Posts by CollegeBoy

CollegeBoy

Mar 28, 2015

Research Papers / "Science Class is for Science." Ideological conflict with fundamentalist religion. [3]

As much as I wish you would throw dirt at creationism in an emotional torrent, I am very impressed with the arbitrary writing of the essay; It was well written, and the transitions were fine (in my opinion). You could rub in a little bit of the negative effects of blind faith and the positive effects of scientific method and processes, but that would be more of a personal jab at religious devotion and explain-away beliefs (Since when has science led to Jihad or Child crusades?)

Nice Job

CollegeBoy

Mar 28, 2015

Scholarship / I work in a bank; AUSAID Scholarship (How I intend to use my skills) [4]

Assuming that the scholarship consists solely of some bonus money for college, it wants you to tell them how that money is going to be put to good use, whether you use it to purchase some advanced physics simulation software, or you invest it in a company that's interested in you in order to set some roots down throughout college, or if you just buy some nice updated text books that will provide you with the knowledge and skills required for you to advance your education.

The second part simply refers to things that, regardless of the scholarship, you may receive difficulty in accumulating or developing. If you wanted to buy some textbooks, but you cannot afford financing for them, that would be a constraint. If you need a certain amount of education before you invest in a company, and you need the money for the education, both time and money are constraints.

Be sure to impress them, but maintain a practical approach as to what you plan on doing with the scholarship. Listing of constraints is to your discretion.

CollegeBoy

Mar 28, 2015

Undergraduate / The people I see nearly every day are unable to access the education that they deserve [2]

I'm applying to UW Madison for the spring 2016, and would strongly appreciate any advice on this rough draft. Please let me know what to cut, add, switch, or correct.

Prompt "Consider something in your life you think goes unnoticed and write about why it's important to you."
High school is a transient portion of the average student's life; a four year term in which we are subject to standardized measurements based on our ability to conform to our classes' specifications and our teachers' ideologies. A student is an almost faceless entity who is defined not by their abilities, nor their unique talents, but by their summative numerical grades and their diverse extracurricular schedule.

The very things that make students who they are is relinquished for quantifiable data so that companies, colleges, and governments can sift through the vast amounts of potential workers, scholars, and candidates to filter out the 'top-tier' individuals and reject (or demoralize) the rest. What are overlooked in this process are the student's specializations, their backgrounds, and even their own visions and ideas of what the future might hold for them. The current educational system detracts from students growing their natural skills and abilities, instead maintaining the standardized curriculum of mandatory course selections in order to rank and file every student into a single pool for post high school institutions to draw from.

Throughout my own high school career, I've seen many people suffer because of inelastic teaching methods, the downfall of academically bright students that couldn't quite meet the passing standard in classes that they saw as irrelevant, or even the hindrance of some students' learning because of improper class placement. Over the last 4 years, the only noticeable change to the education system I've been enrolled in has been the further decline of the academic standard, a direct response to students failing their mandatory courses. My overall education experience has come to me as a large disappointment, despite my success in maintaining 'satisfactory' grades, and it pains me to think of the many bright futures that have been smothered by the outdated secondary education system.

Education as a whole is, and always has been, the most important aspect of my life. Nothing makes me happier than learning and understanding a new and abstract concept; the very idea of particle theory revolutionized the way that I think about science. My greatest pain in life has not been financial instability, or scarce free time, but the pain of knowing that people I see nearly every day are unable to access the education that they deserve, despite all the brilliant minds and technologies that modern civilization boasts. My observation of the unaddressed phenomenon of failure on the part of the education system has led to an internal struggle that drives me to try to improve the world in as many ways possible. In a way, that struggle now defines the most important aspect of who I am, but unfortunately for me, that definition is not quantifiable.