzing started at "On of my favorite places online..."

briannalottchea

Dec 3, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

Sorry for the third post in a row, but I've just realized that the sources I thought used scratch mixes, used box mixes like I did. I could've sworn one of them used a scratch mix and posted the recipe but I guess I was wrong. Only one of my sources used a scratch recipe but she didn't post it because she did not like the way it turned out. I'm stumped! What do I do now?!

briannalottchea

Dec 3, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

I talked to my professor today and she has given me until tomorrow at 5:00 est. to turn the paper in. She also told me exactly what to focus on and what to analyze so, since tomorrow is a study day and I don't have classes, I am going to spend all day working on it. I hope you will be able to look over it for me before I have to turn it in. Thanks so much for putting up with me thus far! :)

briannalottchea

Dec 4, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

Thanks so much! I've gotten three paragraphs out of the way and I'm currently working on a fourth out of six! I hope it turns out to be an analysis! I'm a narrative writer and a story teller in person so I can't help but tell stories! I really hope there isn't too much story in this paper! I'm doing the best I can to explain the reasons why some of the aspects I'm analyzing are the way they are.

briannalottchea

Dec 4, 2014

Writing Feedback / Should teachers be paid more when some people gain huge money, out of scale of their work importance [5]

That's awesome! I have friends from Vietnam!

briannalottchea

Dec 4, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

Okay, I've gotten most of it out of the way. I'm just having trouble with an introduction, a conclusion and a thesis statement. The thesis statement is not allowed to be more than a sentence. I really need to finish around 4:15, 4:30 at the latest so I can make it to my professor's office by 5:00. Here's what I have so far:

American Made Sweets
One aspect of this cake that I really love is its patriotism. I come from a very patriotic family and I have always grown up learning to respect those who've died for my freedom and to always stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. This cake reminds me of growing up because it makes you feel like you're eating American pride! It couldn't be more patriotic unless Uncle Sam was eating it on the top of the Statue of Liberty on the 4th of July in 1776. This cake, despite being very specifically an American Flag, is well-rounded enough for a variety of holidays. It can be made for any America-celebrating holiday as well such as Labor Day, Veterans Day, or even to support America during the Olympics (Sparks).

Another aspect of this cake that makes it spectacular is how much fun it is to make! The process is time consuming, but the end product is definitely worth it. The cake is a four layer cake with frosting between each layer. The process requires four eight inch round cakes: one white, one blue and two red. The red and white cakes are cut in half because not all of them are needed. Once they're cut in half, both bottoms of the red cakes are set aside along with the bottom of the white cake. Four inch circles need to be cut from the middle of one of the remaining red halves and the remaining white half. The blue cake, still fully intact, will have a four inch circle cut out of it as well. Assembling this cake is my favorite part because it's fun to see how it all comes together. With a red layer on the bottom, I stack a white layer then another red layer with frosting on the top of each layer. The blue layer is a little tricky because I have to frost the inside of the hole that I cut out of it. Once the inside is frosted, I add the four inch white and red circles and, finally, the cake is assembled.

I like seeing the layers before they're frosted because all of the colors are showing in a really interesting way, but not in the way that resembles the American Flag. I frost it in a simple white cream cheese frosting with no decoration because, as Glory Albin, the author of Glorious Treats, stated on her blog, "I opted for an extra simple decorating style on the outside of the cake, knowing the 'wow factor' would be on the inside" (Albin). The colors inside the cake would make it stand out in a unique and creative way. Once the cake is cut in to, the American Flag is visible. The colors are so bright and absolutely gorgeous! The white stripes really make the red and blue pop! The colors almost look as if they're neon, they're so bright. The cake came out to remarkably resemble that familiar American icon.

One of the best parts of this cake is the look on everyone's face when it is cut into. No one is expecting to see an American Flag on the inside of a cake! Elissa Bernstein, author of 17andbaking, writes, "I was floored by how beautifully colored all the layers were, and how much it really resembled a flag!" (Bernstein). When everyone sees the cake, they are surprised that an American Flag inside of cake can even be possible! I love making this cake because of the warm responses I get from everyone who's able to enjoy it. And let's face it, who in America does not love the American Flag? There's an aspect of this cake that I find interesting as well. The flavors of the cake can be altered to fit the colors of the cake! Next time I create this cake, I plan on adding strawberry and blueberry flavoring to the red and blue layers because it will add an extra special surprise that no one will expect!

The American pride, fun creation process, bright colors and look on people's faces are all a part of what makes this cake over the top.

briannalottchea

Dec 4, 2014

Research Papers / American Made Sweets - analysis paper [18]

I finished the paper and turned it in. My deadline was at 5:00 eastern time. My professor allowed me to use first person because the topic was so difficult. She asked me the reasons why I picked my topic and those reasons were: I like that it's patriotic, I like the colors, I like the process of making it and peoples reactions when the cake is cut into. She was okay with it being opinion based.