Writing Feedback / A concise narrative about an important event - UF Architecture college essay! [17]

I think this is a winning essay! You should add a conclusion to wrap it up

Undergraduate / Stuck on UC prompt, there is nothing really exciting in my life.. [15]

Thanks for the feedback!

A typical day for me is school, volunteering, and dance class. I'm interested in science like bio. Should I discuss how volunteering has shaped my world?

Undergraduate / Stuck on UC prompt, there is nothing really exciting in my life.. [15]

Our family is very unique compare to the typical Indian family of today. Indian families today are modernized: they like to brag about what they accomplished, make sure their children are following today's trend, and are not appreciative of their culture. My family has helped me deter away from the thoughts of typical Indians with their traditional yet powerful ideals: do things without expectations, whatever you do, do it with full heart, and don't worry about what other people think.

That's how I started it...is it okay so far?

Thanks

Undergraduate / Stuck on UC prompt, there is nothing really exciting in my life.. [15]

During junior year, I had a hard time of what my career should be. There were so many choices out there. All my friends were purposely doing the same thing so they could stay together. I really wanted to go through the path, but I also wanted to explore some more to see which career actually fits my personality. I didn't know what to do, so I asked my parents for help. The only thing they said that following passions is more important than what others want you to do. After that, I realized that what my friends are doing should not affect my decisions, especially choosing my future career.

Thanks for your input! This is my second paragraph,it is an example of how my parents teachings shaped my aspirations in the future. I'm so stuck as to what to add next.

Undergraduate / Stuck on UC prompt, there is nothing really exciting in my life.. [15]

I always wanted to know the meaning behind all the rituals we did such as why do we put a red bindi on our head or why do we pray to Lord Ganesh? I asked my parents for the answer, but they didn't know. This answer wasn't good enough me so I researched, but I couldn't find anything. Later on, my family joined this organization called Swadhyay which teaches us about our culture. Through discourses made by Rev. Pandurang Shahstri Athavale, I learned that the reason women put bindis on their head is for praying our intellect and we pray Lord Ganesh to remove our obstacles in our life. Swadhyay is a huge part of my world because it made me more knowledgeable about my culture and heritage.

This is my third paragraph, I'm so confused on how to end it? Should the next paragraph be the conclusion?

Thanks! :)

Undergraduate / Stuck on UC prompt, there is nothing really exciting in my life.. [15]

Thanks for the feedback! I'll put it all on one post.

Undergraduate / Stuck on UC prompt, there is nothing really exciting in my life.. [15]

hi, I finally finished with my essay...could anyone give feedback?

thanks for all your help :)

Our family is very unique compare to the typical Indian family of today. Indian families today are modernized: they like to strive for constant success and make sure their children follow today's trends, and in the process are slowly distancing from their culture. My family has helped me deter away from the thoughts of typical Indians with their traditional yet powerful ideals: do things without expectations, and follow your passions is more important than what others want you to do.

During junior year, I had a hard time of what my career should be. There were so many choices out there. All my friends were purposely doing the same thing so they could stay together. I really wanted to go through the path, but I also wanted to explore some more to see which career actually fits my personality. I didn't know what to do, so I asked my parents for help. The only thing they said that following passions is more important than what others want you to do. After that, I realized that what my friends are doing should not affect my decisions, especially choosing my future career.

I always wanted to know the meaning behind all the rituals we did such as why do we put a red bindi on our head or why do we pray to Lord Ganesh? I asked my parents for the answer, but they didn't know. This answer wasn't good enough me so I researched, but I couldn't find anything. Later on, my family joined this organization called Swadhyay which teaches us about our culture. Through discourses made by Rev. Pandurang Shahstri Athavale, I learned that the reason women put bindis on their head is for praying our intellect and we pray Lord Ganesh to remove our obstacles in our life. Swadhyay is a huge part of my world because it made me more knowledgeable about my culture and heritage.

Being in Swadhyay and with the help of my family, I am able to achieve my aspirations of becoming a better student and more knowledgeable about my culture. With the help of my parents, I am able to find more opportunities that will lead me to my career goal.

With these teachings, I am able to reach my goals and aspirations successfully.

Writing Feedback / Interacting with the same kind of people in work on a regular basis [10]

I think a coworker should be nice, easy to work with, and helpful

Essays / Question for UNC essay (word count) [26]

What is the maximum number of words for common app?

Hi,

What is the max # of words for common app?

Gracias! :)

Essays / Personal statement; Question about the way this question is formed? [5]

I think each should be about 500, you can't really say much in 250 words

Undergraduate / 'Sunny View Retirement Home' - UC PROMPT EDIT MY ESSAY [3]

Thanks Shelby :) I really appreciate it

Here is my revised version... I feel like I'm still missing something...what else do I need?

"If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody." This quote is a famous Chinese proverb that my best friend told me, and this has stuck with me ever since. It is sad to see how people at my school and my community are too lazy and selfish to lend a hand. Helping others does not have to take the whole day, an hour or two would be fine too. When I volunteer at the Sunny View Retirement Home, I love do many activities with the elderly such as playing word games, taking a long stroll with them, and baking with them. It satisfies me that I was willing to give 2 hours my time to help the elderly with their needs. When we played word games, one of the residents name Viola, always had trouble unscrambling the words. I always have to give her hints to help her solve the word. The next day, we were playing summer theme word scramblers. We had three residents that played with us: Howard, Viola, and Bill. It was Viola's turn, and the word was beach. Before I said a clue, she instantly said the answer and as soon as she said it, everyone was so ecstatic and happy. When I told her she got the answer, her eyes had this glow which reminded me of my little sister's eyes when she was able to swim on her own.

Essays / "culture shock" - my first question [4]

what have you noticed after you moved from your country/

How do people dress, eat, look, talk like?

hope this helps :)

Grammar, Usage / Active voice or Passive voice? Need clarification [4]

u should write in the active voice.
actually all the sentences u wrote are in the present