Undergraduate / Engineering in supporting my financial issues - Personal statement correction [2]

Personal statement

You will read an essay about a person who succeed in his studies by his own encourages and attempts, Being motivated is one of the reasons he succeed in his study life, to be positive and think positive is also need to be considered in the way he succeed in.

When I was 5 years old, my family registered me at school because of an excessive believing they had on my talent, therefore I started school where I faced with full pressure and depression, school was a tremendous place for me, and I failed in the first year though I was absconding every day from school to home.

Writing Feedback / Question: some people think that it is best for extended families to live together [2]

Although I was raised in an extended family I know the advantages and disadvantages of extended family, where we can learn a lot from each other and help each other on daily activities. In other hand, I have studied about nuclear family based on experience and studies that I have, today I choose nuclear family as a beneficial family based on the below reasons.

First, we can save much more money in nuclear family, because the members of nuclear family are less than extended family with fewer parties for lunch or dinner on weekends, where we need to pay attention on spending money on those days. In nuclear family the leader is supposed to pay for the members of family expenses only rather than paying extra for weekend's parties or fete... Etc.

Second, the members of nuclear family are much fresh and have good stamina based on living less crowded place along with manageable system. The leader of family can easily manage the family members and enjoys from having such a family which respect and follow the rules that he established for prosperous future of members. For instance, in an extended family a child requests his father to buy him a modern bicycle because his cousin got one, his father is poor and cannot effort that. But in nuclear family it's not like that, the child does not request for something like this because he got no cousin to be jealous with, so he follows the rules that the leader thought him.

Finally, nuclear family have the possibility to live the way they want. Live in a luxury house or a normal house? Have a latest car model or no? They enjoy of no interruption in their life and if they do right or wrong decisions no one will condemn them. For example, whven a person is living in an extended family, he must consider others suggestion in case of painting his bedroom, but in nuclear family he paints what color he wants for his room.

Thus, it can be seen that having a nuclear family can be quite beneficial. For human the most important is health, it comes to you, when you enjoy the life; having some money to enjoy. By considering the above reasons and choosing the nuclear family we can save more money to have a comfort life.

Writing Feedback / What other rewards for good work, apart from salary, are effective in encouraging further good work? [2]

Question:
Salary increase and promotions to new positions are not the only ways to reward the employees for good work. What other rewards for good work can be effective in encouraging further good work? Use specific examples to support your response.

Indeed the salary increase and promotions are the major ways to reward employees for better work, so there are other ways too, to reward employees for good work and better performance like praising them for good work and creating friendly circumstances among them.

First of all, when employees being encouraged by president of company or their manager for good work or performance, they get moral and trying to work better and better to get more rewards, and keep the trust of president or manager till end of his career. Others also trying for better performing into their work, these acclaims and encourages make them to work better to get the reward from president or manager. When I was 20 years old, I have been hired in a position as a site engineer on construction site, which was my first debut in my career, I had working hard to gain more about my field, In other hand I were to serious in doing work precisely and in a short time, one day in a meeting president of company acclaimed me for good performance, I got more energy for better work and that made me to try a lot in doing work in a good manner and negligible time.

In addition to encourage the employees, it's important to create friendly circumstances among employees, which effects on the amount of work to be done in a well manner and less time. In this situation employees trying to help each other to do the work in its best way possible in negligible time. I were working in an engineering team where we had a friendly working situation, and one day I had huge amount of work to do, I requested help from one of my colleagues. Together we finished that amount of work in one day in its best way possible, otherwise I supposed to do it in two days.

So, based on these experiences I came up with a conclusion that we should always try to consider the encouragement of employees for their good performance along with creating a friendly working circumstances among them to have the work done in a high possible level in short period of time.