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Posts by yonman
Joined: Jul 9, 2009
Last Post: Dec 3, 2011
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Posts: 47  

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yonman   
Jul 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

Hi everyone!

I should let you know English is not my specialty.

My teacher is hard and this is my final year and I need to do well.

The task is to write an analytical essay on a topic you chose. I chose love makes people do crazy things. With the general theme of love basically.

This is my intro so far:

In today's society as well as the past love played an important role in people's lives. Experiencing this feeling may happen instantly, or it could take time to develop. When in love the emotions felt are so unique yet each time the experience is different. Even though love sounds great, there are times when it can lead to a dramatic downfall. The feeling of love can lead to violence and anger if worthy people thought to be honest devote time to dishonestly ruin relationships. Love is a powerful feeling, and sometimes it forces people to do crazy things. In William Shakespeare's story Othello, he portrayed and developed the topic of love to destroy people though anger,violence,mistrust along with uncertainty. Anger felt when your wife cheats on you can lead to devastating consequences.

This was my introduction with my thesis. Please give me some hints if you could? Thanks!!

The next body paragraph will be about Othello's anger fueled by Iago when he assumes his wife is cheating on him.

The rough is copy is due tomorrow so I'll post more up soon because I'll probably be up all night. Going for a nap now though

Cya
yonman   
Jul 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

By the way I assume you're British since you suggested that I start with a quote, but my teacher said never do this.I'm from Canada.

My new topic sentence is "When people are in love the emotions felt are very unique, but the power of love can sometimes make man do crazy things."
yonman   
Jul 10, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

Thanks Sean!

It was captains orders to start the topic off generally and then talk about how its used in Othello. I need to work on my intro more but I think my topic sentence that I posted has improved to be more engaging. Like I said I no writer!

This is my first body paragraph: and I think it needs work

The character Othello is fueled by anger and starts to change when Iago speaks of Desdemona cheating on him. Once man and women are happily married, all seems well. If someone is suspected of cheating on their lover, it can drastically alter their state of mind. "Oh,now forever farewell the tranquil mind...Othello's occupation's gone."(Shakespeare 3,3 399-409) In this situation Othello starts to lose his dignity. He cannot handle mentally whats going on and starts to melt down. He even speaks of resigning from his job as general. In addition to love interfering with his career, it also makes him very angry. Iago's taunting of the handkerchief being in possession of Cassio further infuriates him. "If it be that, or any that was her, It speaks against her with the other proofs"(Shakespeare 3,3 500-501) This statement by Iago makes Othello think that Desdemona is having an affair with Cassio. Othello's anger can get so overwhelming that he fell into an epileptic seizure. Iago takes full advantage of this. "Nature would not...Handkerchief!-oh devil" (Shakespeare 4,1 48-53) The false affair enrages Othello so much that he falls into a epileptic seizure. His anger is starting to affect his health and well being. The entire affair has been caused by Iago's mistrust and his ability to attack peoples weak points.
yonman   
Jul 10, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

Thanks Sean for the feedback. Well its a little late to change my entire thesis since I just can't spark up ideas in a jiffy, and I'm suppose to have a rough copy done and I don't think its going to be finished.

Also, if you look at things in a more general perspective you may find my thesis more clear. I'd think that Othello was destroyed by mistrust, due to the fact that Iago lied that his love life was being cheated. So if you look at it this way in a more general sense then does it become more clear?

Also Roderigo was destroyed by love too I think. Since Iago told him that he would eventually be with Desdemona. Iago used Roderigo's love for Desdemona to eventually kill him.

If my thesis still seems unclear maybe you could help me alter it a bit so that I can still use the ideas that I came up with?

Thanks
yonman   
Jul 10, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

EF_Sean

Hmm. well this is so sick. I just finished 90% of my essay. Thank you for telling me its crap. It is really appreciated that you take the time to help me.

I will pull an all-nighter to try and get it done on time.

I think I can salvage a bit of what I have from what I wrote. Yes I agree the topic "jealousy is an indicator of love." Now I must get about 10 quotes to prove this.

I just have one question, what could be in my 3-4 body paragraphs when talking about this topic? I guess I could write about Cassio and Desdemona. But I really would not know how to make 3-4 body paragraphs out of this topic.

I mean in my previous thesis I picked out love destroys everyone by anger violence and mistrust...but for this topic I guess the same could be applied?

Could the topic be jealousy is an indicator of love and revenge?

Thanks
yonman   
Jul 11, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

All this thinking has made me confused. Like I said writing essays is not my strong point epically on difficult topics like this.

I came up with two ideas for my 2 main body paragraphs and tried my best to relate them to topic Jealousy and love get confused. I'm not sure if I'm not the right track:

1. Othello's jealousy confused his love for Desdemona even though she was honest and when people are in love that's a main trait. I thought the same thing happened to Cassio.

2. The confusion of Othello's feelings of love and jealousy in the end made him commit suicide.

* I was going to change the topic to Jealously over powers love but I couldn't see how that played into Othello's tragedy.
yonman   
Jul 11, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

EF_Simone

Wow I'm on the right track...that never happens. And yes he wanted to see all rough work.

But when Othello killed himself how was that jealousy overpowering love? I'm asking this because its a key element in the play and I have to have it in my essay.

Thanks
yonman   
Jul 11, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

Ok, these are the ideas I have for the topic Jealousy overpowers love.

1. Roderigo's love was overpowered by Jealousy and it lead to his death.

2. Othello's love for Desdemona was overpowered by jealousy.

These are the two main ones I have which are not enough. I was thinking of saying that Iago's love for Othello was overpowered by Jealousy but I don't even know if Iago really has respect for Othello before he upgraded Cassio. Plus its not even really love.

Maybe I should focus on the topic Jealousy destroys everyone through hatred, revenge and mistrust?
yonman   
Jul 11, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

EF_Sean

Sorry but I don't understand you're logic here. I understand you're main points but I could not come up with enough information to prove the points. Like I said I really am a bad reader and cannot just pull great ideas out of the air like you guys.

I'm going to resort to Jealousy destroys everyone through hatred, revenge and mistrust since I think its my only option here.
yonman   
Jul 12, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

Alright here is my third attempt, please tell me what you think and edit. I will try to embed love into this as well.

Jealousy has been part of human existence since centuries ago, and can affect all kinds of people, from the poorest beggar to the wealthiest king. It's powerful enough to lead men to steal, lie, cheat and display other horrible acts towards their friends. The emotion has the ability, if used by the right individual to change insecure people's minds into thinking the truth. Even though they are only believing lies. Furthermore the feeling can also cloud ones thoughts so that jealousy overpowers all other feelings. In William Shakespeare's play Othello, he portrayed and developed the topic Jealousy consumes people through hatred, misplaced trust and revenge which eventually leads to tragedy. The first step towards jealousy in Othello is hatred against a Moorish general.

...
yonman   
Jul 16, 2009
Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

Ok so the task is have an outline by tomorrow on an argument you develop. I need to aim for 4 body paragraphs.

How is my argument?

Big Brother has ultimate control over Oceania's communist society because they control and alter the past, therefore controlling the future.

My problem is that I can't seem to develop any arguments to write about what I made up. I can only think about BB changing the truth about the history but I dont think that effects the proles.
yonman   
Jul 16, 2009
Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

hmm but do the proles even listen to the BB? They don't even have telescreens but I guess they hear from it from riots and such, yea you're right.

But how can I write 4 body paragraphs on this? Keep in mind this is my first argumentative essay
yonman   
Jul 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

Thats what I usually score but I'm trying to get into University so its not good enough. Heres the essay:

Jealously Consumes
Jealousy has been part of human existence since centuries ago, and can affect all kinds of people, from the poorest beggar to the wealthiest king. It's powerful enough to lead men to steal, lie, cheat and display other horrible acts towards their friends. The emotion has the ability, if used by the right individual to change insecure people's minds into thinking the truth. In this case the truth was deceit. Furthermore the feeling can also cloud ones thoughts so that jealousy overpowers all other feelings. In William Shakespeare's play Othello, he portrayed and developed the topic Jealousy consumes people through hatred, misplaced trust and revenge which eventually leads to tragedy. The first step towards jealousy in Othello is hatred against a Moorish general.

Hatred in this play was one of the initial emotions in the characters that lead to tragedy. Iago, who was currently third lieutenant of the army in Venice was jealous that Othello promoted Cassio to second lieutenant. This act caused Iago to hate Othello and think of a way to get back at him.

"Despise me
If I do not. Three great ones of the city,
In personal suit to make me his lieutenant,
Off-capped to him; and, by the faith of man...
Nonsuits my mediators For 'Certes,' says he, (Shakespeare I,I 8-11/17)

Iago was jealous because he thinks he deserves that rank much more than Cassio. Cassio only learned battle techniques from books Iago mentioned. In addition three important noble men from Venice asked Othello to promote Iago, but Othello still went with his decision. This jealousy was only the beginning of what's later to come and what was ultimately going to destroy Iago. Iago's jealousy and hatred increase when he suspects that Othello slept with his wife.

"I hate the Moor,
And it is thought abroad that 'twixt my sheets
He's done my office. I know not if't be true,
But I, for mere suspicion in that kind,
Will do as if for surety" (Shakespeare I, III 430-434).
Iago doesn't really have any proof of this happening, but he believes it anyway. His hatred for Othello made him believe this vague rumour being spread. Clearly his jealousy from previous scenes has made him gullible to believe anything Othello did, even if it was a rumour. Near the ending of the play, when Emilia realizes that Iago used his jealousy induced scheme to cause all the horrible acts he committed, she had great hate for him. ."If he say so, may his pernicious soul Rot half a grain a day! He lies to th' heart." (Shakespeare V, II 190-192). Emilia knowing that she helped her husband do these terrible deeds she blabbered out everything which then in turn made Iago stab her out of hate for the truth knowing his scheme was ruined. His evil plan was created in the first place when he persuaded people to believe him, which he used misplaced trust, to attack people's weak points.

The plays tragic flaw was caused when mistrust was used against Othello and Cassio which leads to jealousy. Earlier on in the play in Iago's soliloquy he states that Othello was of free and open nature. "The Moor is of a free and open nature, That thinks men honest that but seem to be so" (Shakespeare I, III 442-443). Iago was speaking about Othello and telling that he was an honest and open minded man, and that his plot will work to his advantage because of that. Also, Othello already knows that Iago was fairly honest since he probably worked with Othello for sometime; hence he was third lieutenant and has earned respect. Iago uses Othello's honest spirit against him so that Othello rewards Iago with a promotion to second lieutenant. "Come, go with me apart I will withdraw, To furnish me with some swift means of death For the fair devil. Now art thou my lieutenant." (Shakespeare III, III 543-546). This was a major mistake made by Othello since his trust for Iago has risen even though what Iago told him about his marriage was untruthful. Iago can now cloud Othello's mind with jealousy which overpowers his love for Desdemona. Later on, in the play when Iago proves to Othello that Cassio was indeed cheating on him Othello's jealousy skyrockets. Ironically this entire plot was created by Iago and his ability to be perceived as an honest man when his reality was full of lies. As Othello listens to the conversation of Iago and Cassio, Othello was influenced by Iago's mistrust because of what he was told earlier on about the affair. "I marry her! what? a customer! Prithee, bear some charity to my wit: do not think it so unwholesome.Ha, ha, ha!" (Shakespeare IV, I 137-140). As Othello was interpreting what was going on, he has no doubts not to believe what Iago was say earlier was true. Not only was Othello's mind clouded by mistrust but so was Roderigo's. He was also foolish and easily manipulated by Iago's false honourable nature. Iago also states that he's a fool and it's easy to gain money this way. "Thus do I ever make my fool my purse: For I mine own gain'd knowledge should profane, If I would time expend with such a snipe. But for my sport and profit."

(Shakespeare I, III 426-429). Since Roderigo was jealous of Othello marrying Desdemona he was willing to sell all his land. Then they will both to go Venice since booth of them have issues their. Both of these dishonest despicable schemes forced Cassio and Othello to plan their revenge, ultimately killing them.

In Iago's final steps towards domination he gets rid of Cassio, while Othello is fuelled with false revenge, thus leading to his death. Iago has made Roderigo jealous through revenge, when he tells Cassio has been sleeping with Desdemona. "Besides, the knave is handsome, young, and hath all those requisites in him that folly and green minds look after: a pestilent complete knave; and the woman hath found him already." (Shakespeare II, I 267-270). Rodrigo finally believes that Desdemona and Cassio are having an affair he will pick a fight with Cassio which also conquers a bit of Iago's revenge since he heard a rumour that Cassio slept with his wife. Roderigo also does this act out of revenge since he loves Desdemona. So he does carry though with the plan and frames Cassio. "Beat me?/ Dust thou/ prate rouge?" (Shakespeare II, III 157-158). Roderigo successfully got Cassio fired and extinguished a bit of Iago's jealousy in the process. The next crime Roderigo commits will be his last. Iago, still fuelled by revenge plans a scheme with Roderigo to eliminate Cassio so that he cannot take Othello's place and Desdemona will not leave Cyprus. Really Iago wants both Cassio and Roderigo to kill each other since if any one of them lives it will jeopardize his plans. "I know/ his gait/, 'tis he/.-Villain/, thou diest!" (Shakespeare V, I 124). Roderigo was pumped with lust and revenge when attempting to kill Cassio since of the alleged rumours that he was sleeping with Desdemona. Iago was so focused on revenge that he kills Roderigo to hide he truth and keep his treasures. On the other hand Othello, blazing with rage and revenge heads to Desdemona's room. Once he arrives he cannot believe what she was saying and thinks she's was lying, even though Desdemona truly loves him. Her love for him was exaggerated when she went against her father word to marry him, but Othello was too jealous and it has consumed the love and truth that Desdemona was trying to show. He smothers her and then when he learns the truth he cannot take the truth of what he did and stabs Iago out of pure revenge. Not successful in killing the villain he commits suicide. "Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought Perplexed in the extreme" (Shakespeare V II 405-406). He could not take the guilt of what he had just done. Othello could now live with the lies that lead him to this horrid vengeance.

The play Othello, William Shakespeare described jealousy through hatred, misplaced trust and revenge which all eventually lead to tragedy. Initially hatred against Othello began when he promoted Cassio instead of Iago, as well as the rumours that he was sleeping with Iago's wife. Emilia also hated her husband for the jealous plot he planned. Next Iago uses Othello's open and free nature to cloud his mind with lies of the affair Cassio was having with his wife. He also gains Roderigo's trust and tricks him into thinking that he will help him be with Desdemona, since their both against Othello. Lastly, jealousy leads to revenge when Othello kills his wife even though she was truthful, Othello was brainwashed by lies and his love was overpowered. Iago's revenge was going as planned until his wife tattled the truth. Othello's revenge leads him to kill himself, because he couldn't continue to live with the deeds he committed. Jealousy was an evil emotion and one should be careful who he or she trusts, and have an independent mind which cannot be manipulated by lies.
yonman   
Jul 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

EF_Sean

Thank you for your analysis. I have the tendency I guess to summarize when I don't have a deep understanding of whats going on, which unfortunately happens quite a lot. These were my teachers comments, perhaps you agree?

-at times you have some pretty solid ideas, others are lost in your lack of explanation
- Sounds too conversational
- treat all as past events
yonman   
Jul 18, 2009
Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

For my topic could I argue that when Oceania was practicing communism it inevitability lead to totalitarianism.

Is this really an argument though and if its not true how could I manipulate that thesis so it makes sense?
yonman   
Jul 19, 2009
Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

Sorry to interrupt your discussion.

I thinking about the paradoxical nature of this novel and was wondering if you could help me think of an argument for my essay.
yonman   
Jul 19, 2009
Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

Please disregard my last message.

How is this argumentative thesis?

The Government of Oceania controls the people very effectivly through mistrust and torture, but this is not a moral way to treat people because people deserve to live freely.

Can I talk about the paradox of the Ministries if I use this thesis?

These are my arguments but found it hard to expand upon them.

-The Ministries do have total control over the people so that anything they say people will believe and in that sense poeple seem fairly happy

-but this is not the right way to treat people because they are really believing carefully contructed lies

-Torturing people does get the Party to believe what they want
-but this act is not right and there should be other ways of manupulation if its nessary.

I'm finding this difficult and risk failing so any help on this would be appreaciated!

Thanks
yonman   
Jul 20, 2009
Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

So I'm basically giving up on the 1984 essay because I know I'd fail it, but I appreciate the time you gave to help me.

Now moving onto a different topic my new book I have to write a analytical essay on The Curious incident of the dog in the night-time.

I was thinking how I could write how Christopher changed and what he learned.

What do you think?
yonman   
Jul 24, 2009
Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Ok well I'm down to the wire now and this the final stretch.

I need to do a book symposium on The Curious incident of the dog in the night-time.

You probably know the point of the symposium is to tell my classmates wow this is great book and would encourage them to read it, without telling to much of the book.

I was thinking of telling them how difficult it is having autism and how normal everyday tasks are incredibly challenging, but even still Chris is able to find out who killed Wellington.

Please tell me what you think and tell me what I should add and stuff!

Thanks
yonman   
Jul 24, 2009
Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

This is my symposium so far please edit it for me and tell me what else it needs:

Character Analysis:

Christopher Boone: An autistic 15 year old boy who is the novels protagonist. He is a mathematical genius, but cannot interpret people's emotions properly. Through his eyes the world is terrifying place where jokes can cause confusion and new places can lead to extreme fear. He sometimes overcomes these fears with isolation himself or working on math.

Ed Boone: Christopher's dad who is very patient with him but his dishonesty breaks up their relationship. He works as a heating engineer and took care of Chris for 2 years since his dad told him his mom died.

Judy Boone: Christopher's mother who is very hot tempered but learns to cope with Chris's disability and really cares for him.

Siobhan: A teacher who works at Chris's school. She is Christopher's friend and mentor and teaches him how society works and how he should act accordable.

Mrs. Shears: Christopher's Neighbor who owned the now murdered dog, Wellington. Her Husband was known for having an affair with Christopher's mother.

Mr. Shears: Little is known about this character, but later on we find that he's actually a selfish man.

Wellington: A Large black poodle who was killed with a garden fork.

Mrs. Alexander: Christopher's elderly neighbor who attempts to help him.

Toby: Christopher's pet rat

Summary:

This is a very gripping murder mystery, as the writer Mark Haddon takes you inside the mind of someone who views the world entirely different than most people do. Christopher was diagnosed with autism therefore he adores puzzles and is a great character to investigate the murder of a black poodle, Wellington. His autism however creates severe problems so that if someone has physical contact with him, he would get really angry and become violent. This makes him an interesting detective since he cannot interpret people's emotions beyond what his mentors had taught him, so he must follow certain rules he learned as well as face his own fears to solve the mystery. The simplicity of Haddon's writing creates a descriptive world of what Christopher is going through. The author writes in a way that you understand how Christopher's mind works and allows the reader to understand what is going on even when Chris is oblivious. This short read will go by quickly, but the true meaning of this reading will last much longer.
yonman   
Jul 25, 2009
Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Maybe it's been a while since you read the book?

Here's an example to show that Chris was fearful of the world:

"FEARtotal=FEARnewplaceXFEARnear father= constant"- one of Chris's equations to explain fear

Overall he was patient with Christopher more and only had that one outburst.

She was very hot tempered with him and would throw things around the house. Ed would tell her she was taking it to seriously and needed to calm down.

" This is a very gripping murder mystery, as the writer Mark Haddon takes his readers inside the mind of someone who views the world entirely different than most people do. Christopher is diagnosed with autism and adores puzzles therefore is a great character to investigate the murder of a black poodle, Wellington." -Better now?

Thanks
yonman   
Jul 25, 2009
Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Ok please help me out with my thesis ;) The first question is just to introduce the syndrome bare in mind.

Mark Haddon's The Curious incident of the dog in the night-time demonstrates the effects of Asperger's syndrome and how it effects the development of the brain. Christopher's case of this syndrome affects his communication and his ability to understand ones emotions, in addition it has provided him with an excellent memory and his obsessions drive him to find out the mystery.
yonman   
Jul 25, 2009
Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

yes you're right thank you!

When I have an intro paragraph I will post it

"emotion, perception, and cognition" doesn't cognition and perception mean the same thing?

For my four body paragraphs I'm using Communication, ability to understand emotions, excellent memory and his obsessions which lead him to face his fears and find the killer.

how is that?
yonman   
Jul 26, 2009
Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Hows my intro looking? -please help me with my thesis I know its bad ;(

Aspergser's syndrome is a unique form of high functioning autism which affects how the brain is wired. The difference is that these individuals cannot connect information that they learned with the real world therefore many of them have difficulty in social situations. Many of them have social dyslexia where they would feel embarrassed in a social environment and feel handicapped when trying to establish emotional bonding and social relationships. For that matter people who are diagnosed with Aspergser's have extreme difficulty starting and maintaining a social life. The syndrome does come with its advantages though, as many are incredibly bright and focus on their interests and obsessions for long periods of time. It was stated that Albert Einstein had Aspergser's syndrome since he had many symptoms and was heavily involved in physics for decades. In the curious case of the dog in the night-time, Mark Haddon illustrates the how the protagonist Chris Boone lives with this type of autism and how it affected his communication as well and how he understands emotions in addition to providing him with an excellent memory and his interests drive him face his fears and figure out the mystery. This syndrome is very unique and each one who is effected has similar symptoms.

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